papas choice


Husband (20s/30s) wears cargo shorts/pants and button/collar shirts/t-shirts.

Wife (20s/30s) says to husband that he should dress more appropriately for his age: cut the cargo stuff, opting for straight or tapered angle pants and less trendy shoes.

What say you?

michelle & max.

Your Name: Michelle

Your Age:

Your Husband/Wife's Name:
He goes by Max. He's 33.

Wedding Date:
May 1, 2009. May Day. May-Day. It's the day that it rains the most in Nashville.

How Did You Guys Meet?:
We were both regulars at the same seedy watering hole, and I took his cute face home. He paused upon seeing my bookshelf, further inquiry proved we each had intelligent minds and interesting things to say. Two weeks later, we were engaged.

Kids Ages & Names (If Any):
No kids, but we have some fantastic hillbilly names picked out.

I'm from Washington State. He's Texan. We met and live in Nashville, TN.

The Best Thing About Being Married?
To a certain extent, security and comfort. Having a partner to work toward a common end. Company in bed. Potential to develop into something better. And I really do enjoy my husband's handsome face. (Also, we have awesome wedding rings.)

The Worst Thing About Being Married?
I wouldn't say the worst, but the hardest things would be: Negotiating the styles of fights we're each willing to have, owning up to the mistakes we make and the struggles we have, letting little things go.

Anything else you'd like to share:
Something else I wish I could figure out is how to resurrect those amazing just-met-cha feelings. The first year has had its hills and valleys, all I want to know is how to make love stay.

While we appreciate our differences, we also struggle with understanding motivation and work ethic. I'm an artist and he's a construction worker/truck driver. He's worked hard for everything he has and I've had a lot of help and schooling along the way. Not to say I haven't worked hard. I have.
Canadian Candles
  • mikaboo

Career students vs. family planning

My husband and I have been married almost two years, and we are both in undergraduate programs. Since we are not the typical age for undergrads (I'm 28 and he's 34), we will have the difficult task of deciding when is the "least inconvenient" time to start a family. My husband will finish his BSc in Computer Science at the end of next year, however I have a full year (Psych major/Criminology minor) to go after that. He plans on getting a master's degree. I do as well, but because of the program I'm involved in, I pretty much have to get a Ph.D. before I can do anything worth while with my degree.

I'm wondering if any of you guys have had experiences with having children while in grad/PhD programs?

I know a few people who do this IRL, and I see quite a few families on campus, but I don't know any of them well enough to ask how they deal day to day. Ideally it would be awesome to wait to have kids until we are finished school completely, but I don't see that as realistic. Though I'm set on having kids in our lives no matter how we run across them (biological, adopted, fostered, being the cool aunt/uncle).

Also, as a side question... Is there anyone here who has a job where you deal with violent people? My main career goal involves either studying or dealing with violent offenders and I'm interested in how people deal with their work so it doesn't interfere with family life.

(Clearly this post is brought to you by "I want to do anything BUT study")

*edit* I want to thank all of you for the awesome comments! I will try to respond to all tomorrow. I didn't think I would get this much of a response!
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kurt halsey : girl and cat

my husband the clothes hoarder...

I saw some posts about husbands with clothes collecting problems and I thought I would share what I have been doing. In our closet we have a top rack (my clothing) and a bottom rack (his clothing). I push all the clothes I don't know if he wears to one side (right side) and all the clothes I know he wears to the other side (left side). When I put away the laundry it always goes to the left side. After a certain period of time I will get rid of the clothes on the right side if they are untouched. His pants are a little trickier because they are kept in a dresser. I tell him if they don't fit throw them in a certain corner of the room but he rarely does... usually they go into the clothes hamper to be washed over and over again. Clothes is a big annoyance issue because I seriously remember bothering my mom like this when I was a teenager and now I have to deal with my man doing this to me. Karma I guess. But what I really hate is that he has ten times more clothing than me and I feel like I'm swimming in clothing because it is everywhere! For me, I only keep 10 articles of clothing in the closet at a time. When I throw something out, I buy something new! But his side is jammed pack.

feel free to share your anti-clothes-hoarding tips within this post.

No Einstein

Has your SO ever done something so incredibly dumb you couldn't help but just shake your head and smile? I just witnessed Joe Joe eat a 25-year-old piece of gum, just for the experience.

This man has two BAs by the way...


I have been on about a week or two but hadn't done this yet so here goes...

Your Name: Mandy

Your Age: 27

Your Husband/Wife's Name: JD (22)

Wedding Date: May 6, 2007

How Did You Guys Meet?: Mutual Friends Bday Party Feb 2 2007 - surprised we hadn't met before then

Kids Ages & Names (If Any): I have a 5 year old daughter from a previous relationship

City/State/Country: Vancouver-Area, BC, Canada (Also spend alot of time in Seattle Wa. where he is from)

The Best Thing About Being Married? Sharing your life with someone

The Worst Thing About Being Married?Sharing your life with someone

Anything else you'd like to share: We only knew each other 3 months and got married. My ex and I had broken up before we got together, but he passed away after my husband-to-be and I knew each other only 2 months, we decided to get married quickly and enjoy life together as life was to precious and unpredictable (my ex was only 32 when he died) - - - we have had to deal with my grieving my ex's death.... my daughter adjusting to a new man.... his immigration to Canada from USA.... basic differences in ideas on life and of course new marriage issues (money, time, goals, etc) We go thru up's and down's and I think this group will help me vent and hear from others who have similar experiences.... I am very open and honest - so let's go from there :)


Buttface and I have started to make small steps towards opening up the relationship. We decided to do this because we don't always have enough time for each other with both our faces rammed in books and school projects filling up his schedule its kind of hard getting our needs met. And as time goes one we may have bouts of long distance due to our careers.

Our first step is to allow cuddling. As this is simple some people do this with just regular friends, and its what we lack the most and its the something he feels comfortable with at the moment. Then we'll open things up more until we can find our comfort zone. We agreed to be completely honest about our interactions and to disown and partners we may have if they feel the need to be an asshole to either of us for whatever reason. As in my eyes he comes first and I come first in his.

Do any of you have experience with open relationships? How did you transition into this? What issues did you deal with and how did you deal with them? Any advice on this?

edit because it keeps coming up:

1)We are not being poly. We are just opening things up a bit.
2)Its more about schedule conflict than it is time.
3)We are not going to go out and seek people to do these things with. We are just opening up to opportunity. So if say we are out with friends in the first place, we are allowed to take things a little further, if the opportunity comes.

edit: I would also appreciate it if you stopped telling us we don't actually love each other or trying to tell me what our intentions are. We just want some resources and here about your experience.