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Love is Hope. Love is Faith. Love is Life.

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HELP!!!! [24 Sep 2006|01:04am]
[ mood | confused ]

So I have a HUUUUUUGE problem. And I REALLY need advice.

There's this guy I know and I like him. He asked me out like two days ago and I said yes. But I hardly EVER talk to him and half the time we don't even act like we're dating. I hardly know him. He lives in California. I've never met him in person ((even though he used to live in Michigan not too far from me)) and I haven't even talked to him on the phone. Plus, he's known to be a whore. I know, I was stupid to go out with him. Blah blah blah.

Now, I met this girl recently and just started actually talking to her Friday. She really really likes me and I really like her too. And I've learned more about her in two days than I have in nearly a year with this guy I'm dating. We act like we're dating even though we're not and have already been asked about it once. I see her every school day and I at least talk to her on the days I don't see her.

Now, I know it would be smarter to dump this guy and go out with her. But I do like the guy and I don't want to hurt him. What should I do???

♥ Hailli xoxo

love is life

Sorry <3 [09 Aug 2006|01:41pm]
love is life

lPostsecrets.... [07 Feb 2006|06:49pm]

So I haven't even been on LJ in awhile but I wanted to tell everyone a few things
First off, I am not living with the man I am going to marry and have babies with
YAY! :-) <3
And second off my friend is extremely pissed that the guy that runs Postsecrets selects certain post cards to go no there and a lot of them are messed up or not even that well done or WAY too cliche
So she made an Lj donttellsecrets
And it's NOT a community
It's where she puts up a topic and people post comments with secrets ANONYMOUSLY!!
And you cn make them pretty in photoshop if you want to or you can just type it
Whatever you want really
And I really like it
I thought it was a neat idea so I thought I would share it with others
1 /agree that love is life

[03 Jan 2006|09:35pm]

love is life

[01 Jan 2006|04:32pm]

its about love. the loving kind.
love is life

[26 Oct 2005|08:28pm]

ok so i ended up goign to homecoming with some friends like some people in here told me i should do.
..i ended up having a pretty good time.

i got to see alot of people. nd even got to dance with a few guys i liked =] (nd they asked me!)
..i didn't stay for the whole time though. because i the music sucked nd my feet were hurting. nd the people i came with were starting to get bored. so we went out to try to find a place that was open for coffee or something. but of course. we have to have a stupid curview(sp?) because of katrina's stupid ass.
..so we ended up goign pick up another friend nd went chill at one of their houses until like 300 in the AM.

(sorry if this is a pointless entry)

but i was just posting this to say thanks for the positive advice from you guys on what i should do. it helped bunches =]
2 /agree that love is life

[23 Oct 2005|02:45pm]

hey i havent worte in here in so long but a lot has gone on in my life
i toattly spilled my heart out to one guy and that didnt work...got over him..found out this guy who we like to call "Kris" likes me...so i hung out with him..and i started to like him..my parents didnt like him..cause he has a different color hair and his ears are gaged...and lets say my mom is kind of a snob. well she says she not but she judges by looks. and he is currently not in school..cause of his grades..but i know some reasons why...and i dont know..but he does kinda have a plan...but i stated going to swing dancing more to hangout with him..and we have been going out for 3 weeks...and it has been the best 3 weeks ever..when i am with him i am so happy..i like i dont know everything just goes away...and i am seriouly falling in love with him...but my mom can not find out me and him are dating cause she said i wasnt allowed to go out with him...and like she is starting to get soupicious about us...cause we talk on the phone alot and i have to lie to her and tell her it's other people when he calls and like keep my cell phone and slient..and she ask me why i do that...but she is always asking me if there is something going on between me and him...and i hate lying to her i wiah i could be like okay mom i am going out with him and i love himmand he makes me so so happy and he treats me so good! cause thats another thing he treats me so good like i dont know no other guy has treated me as good as "kris" treats me. he just so sweet always saying sweet things and you can tell he means it like i dont know you just can...i just wish my mom would let me be happy for once instead of her think he is nothing but a loser i guess...cause he really isnt..and i plan on being with him for a while so i really dont know what to do...so anyone have advice?
cause i could really use it..thanks

11 /agree that love is life

[22 Oct 2005|09:17pm]

Mary and i have been together for 6 months and 9 days ^-^.
I love her so much.
being with her... its like im so much more complete, and when i cant talk to her i dont feel as complete, though just the thought of her really makes me happy.
just seeing her picture makes me cry tears of joy sometimes.
haha... i check my email comulsively, hoping shes sent me a "just to let you know i love you" sort of email... sometimes its as if she knows when i need them the most or when im stressed out.
i love her.
and when we ARE together alone... its much much mucho fun ^-^. Talking to her is happy and warm and wow can she turn me on... teehee.
i love her so much.
3 /agree that love is life

LOVE IS LIFE [22 Oct 2005|09:08pm]

I must say something... so many things have been negative lately,that i feel as it is the duty of such communities as this to spread the love.
do something nice.
buy a homeless man a burger.
help someone who needs it.
love yourself.
and remember that you should never settle for being unhappy.
and thats what life is.
your life is measured in love.

1 /agree that love is life

[04 Oct 2005|07:24pm]

[ mood | annoyed ]

I'm feeling rather "blah" today.

Ok, so pretty much everyone has a date for homecoming at my school.
..excet for who?

I did have a date at first, and we were going to go as friends. Buttt, someone asked him out. So I, of course, got kicked to the curb. And now, have no date. I mean, even most of the like geeky people that don't even have friends have dates it seems like. All of the little goody good people. I mean EVERYONE.
Except for me. I'm the outsider. The one that doesn't fit in. It sucks.

I really did think i would have a date, but i don't. I counted on being with my ex for this. But guess what. He's my ex now. So that's out of the question, because we can't even go as friends cause of his gf.

this sucks. sorry if this entry was pointless. i just had soemthign to say, and no one cared to listen. so i came here.


11 /agree that love is life

[26 Sep 2005|10:22pm]

So, the fall season always makes me not want to be alone.
I just think it would be nice to have someone to walk down sidewalks with,
and laugh at the crunching leaf sounds with.

And to jump into leaf piles.

And to carve pumpkins with.

Maybe luck will be on my side this season?


Anyone else feel the same?

Or am I just weird.

6 /agree that love is life

[13 Sep 2005|06:07pm]

[ mood | i feel so ugly... ]

i feel really... unbeautiful right now.
really. im not being emo... i have a reason.
as in i feel ugly. why are people mean?
whenever i hear people being mean, it makes me feel bad... but people are rarely mean to me. so when people are mean to me, it really hurts... because i HATE being mean to people and bringing them down.
i was having a good day and then...
i feel ugly.
why are people so mean?
i feel ugly.
i hate my body sometimes... other times, i really love it. but right now, my body disgusts me. its pathetic- i find that there's more than basing your life on trivial things, obviously, but right now...
im just sad. not angry. just sad.
and im sad that that person is so mean. why are they the way they are? why are they ignorant? why cant they love?
he pretends to be nice, and is to alot of people, but to some people... he's mean.
why are people lke that?
i wonder if maybe i can ever try to fix him...

4 /agree that love is life

[12 Oct 2005|01:19am]

[ mood | lots of thoughts right now. ]

ok. so. im sitting here. at my computer thinking.
..im made such a fool tonight talking to him. i should have never told him any of the stuff i did, but yet, i did. nd now i cant change that. i hate that i always open up my heart to people. im not emotionaly attatched to him a i was to jon. nd i think im starting to see the good in think hes better than jon. i think it means im getting over him.. kati, krystin, nd destiney said they were proud of me =]..i9m proud of me too. its time fr change, even if it does mean being alone, and even feeling that way most of the time. im always feeling alone. like theres no one out there thats meant for me. but, then i think of him nd the day he said he liked me too(not jon)..it makes me feel a little less unloved nd a little more loved. it makes me feel like im not so alone anymore. nd it certainly makes me happy. yes, jon was my frist real love, but i need to get over him. no, i will never forget him, but i do however want to get over him. i want to move on. i think holdin on to him for so long even when i knew it was over for good was what made me like i am now. i never used to be emo. my friends say im emo now. am i emo?..my friends also say that ive become bitchier..my parents have to. thats the reason why im punished right now. am i bitchier?..my mom is bringing me to the doctor to get nerve pills because she said she cant handle my temper any more. she said its out of control nd she doesnt think i can control it by myself. she said she thinks itll take more than just will power nd me being punished for ever to get me to "behaive".
idk. i dont know anything. i dont even know why im sitting here rambling on in a community. i mean, should i be doing this in my own journal nd let people who know me worry about my problems? or should i put this somewhere in a private journal nd keep it to myself?..oh well. its going in here. if you dont want to read this obviously you wouldve stopped by now, so i guess thank you. thank you to the people who actually have the patients to sit here nd read about my messed up life. feel free to comment by the way.
..i mean. he lives in a different state(not jon) nd i know i cant have him, yet i still want him. nd he said he likes me too, which makes me happy. but, i know we couldnt. he wouldnt. idk. maybe if he grew to like me more?. idk. should i give up on him nd me liking him nd him liking me cause i know i cant do anything about it. or should i just give up on love completely. i mean it seems like a good idea, im tired of having heartbreaks. they hurt.(ok, yes i know im kinda being captain obvious at the moment). but they do, and if youve ever been through one, i feel your pain. nd i completely understand what your went through. it sucks.
..wow. youre still reading..well i guess i hope you still are. i would like someone, at least one person to read it. KRYSTINHEAD?! i know your out there somewhere, maybe youre reading this?..hope so.

..my life sucks. my state(louisiana) is so screwed up nd theres no more friggin new orleans. i loved new orleans. it was awesome. i loved to just go to the french quarter nd like just have fun, when i was there i never thought about anything. i just lived nd had fun doing it. now. theres no more new orleans to just live nd have fun doing it. now, im stuck at home. stuck here to think nd never get away from my problems nd worries and fears nd hates and my life.
..nd, my bday is in 8 days nd i doubt ill even have a birthday really. we have to worry about my grandparents, new orleans, our brand new van that got totaled(we hit a dear coming home from evacuating).
i mean. i dont really care about the bday except for the fact that i was supossed to get my bass nd my voodoo tickets. but, NOW. theres no friggin voodoo. there goes my chance to see HIM for the 1st time nd my chance to see him(no im not repeating myself im talking about the guy i like). i was supossed to see him. it was really going to happen. weve been planning it since like the first time either one of us vrought up voodoo.
this sucks. my life sucks. hopefully itll grow out of this stage.

ok one last thing..nd then ill stop the torture of you people that hung in an read all of this.
why does it seem like everytime something good is happening, it all ends up crashing and burning?


2 /agree that love is life

Everybody should read "The Perils of Magnificent Love", as it sums all the meaning behind this comm. [29 Aug 2005|12:44am]

seeing as this is the loveislife community, i would like to reccommend the book "The Perils of Magnificent Love", about a young girl who falls in love with a three-eared bunny. it is one of the most beautiful books ive ever read; every illustration grabs at my heart like a kiss.

well... i miss my girlfriend mary ALOT right now...
which sucks because it's 12:46 and i dont want to wake her because she has waterpolo practice tomorrow. come to think of it, i have cross country practice tomorrow at 8 in the morning...
i dont wanna go to sleep. i need mary right now. i feel bad, lke in a premonition sort of way. like something bad is goin to happen. REALLY bad. and it scares me, and im worried if maybe it might have something to do with mary. i think it does. I MISS HER.
i wish she could sleep with me, so i could just fall asleep listening to her heartbeat. just drift off, holding her and keeping her beside me.
i was scared that she would leave me for a while, just because relationships and i have never worked out. so for a while, i was afraid to voice my feelings. now though i realize how much she loves me, and im trying to be more open. im really so emoional its frightening. people tell me im so secure with these thngs or that i always say the right things to make people feel better, but im really just trying to help people because it makes me happy.
i realize that i need mary and that im so in love with her. weve been going out for four months and 16 days (haha, does tha make me seem obsessed?) and it feels like weve only been together a few days, because every time i see her its like im seeing her for the first time again, every time i kiss her its like were kissing for the first time, so longing to be completed yet cautious and gentle and yet so passionate.
i feel... no, i KNOW this relationship will work. im tired of being alone, and now i wont be. which is crazy; im only 15. what do i know about what will happen other than my stupid premonitions and dreams? what do i know about how mary will feel in a year, or two, or when we graduate?
and i guess ive considered these things. i think about it all the time. but now, i think ive taken the craziest step: im trusting her with my whole heart. and this time, i KNOW it will work, even though every one of my past experiences tells me not to let any lover inside my heart. im crazy; im in love. but they go together, right? i want to make mary the happiest person alive; i want her to feel loved and warm, secure and just... safe. im my arms. isnt that what everybody wants, deep inside?
i could choose to beleive that tomorrow, something will be missing, and that suddenly shell realize she never loved me. i cold choose to beleive that well be together for a few years and then ill suddenly find out that she cheated on me. i could choose to beleive any of these pointless "what-ifs" and be scared forever, stuck in my shell of defense against the hurt people have caused me.
but i wont. because i KNOW that she loves me, god dammit. i KNOW that this is going to work. and with every word, every letter i type, eveery word i say to her sleeping mind in my body agsint the background of swan lake in the back i grow more and more sure about this, even more than i was before, and i know, i KNOW that love, which is so rare and yet everywhere all the time, LOVE, which caused the most beautiful, loving, caring girl to pick ME of all peeple in the world, ME to share at least a small part of my life with her, replaced the anger, the angst, the fear, the so plentiful and ever-present feelings of negativity for me, for my life.
i know that. i know it, whatever the hell "it" is.
its love. the perils of magnificent love are worth it, i guess. yes, they are. because now... its like some part that was missing... well.
im in love with you, mary stirchak.
4 /agree that love is life

[20 Aug 2005|03:52am]
just letting everyone know i got a new lj, my old lj was hollow_child

i'll update later (because i've got something to say for once)

~♥ Helli xoxo
love is life

[16 Aug 2005|12:27am]

hey sorry if this isn't allowed but i just thought i'd advertise my new community in the communities i'm co-maintainers of

i made this the community so please join

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

credit to the banner goes to x__velvetdesire
love is life

[11 Aug 2005|06:08pm]

[ mood | sore ]

for some reason no matter how mad i was at spazz for breaking up with spazz...i just dont hate him...i dont know why...i literally cant find it in me to hate him....its just strange...my friend Tori told me she thinks its cuz i may have possibily really fallen for him if you know what i mean. but yeah...she kept calling me crazy cuz i told her i dont hate him...he could come up to me and be like "do you hate me?" and id just say "nope". i havent talked to him at all since then....i may talk to him tomorrow cuz he has my hoodie and my moms being really bitchy and wants me to get it back, but she doesnt even know i was going out with him so she of course doesnt even know i went out with him...i guess we'll just see what happens. im going to my rockrebeltwin's(nickname me and my bestfriend have) house this weekend. im going home with her after skewl and not coming back til sunday so yeah. talk to all you peoples later. much ♥

love is life

[07 Aug 2005|09:56pm]

Why do boys never do what they say they will?

It's not a cool thing to do.

Or is it?
1 /agree that love is life

[07 Aug 2005|04:43pm]

[ mood | blank ]

life just oh so great aint it...read more...Collapse )

4 /agree that love is life

I have a problem. [07 Aug 2005|11:10am]

There is this guy..
We have dated three times now
On the fourth time as of last night
I have feelings for him
And I was the one that broke up with him all three times
And my parental units won't allow me to talk to him or see him
And they don't know we are dating
But anyways..
It's like...
I want to be with him when I'm not
But when I am I don't want to be with him.
like..I go into a depression until we aren't together again.
Does that make sense??
What should i do?
Cause I can't STAND breaking his heart
I just seem to be the best at it
And I KNOW how bad it hurts when you can't have the person you love
so like..I mean.
What should I do???
10 /agree that love is life

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