• hmhvv

just when i got my life back on track

Wrong-way Ford kills one

By Dan Ferguson
Mar 28 2007

Somehow, a 25-year-old Delta woman managed to miss the “do not enter” signs and drove a Ford Mustang onto Highway 99 in the wrong direction early Sunday morning.

The northbound Ford slammed into a southbound Kia Spectra killing the 37-year-old male passenger in the Mustang.

The crash happened about 4 a.m., just north of the Serpentine River.

The woman driving the Mustang, and the driver and lone occupant of the Kia, a Coquitlam resident, were both treated for serious but non-life-threatening injuries.

Police said alcohol may have been a factor in the crash.

I was in the Kia. Now after 1 month of gainful employment, after 1 year of being suicidally depressed, and on disability leave. its like all of a sudden through something out of my control, my carpet was taken out from under me.

i am truly cursed. woot for being cursed.

im still here

im still here. tho its been a while since i posted to this community. i actually forgot about itt and foundd myselff getting a bit happier.. but now i seem to be going backk to my oldd wayyss. i take so many pills noww that im almost always high - even in school- especially in school. because being there is just a waste of time to me. im failing all my courses because im almost always high, no one there seems to get what im saying when i try to explain how i feel,, tho its not like they even care because most people aroundd here only care abut themselves. its notlike i want anyone to care about me... thats the last thing i want because then i would become attached and feel even more guilty aboutt wanting to commit suicide. i dont know what happened for me to go back to the hurt and depression. now its like i want nothing more than to be alone so if there ever is a time when the urges to commit get too strong i wont hve a worry i can just follow through. is it normal to go backk to hatig and unappreciating myself when for a few weeks i thought i was getting better??? helpp.
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    everything - fefe dobson
  • rdlght

What would you do?

What would you do?

Sugar and spice and everything nice.

This is suppose to every little girls life.

What happens when life is not like that?

What if your life is filled with constant abuse by the people who suppose to protect you?

For little Katelynn of Indiana, her life is filled with this from a father, stepmother and father's family; everyone but her the relatives that love her have been deined the ability to see her.

What happens when the police will not stop this?

Than try Child Protection Service, but they will not stop this either.

The next thing to do is go to the court.

What would you do if the Child Protection Services and the court helped the abusers hurt her?

The media might work but they ignore majority of average people.

In this search for help, several politicians ignored or said stop bothering them.

If these people will not help little katelynn than who will?

Will this little girl have to pay the ultimate price for these adults mistakes?

Now, what will you do?!

This is Indiana's Shame and these are Teardrops for Katelynn

referral sources:


Mary Kay Ash Charitable Foundation :: Breaking the Silence: Children's Stories Aired on PBS http://www.mkacf.org/BreakTheSilence.html

Breaking the Silence

Battered Women, Abused Children, and Child Custody: A NATIONAL CRISIS

Petition for Justice for Katelynn:

Don't let these little abused children be abused in silence anymore, please.

Tell someone!

Demand answers!

Demand the children's truth!

Above all break through this silence for theses abused childrens sake!

No adults rights is greater than the right of the child to be safe!

****Please don't forget us!**********

(no subject)

Dear cousin Jenny has been "living" with us for a few months now.
Jeez I love her so much.
I wish she had moved in earlier.

Oh give me a fucking break! Like I would honestly say that. Ever since she "moved-in" shes been driving me out of my mind.Shes fucked up so many times.If she crosses me the wrong way I swear there will be hell to pay. Yea, its that bad.

I cant count her amount of fuck-ups that shes managed in such a short period of time. When I try to tell my parents about the small fuck-ups, like taking my stuff without permission and doing things out of order, Dad shrugs me off and acts like its nothing. Mom acknowledges these problems and tries to help me cope. But I cant lie to myself and act like I like her. Instead I simply point out the tension to her and once in a blue moon act nice.

I hate this....
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    pissed off pissed off
cray pas

kimya dawson

hi. i posted about a week ago feeling like shit. i still am having a hard time but i'm getting through it, which is all i can really ask for i guess.
this might seem weird, and i hope its okay with the moderator, but this past year i discovered a musician who makes me feel a lot less alone. some of you may have heard of her. her name is kimya dawson and her music is an alternative/folk/punk sound which is quite unique, but her lyrics are so inspiring. She sings, from experience about pain, trauma, being different, falling apart, and surviving it... she still has her lows as we all do, but i felt like i should share her with others who feel lost and alone, because that is who she sings for...so anyway, i am going to put a link to her myspace. if you dont wanna check her out thats fine, but i encourage you to, especially if you feel alone.

anyway. i wanted to say to you all... hold on, take it a millesecond at a time if you have to.  i'm here if anyone wants to write me, i will listen. i'm just a computer away. plus, i need you as much as you might need me... sometimes strangers are best listeners, and who knows, maybe we'll make a friendship out of it.

stay well, Jymi
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I am really not sure what i came here for.. maybe to help me realize i am not the only one out there falling apart. it doesn't seem like anything is real and its all a blur. Maybe that is why i hurt myself more and more. To make sure i haven't died and not know about it. it just seems stupid and ridiculous  to keep trying to make things good and it seems that me being happy happens once a year. Idk..

go read my live journal if u want to know more.. if u need someone to help u ive been told that i have a very good  pair of ears..well in this case eyes.. point is im here for anyone who feels like me.
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    blah blah
  • hmhvv


the last time i felt this way was during canadian thanksgiving weekend. where i was so happy and blissful i wasn't preparing myself for the holidays, and as a result when the holiday hit, i hit rock bottom., but then i changed shrinks, and got a bunch of stuff done on my long term to do list. and this sense of accomplishment along with new meds and a new shrink (with a different point of view) helped me back up.

but this time i'm not sure i can do anything about it. iwas commiting myself to a small project of building some chainmail armor for sin city new years eve. but then i have been running into some loneliness and insomnia from the new holiday season again. only this time i haven't had the time to go out and field some contemplative time alone.

i lost steam for this project because i am finally accepting the pain that another friend of mine is going through. he and his brother are victims of child abuse. nothing so physically visible as hitting. its all verbal abuse. imagine getting yelled at for 1 hr a day for 13 years, as your mother the school teacher drives you to school in the morning. and then since he got mugged, his mother has been telling his girlfriend to dump him cause he is a loser multiple times a day. telling all his friends that she wants him to get his life back on track, only to find out later that she really meant to say "stay away from my son you faggot" (not just to me but to all his friends in the past).

i know they haven't done anything cause everything in life needs courage to do and he nor his brother have the courage to speak up against their abusers.

my excuse is, all my own problems in my own life seem so daunting that i can barely survive the trip of discovery on how to deal with something this terrible.

maybe i'll just give my new years eve ticket away. and just focus on making chainmail for money. and get past this season. my shrink was using an exmaple to prove a point to me, when he pointed out the example i felt like it was actually feasible. hitting myself in the head with a hammer. since that day i have been getting curious for this idea.

its like the millions of other scenarios i have thought up over some 12 years of severe depression. woot for depression.

yeah my shrink says that one of the side effects of my meds is that it is an upper, so it might be good to take it after i wake up in the morning. but since i started it i've been taking it before i goto sleep. and i sleep well. but with my new insomnia, i am tempted to switch back to the before sleep way. for the past 3 days I have been trying to go to sleep, and it takes close to 3 hours to get to sleep only to have some of the most wonderful dreams i have had in a while, but at last sleep is short lived, and i am awake after some 3 hours once again.

lucky for me these few days have been super busy. so i don't have to languish in my own mind.

(no subject)

I'm scared.

I'm falling apart.

I can't do this anymore.

I'm scared that if I continue all I will cause is pain. I am so sad, too sad to be angry, too lonely, too jealous, too goddamn unloveable.

Why did I have to turn out this way.


What worse fate is there?