Hey,I'm Riley & this is my story...
Aaron & I met on November 3, 2004. I went into an AIM chatroom that day because I was bored, & upset over something someone in my family had said, so I was looking for someone to talk to. The next thing I knew, there was an IM from d****** b******. We began talking & from that night, in a way, I knew I wanted something more than a friendship with him. Well, I stopped using AIM for a day or two & then came back online, IMed him, & gave him my e-mail address for MSN and we began talking even more from there.
Things went well between us as friends, but I wanted more, & for some reason.. I thought he did, too. Then, things started to go completely wrong in MY life, & I've been suffering with depression since I was about 9 or 10. Well, he knew that & at the time he seemd okay with it, & he seemed to love me despite the fact that no matter how much I loved him... I was still upset because of invisible disease. (Depression)
November 7, 2004 came, & he signed on somewhat late at night.. & we started talking & out of nowhere I put "Will you go out with me, Aaron?" in my profile (backwards), & he said "I'll pretend I didn't read that" & then he asked the same thing & I said yes. Then things really got bad.. my parents & I were really getting into fights & I couldn't handle it.. so, I attempted suicide a couple of times, & my best friend Jessica Anne was always around to inform him what was going on. When she told me about it, it made me feel good & loved. I was hit by a car one day just before school & was put in the hospital, even.
Overall, our relationship as Aaron & Riley was fine. WE loved each other (or so I thought), and we even told each other things I didn't think was possible to tell someone after the short amount of time we were together. We looked at baby names together, began picking WEDDiNG DATES, even. I had the time of my life with this boy. Anyway, Christmas came, and then the day after, his 18th birthday. I was forced to go with my parents somewhere on his birthday, and I grabbed his phone number & took it with me hoping I could get a chance to call, but each time I did, I got caught & got in trouble for trying to call to wish my BOYFRIEND a happy birthday. Well, he spends every other week at his Dad's, & eventually, from mocing, I lost that phone number, so when he came back one week & signed on MSN, I called him at his Mom's house. We talked, & I fell more in love with him than I thought even P O S S i B L E, then.. two weeks later.. he signs on MSN.. with this pissy MSN name & I didn't think it was directed at me.. so I left him alone anyway. He messages me, and we start talking.. & he eventually tells me 'I met someone'. Wow... it hurt. More than anyone could ever imagine. I wanted to just drop dead there & I swear, my heart sunk so low into my stomach, so fast, and it hit the bottom so hard... I cried... and cried... and cried.
A couple weeks went by, and I tried staying off of MSN so I could try to forget about him, but no luck. I love this man, I want to talk to him & be with him... but he goes & cheats on me.. So then he gets me on the phone again eventually, & tells me how he didn't think I really loved him. Um, HELLO? Whatever. (If you want love, add me to your LJ friends list & I'll add you back, & you can tell me how much I love him..) That pissed me off to no end, so after we hung up, I cried myself to sleep... just like I've been doing since he told me he met someone...
Now... I don't know what to do. He's hiding something from me. I said I love you to him tonight on the phone & he refused to say it back, yet, I say it on MSN, and he'll say it back & I asked him why he loves me & he said the same thing he always used to say.. What's he trying to do?? Is he trying to hurt me, or is he giving me some kind of hint.. or what?
broken ♥ Riley B.