laeth_maclaurie (laeth_maclaurie) wrote in _moviereview,

The Five Most Intellectually Insulting Films

5. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade - Because Nazis are so bad and so evil that only the magic monkey in the sky can beat them. This wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't EXACTLY HOW THE FIRST MOVIE IN THE SERIES ENDED.

4. IZO - For trying to palm off 2 hours of unremitting crappy swordfights as a Nietzschean philosophical journey.

3. Starship Troopers - For teaching me that in the future, the Marines will have co-ed showers. And 'science' will be primarily concerned with sodomizing bugs.

2. Schindler's List - For being one of the most simplistic, moralizing, propagandistic films in modern history. And for one of the most pandering scenes in film history, the Graveside Hokum ending.

1. Saving Private Ryan - For assuming that Americans won't know who to pull for if you don't have the only German character in the film turn out to be a lying, sadistic psychopath. And they sure as hell won't know what happened to Tom Hanks if you don't close the film with Graveside Hokum, Pt. II.
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