(no subject)

why is it that i feel like this?
kinda like , nothing is fun anymore.
like nothing is worthwhile?
i cant get away from this feeling.
it's eating me up inside.
things i once thought were "cool"
i just dont care about anymore.
thats the problem i guess.
i just dont care about anything.
or anyone.
they ask me if im okay, but they dont care either.
is it because of all the missing bits of care and niceness?
is that why im suddenly like this?
im so tired of putting up this fucking facade of happiness.
if i dont care, why should they?
fuck it, its not worth it.

(no subject)

So Twink stopped LJing, because its sort of a taboo type of thing for her now.

I've been waiting for an email from her all week.
Hope shes doing okay. If she wasn't I'd have no one to tell me.

I threw my blades last week, after three weeks of not cutting, I came to the conclusion that if I had the opportunity I'd cut if they were there.

So instead of relying on my willpower, I decided to rely on the doubts of my weakness and throw them away.

What to say...depressions been a bitch.

I liked a friend of mine, waited too long, ignored the opportunities, and now hes off with another friend of mine.

Basically, I set them up. So its my fault.

Basically, I had the chance. So its my fault.

Basically, I'm sick of blaming myself. For a stupid high school relationship.

And anyway, it doesn't make a difference now.

im new, who really cares.

hey. im new. i figured id join, i dont have anything to do. do you people actually slash yourselfs? it IS rather messy... and it leaves visible marks, which ive found to be the leading cause of unwanted adult attention. i just pierce my ears again when i feel like doing something like that... just listening to three day's grace today, the song that goes "no matter how hard i try/never satisfied/this house is not a home/ ithink im better off alon/ you always disappear/ even when your here/this is not my home/ithink im better off alone" that is like my personal fucking theme song.wonderful dark lyrics are better.. like translations of Rammstein... you should read some of my poetry, its awesome...somebody is telling me to get off the computer...fuck off, prick...later.
  • Current Music
    Three Day's Grace-Home

Guess whos back...back again...

I've made my journal half private half public.

I've been neglecting this place a lot.

I hate how people judge me without knowing what I'm really thinking.

When I'm quiet, thats when you'll know I'm thinking of a million things.

When I say I'm fine but took half a minute to reply, thats when you'll know that I'm not.

When I stare at you, its because I'm wondering why you're lying.

When I look at you and have a thousand questions in my eyes, I'm thinking whether you'll be there in the long run.

If I lay my head on your chest, I want you to be here with me forever.

And ever and ever.
  • Current Music
    right to be wrong ~ joss stone
Bright red.

You know what I hate?

I hate people who think they're so great, just 'cause they dyed their hair the colour that's in fashion! I hate people woh think they have the right to comment on other people's lives, when they don't have the empathy level of CHEESE. I hate people in general.

I love you guys, really.



~ Clare

(no subject)

hey i just joined. umm...i have a hell of a lot of over angsty friends (ranging from paranoid skitso's, to eating disorders and drug problems...yey the fun of going to an arts school...) anywho i was bored and just thought i'd introduce myself. I also have problems with self harm, and eating problems... but in good news, i play bass guitar.

(no subject)

My parents are gonna sell the house in England.

The money they get from that will go to buying two apartments.

Two separate apartments.

Meaning they will be married but they won't actually be together.

They might as well divorce.

This will happen in the next one to two years.

I will live with my so-called mother.

Rico will live with my dad.

We'll see each other on holidays.

Its all getting sorted out.

Hey, maybe living with her won't be so bad.