(no subject)

today has been crazy
my bf was up since yesterday, and he belives that i should eat way more than i do
i dont belive this
he also says that im working out too much,
also not true, 
im not working out enough
he has made me eat the absolute WORST things
cake, icing, a 250 cal sandwich,
needless to say i feel H-U-G=E
but even though all that i have lost 5 pounds since 4 days ago
not that great,
but its better then i have been doing
i've lost mayb a pund or two a week!
my mum is also constantly contributing to the hatred of my eating and exercising habits
she is convinced that i have a major eating disorder
i think i dont,
im only managing my intake
difference dont ya think
i cant wait till i can live on my own again,
if only i coul pull together an emancipation case for court
but forcing me to eat and not exercise as much would NEVER stand a chance :(
only 2 more years then

  • Current Mood
    nauseated nauseated

(no subject)

Well I lost since yesterday wich makes a total of since a month ago. WOOOOHOOOOOO

I am Soooooo Freeeking Happy about this I am down to 245 I only have 100 lbs to go and i will be at my goal and if the weight keeps comming offf like it is I will be at my goal by christmass.


(no subject)

Hey! This community is a bit dead... But I think we should all start posting more. I'll start. Also.. if anybody could make a promo banner, we could promote the community too.  I think this community has the capacity to be a really awesome community.

Anyways... I keep forgetting to take my meds. But I can't even tell if they make a difference. And I've been eating way too much. It's disgusting. I need to weigh tons less. I'm planning on going to less than 500 calories a day.

If anybody wants to talk, my AIM is ladylenci27

C'mon, let's start posting!!!
  • Current Mood
    blah blah

Newbie ( warning LONG post)

Claire (AKA bloodybladegirl)


Eating Disorder?
NOS (not otherwise Specified )
COE (cumpulsive over eatting)

Mental Disorder?
ok here we go
Bi-Polar w/ psychotic Episodes
Panic Attacks
Borderline personality Disorder
Body dismorphia
SI ( Self Injury)

My friend Farrah
My ex huspand Tony
My Son Ralphy
My puppy Vampyra (VAmpy) Nyteshade
My Puppy Powder Venom
My Live Journal
My therapist
My mom and dad
My friend Sandra
Web design
Witchy decorations
Men (yeah i am Bi)
Gorean lifestyles

Bush ( he is an idiot)

Breif History

Well this is My Story
I was a Happy Child never got into any real trouble never gave my parents a hard time.
I loved my life I had pets and a wonderful loving (if somewhat controlling) Family. But all that changed at are 8, I was raped by a Family Childhood friend on a camping trip, He raped me more times then I can count in that one weekend little camping trip, He degraded me in more ways then just rapping me, He pissed on me called me dirty names, and made me serve him on a chain for that whole weekend.
He told me if I told anyone He would kill my animals or my family so I kept quiet, for months, He would ask to have me go on more camping trips to do it again to me and my parents clueless to the truth allowed it, He was 15. This went on for 5 years by the time I was 10 I was cutting to try and purge His stink from my soul. By the time it came to an end I got pregnant, I ran away from home and had the baby, put the little one up for adoption and returned home.
At this time my family decided to move to Hawaii, life there was good, I was fine so long as I cut where no one could see. But 15 we moved to Seattle, there my mom got a teaching job at the local community college. I went with her to her classes and hung out on the streets and went to some of the cool shops after about a week, I was accosted by a black shopkeeper and raped, again I told no one. But I never went with her again.
My parents opened a store and I started going to scientific clubs in the area and working as a volunteer at the Burke Museum as a taxidermist of Birds, This was fun but lead to worse cuts because of access to surgical blades. I went to a Party and was Gang raped by a group of guys I will never be able to identify, as I was too drunk to see clearly. My cutting increased to 3 or 4 times a day.
I got in my first serious relationship at 16 with a girl named Melanie, was with her tell 18 at which point she dumped me for another girl. I got involved with a Older Guy I was now 18 and He was 38 I loved Him more then anything worshiped Him, but mom and dad didn’t approve so He was banned, but He and I hid our affair, we dated tell I was 19 at which point He and I fell apart because He suspected me of cheating on Him which I NEVER did.
I was stalked and held prisoner for 3 days by a guy who lived in my apartment complex; he raped me 4 times in that 3 days, before releasing me. The Cops did nothing! I moved out into a house with a band, and met a great guy whom I married and was married to for 6.5 years I had a Son with him and my cutting decreased. I attempted suicide after every one of my rapes, and once when my son was less then a year old. I was married to a great guy for 6 years I was mostly stable while with Him but our relationship fell apart and we got divorced and I moved to Florida.
When I moved here I was with a new Guy named Todd I was pregnant by Him and I miscarried the baby due to the stress of getting into therapy a new town, medication, being in mom and dads house, and be apart from him and the relationship dieing. I am now Divorced, Engaged to be married to a great guy a single dad, and am in therapy for my PTSD, and Bi-Polar I am on meds and have been able to reduce my cutting to practically nothing.
But I have developed ED. I have lost 30.5 lbs in the last 2 weeks.
  • Current Music
    Bruce Dickenson

(no subject)



eating disorders?
i've had anorexia. which turned into bulimia cuz i got tired of being hungry. then i got tired of throwing up all the time & got scared when i had to go to the er for dehydration, so now i just eat a lot...which sucks...& prolly have coe. :-(

mental disorders?
let's see...panic disorder, depression which is a given, body dysmorphic disprder, ocd, paranoia, bordeline personality, & i have an addictive personality which sets me up for other great things down the road...yes.

my lovely b/f kortlin
being alone
drinking to forget
wiritng to relieve stress
quirky cult movies
beach novels
tanning while drinking
shopping of raccesories

shoppin gofr clothes [makes me feel fatter]
girls who are skinny & eat w/e they desire
fake ppl
ppl who interfere
food is evil
being the way i am...
  • Current Music
    sumthin angry...i dunno