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Love the Hate - Embrace Teen Angst

My Place < ~ > You Don't Have Enough Money To Sue Me!
Maybe You < ~ > Wanna Join The Frikin Community
Or Take < ~ > A Little Look Around?
Every Day < ~ > Of The Week Makes Me Want Last Year Back
Where The < ~ > Good Times Gone?
[ website - A Bolloxers Mind ]
Love to Hate
Embrace Teen Angst

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[Sunday, 6th of November, 2005 and its 6:03pm]
Check out FLYLEAF! On tour with STAIND.

E-card here!
1 will let my blood run free stab me

[Wednesday, 21st of September, 2005 and its 10:22pm]

i am new and so fucking glad this community was made.
1 will let my blood run free stab me

[Tuesday, 3rd of May, 2005 and its 1:34pm]

why is it that i feel like this?
kinda like , nothing is fun anymore.
like nothing is worthwhile?
i cant get away from this feeling.
it's eating me up inside.
things i once thought were "cool"
i just dont care about anymore.
thats the problem i guess.
i just dont care about anything.
or anyone.
they ask me if im okay, but they dont care either.
is it because of all the missing bits of care and niceness?
is that why im suddenly like this?
im so tired of putting up this fucking facade of happiness.
if i dont care, why should they?
fuck it, its not worth it.
stab me

[Monday, 18th of April, 2005 and its 10:12pm]

So Twink stopped LJing, because its sort of a taboo type of thing for her now.

I've been waiting for an email from her all week.
Hope shes doing okay. If she wasn't I'd have no one to tell me.

I threw my blades last week, after three weeks of not cutting, I came to the conclusion that if I had the opportunity I'd cut if they were there.

So instead of relying on my willpower, I decided to rely on the doubts of my weakness and throw them away.

What to say...depressions been a bitch.

I liked a friend of mine, waited too long, ignored the opportunities, and now hes off with another friend of mine.

Basically, I set them up. So its my fault.

Basically, I had the chance. So its my fault.

Basically, I'm sick of blaming myself. For a stupid high school relationship.

And anyway, it doesn't make a difference now.
stab me

im new, who really cares. [Thursday, 7th of April, 2005 and its 2:41pm]

[ mood | give yourself a fucking cookie ]

hey. im new. i figured id join, i dont have anything to do. do you people actually slash yourselfs? it IS rather messy... and it leaves visible marks, which ive found to be the leading cause of unwanted adult attention. i just pierce my ears again when i feel like doing something like that... just listening to three day's grace today, the song that goes "no matter how hard i try/never satisfied/this house is not a home/ ithink im better off alon/ you always disappear/ even when your here/this is not my home/ithink im better off alone" that is like my personal fucking theme song.wonderful dark lyrics are better.. like translations of Rammstein... you should read some of my poetry, its awesome...somebody is telling me to get off the computer...fuck off, prick...later.

2 will let my blood run free stab me

Guess whos back...back again... [Sunday, 27th of February, 2005 and its 8:55pm]

[ mood | contemplative ]

I've made my journal half private half public.

I've been neglecting this place a lot.

I hate how people judge me without knowing what I'm really thinking.

When I'm quiet, thats when you'll know I'm thinking of a million things.

When I say I'm fine but took half a minute to reply, thats when you'll know that I'm not.

When I stare at you, its because I'm wondering why you're lying.

When I look at you and have a thousand questions in my eyes, I'm thinking whether you'll be there in the long run.

If I lay my head on your chest, I want you to be here with me forever.

And ever and ever.

stab me

You know what I hate? [Friday, 4th of February, 2005 and its 10:54pm]

I hate people who think they're so great, just 'cause they dyed their hair the colour that's in fashion! I hate people woh think they have the right to comment on other people's lives, when they don't have the empathy level of CHEESE. I hate people in general.

I love you guys, really.



~ Clare
1 will let my blood run free stab me

I'm not sure if i'm allowed to promote but... [Saturday, 29th of January, 2005 and its 10:47pm]

feel free to delete it if you'd prefer i wouldn't.
Read more...Collapse )
stab me

[Sunday, 23rd of January, 2005 and its 7:38pm]

hey i just joined. umm...i have a hell of a lot of over angsty friends (ranging from paranoid skitso's, to eating disorders and drug problems...yey the fun of going to an arts school...) anywho i was bored and just thought i'd introduce myself. I also have problems with self harm, and eating problems... but in good news, i play bass guitar.
1 will let my blood run free stab me

[Tuesday, 11th of January, 2005 and its 1:39pm]

My parents are gonna sell the house in England.

The money they get from that will go to buying two apartments.

Two separate apartments.

Meaning they will be married but they won't actually be together.

They might as well divorce.

This will happen in the next one to two years.

I will live with my so-called mother.

Rico will live with my dad.

We'll see each other on holidays.

Its all getting sorted out.

Hey, maybe living with her won't be so bad.
stab me

Oh god. [Sunday, 9th of January, 2005 and its 5:56pm]

Its too hot today. The suns not hot, but its close.


Remember, lightning is pretty - until you get killed by it.

In other news, it's cool to be dead! Fuck knows.
stab me

Mandika [Saturday, 8th of January, 2005 and its 8:54pm]

1 year today! happy anniversary to me & becca. oh well.

Mum decided to go on a shopping spree today, and using my charms i managed to get a few 'essentials' including The Best Of Sinead O'Connor.

Point is... I dunno... but that's my point.

Dad is pissed off with me. my long hair, my black clothes, my black nail varnish - he hates it. He wants to be a 'normal' child ~ play soccer... rugby... something... not go around scowering at people and being depressed. But it's bollocks. I Don't care. Being myself has got me this far, and, in the process, earned me alot of respect- for example, my class-mates have admitted that ive had guts to go against Mr Martin's bullying tatics and even the teachers have commended me! It's official. Individuality beats Conformity.
1 will let my blood run free stab me

So how is it that I come to this... [Saturday, 8th of January, 2005 and its 10:03pm]

At the end of the day.

So people. Whats up with me, huh? I don't know.

Okay, that was a lie, I do. I'm not pregnant.

I also went to see Ladder 49.

And I'm too happy to sit here and tell you about a sad movie that tells you about real life story. Because thats what it is, its a sad movie, that might have you cry a few tears, but in the end, if you're like me, you'll just be sitting there thinking "why are all these people crying?".


Death my friends. Someone right now is dying, there is nothing you can do about it, and you sitting there at the cinema crying over a guy that didn't actually die at all almost counts as offensive to the people that are crying over someone they loved.

Its offensive to people that have died, because the guy didn't die at all, and theres no one actually mourning him, no one that learnt from him, no one that loved him, no one that knew Jack Morrison, that guy everyone was crying over.

So here comes the argument for, there is a Jack Morrison, every fire fighter thats ever died is in a way, Jack Morrison.
I guess you could say that anyone thats cried or going to cry in this movie will cry for every fireman thats ever died, saying that makes it slightly better.

So technically, its a good thing, because everyone whos seen that movie has now realised that fire fighters are really good people, simply because they're trained to put out a fire, but would give their life for yours, no matter who you are, they'd give their life for someone they'd never met, and as much as I talk about killing myself and I self harm, right now it would take a lot for me to die for someone I've never met before.
Tomorrow I might think I totally would. But thats another day.

Right now I'm happy, I know this is a Teen Angst community, so here comes my bit of anger for today.

My dad broke a plate on the kitchen counter to make sure everyone got his point, and my ma smashed her mug on the floor to make sure everyone was paying attention, my brother was laughing at the whole situation.
I think they're all fucking crazy.

My night was really bad. But I saw Ladder 49. And I'm happy that I'm alive right now.

I also suggest everyone downloads this song, its weird, but its good.
stab me

Ahoy! [Saturday, 8th of January, 2005 and its 2:47pm]

Pavel asked me out.

This is a big dilemma.
stab me

Fanny, oops, I mean funny, yet disturbing. [Friday, 7th of January, 2005 and its 1:24pm]

Why do people try to help us by making these?!!?!?!? (its BBC - so its safe)



go the them one at a time.

Please. for the love of god - don't hold me responsible.
2 will let my blood run free stab me

Hey, it works! [Thursday, 6th of January, 2005 and its 8:07pm]

[ mood | horny ]


Um... Yeah.

Well, this is my first post here, 'cause I was figuring out how to do this, 'cause modern technology is crap like that.

Um... Yeah.


I'm a girl, and I hate it. I hate having cramps, and waking up to find your bed sheets covered in blood. I hate the stigma, I hate the insults used for girls, I hate the sexual frustration. I hate the way men can still manipulate women.


I made some banners, and a few icons (still making some more), but Photobucket's freaking out and I can't host them - will snap to it as soon as I can.

Stupid Photobucket.

Bet it's run by a man. :P

Mazzie - you... You're sweet. You really are. Nice to know what goes on in that head of yours.

Too bad I have no sweet words to return.

Love and fishcakes.

~ Clare

2 will let my blood run free stab me

Forced Into This. [Thursday, 6th of January, 2005 and its 9:40pm]

[ mood | what's apathetic mean?! ]

As this going public, thanks to Maz...

I've been instructed by Bolloxer to "Just be me". Of course, if it was my choice I'd probaly be dancing in Cyber Space in a mini-skirt and crop-top singing Britney Spears. You perverts! Not really. I wouldn't sing Britney Spears, maybe Christina Aqueliria (or however you spell the blonde tart's name), but not Britney.

Deep and meaningful? Ummm. Let's start with homosexuality. If you think you might be lesbian/gay/bi-sexual come out of the closet and say it loud and proud! Homosexuals are great people. If it wasn't for my heterosexuality, I might consider being one.

When your parents/guardians/employers say "I'm not angry with you, I'm just dissopointed" - it's bullshit. When they're disopointed they get depressed and ignore you. When they're angry they shout and try to kill you. There's a sharp difference. Unless they're angrily disopointed.

SEX IS PURELY PHYSICAL... if you use a CONDOM! Otherwise, you're leaving yourself exposed to the pure misery of babies... okay, babies are cute (when theyre not shitting, crying or sucking on your tit), but when they turn into little shits - about 6 - 11 years old - you hate them. they think they know better than everyone else. they also tell on you. so don't tell them you're having an affair with their teacher. they'll tell.

Keep your friends close by. They're the only people who take so much bullshit off you and remain your friends (even if it is after an extended period of hatredness).. unless you have one good boyfriend/girlfriend/dog who will always be there. (p.s. dedicated to rebecca nix - i graffited her mobile number on a bus shelter. she got pervs ringing her. she still forgave me.)

Otherwise, enjoy life, and remember a bit of pain is good once in a while. I'm not encouraging you to slit yourself open - it's messy. try falling out of a tree or wrestling with a great dane (such as my gorgeous dog, Onyx). All the pain, all the gain, no mess! (unless you climb a really high tree or wrestle a really strong dog).

That's all I have to say. Cheerio.

2 will let my blood run free stab me

I still have to let you know...a House doesn't make a Home [Thursday, 6th of January, 2005 and its 7:27pm]

I was sitting here last night, after I closed down all my IE windows, just waiting for the end of the song before switching off the computer.

All of the sudden this Britney Spears pop up flashed on my screen.
Her mouth...a dick would've fitted right in there.
And looked in its natural habitat too.

♥ ~ ♥

So I got a text the other day.
This girl I know had slashed her legs open and wished me a "Happy Fuckin New Year".
At the time I was actually with a friend of mine and after I sent a reply back he got mad at me, because he thought that I should've said something important.
Something meaningful.

I can't say something meaningful to her.
I can try but I never actually will.

Because when she tells me she doesn't know what to do about it,
I know what she means.
When she says she's been waiting all day to get home and cut,
I know exactly what she means.

If I knew another answer, another way, if I held it in an envelope I'd probably mail it to her so she could open it first.
If I knew how to make her stop, I would.
If I knew how to help her, I would've already tried.

But if I knew all that I wouldn't be writing this.
I wouldn't have made this community.
Because if I had that other answer, that other way - I don't think I would've ever met her. Or ever spoken to her online. Or ever gave her my number.
If I could get her to stop I'd be stopping myself.
If I could help her I'd actually be helping myself.

Because in fact she is just like me.
She's a different version of me.
But, in a way, she's me.

I'm sorry that I can't give her the answers I've been looking for myself.
I'm sorry I can't help her out, and that we live in different time zones, and that I haven't called her yet to tell her how much she deserves to be happy.

Someone needs to tell that girl she deserves to be happy.

Someone needs to tell me I deserve to be happy.

Because I don't listen to myself, and I don't think she does either.
1 will let my blood run free stab me

[Thursday, 6th of January, 2005 and its 4:04pm]

♥ ♣ ♥ ♠ ♥

So I've been modifying this a bit, messing around...doing fuck all.

I'm not meant to be here, I was meant to go to the beach today.

But the fucking weathers right wank.

So I'm home.

I watched Oprah.

Thats right.

Fuck-me-licious-now-baby-I-have-money-even-though-I-didn't-do-fuck-to-get-my-own-show Oprah.

I don't mind her.

I just missed what she did to get her own show.
2 will let my blood run free stab me

Dudes! [Thursday, 6th of January, 2005 and its 2:10am]

Hey all....

So I was bored a few hours ago and decided to make this.

Twinkles came up with the name.

Queeny is currently working on the pic to put up.

I have been doing this fucking layout thing for an hour at least, its 2:08 am and I have to wake up before midday tomorrow.

So I'll be a dead chick walking.
stab me

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