(no subject)

Ok everyone, here is step two:

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Note how I have now added in more detail and begun to play with contrasting colors and texture.

Step three is tomorrow, keep up your good work guys!
horse

Loaf vs. Dam View Redux

Stooping to gather Andy's crumpled dummy-ish body, I realized with a cold fury that something must be done. All roller riders had to be destroyed. The Andy Dummy turned suddenly into a spaceship with a co-pilot Jake Gobbi already included, triscuit head and all, and I quickly hopped in and fired it up.

I flew the the nearest Frito-Lay factory and traded my proofs of purchase for some Ploids. Since I had 5,943,234,945 Ploids, I was able to receive the ultimate prize which was a sword named Bane of the Dam View. I had one Ploid left over and I bought a Bazooka Joe, and the joke was something like "A kitten in the grave is good luck" or something similarly stupid.

I made a mighty fine sight, standing on a cliff edge, with my giant meaty face rippling in the wind, my massive jaw slowly chewing the rock hard Bazooka Joe gum like it was some sort of chew toy shaped like a triangle. I held the sword aloft above my head in a threatening manner at the giant spire that the Dam View rested on, even though I was on the other side of the world and they couldn't see me. I knew they were scared. I placed a Skip-It around my giant ham like ankle and started towards the other side of the world.

Three ham sandwiches later, I was there.

I decided to be sneaky. I would sneak into the structure via the conveyor that was sending roller riders down into the surrounding towns for shipment and enjoyment. There was an occasional segway, and I even saw one of those things that you need to pump to keep it going, but give you heart attacks, and the little kids in the commercials always looked so frightened.

I hopped onto one of the roller riders and scootboarded my way furiously up the conveyor, dodging all sorts of transportational ilk. Hours later, I had finally scootboarded my way 20 feet down the conveyor (roller riders aren't that energy efficient).

The room I entered next was by no means anything I had seen before. Gamecubes were moving up and down, acting as smaller limbs of a giant machine. The bulk of the machine seemed to be powered by an X-Box, and the energy core was a PS2.

"Dreamcast is the correct choice!" I bellowed as I dodged the Gamecubes, climbed the X-Box, and jammed the Dreamcast into the space with the PS2. The systems battled for a few minutes, as if either one was reluctant to let the other occupy the energy core chamber. Luckily, the Dreamcast won out in the end, and the entire machine was turned into a Dreamcast creating factory. Roller Riders turned into Dreamcasts, segways turned into stacks of assorted games and memory cards, and the pump heart-attack machine turned into the gun that you use to play House of the Dead. The room I was in was filled with a holy light. I knew there was more evil to fight however.

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(no subject)

Alright guys, here is step one to drawing the friggen best dragon ever.

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This is just the outline mind you, so get going on this step!

Step two comes tomorrow! Also, when you have finished your dragons, I would like to see some! POST THEM!

(no subject)

so ea i want to make this blog have weekly columns. plz start your own on a regualr basis. i know one that will be posted 2moroish will be: Sporatic Interveiws with Sporatic Employees. i allready interveiwed the Saturday night Crew, aka mell, nick, sarah and myself. i will continue untill i have a profile of every loaf employee. 2moro i will get tim, sklig, adn John. i will post these profiles on Mondays and wednesdays until i run out of ppl. Mel is supposed to be doing a fantasy art how to intructional column also every week. anyone else have any idea. please send letters to the editor so i can totally make fun of you.


horse

(no subject)

So today at the Loaf, I was serving some customers soup when suddenly a rumbling was heard from the Dam View. I payed no heed to the noises issuing from the bowels of the restaurant, thinking merely that the new bar was being installed.

Andy walked over to offer the workers a cup of sugar, or some rectangles or something to cool them off. As he boldly stepped forth into the Dam View, the darkness enveloped him almost as if the darkness were a thick black mist. Peering harder I realized that no gaze could penetrate the evil darkness within the mighty evil edifice that stood next to the Loaf and Ladle.

With a sudden blast, Andy was thrown backwards from the entrance, and hit the side of a mighty volcanic spire that had risen from the earth with a mighty belch. Luckily, it was an Andy dummy, and hit the wall harmlessly with only a mere, "AaaaUaaaaUaaaaUaaaa!"

Lava was quickly issuing forth and immense amounts of steam were erupting from where the hot viscuous magma touched the waters of the majestic Squamscott River. Panicked, I ran into the basement to gather Nick who was baking Savory Deviate Delights, and Alex who was about to win Expert on Minesweeper. They had already used the teleportation device to leave, but a stray cigarette had landed on the control panel and burned away the "TELEPORT BUTTON". There was a shiny star that led to Lavos, but I am not like level 75 yet, fuck that.

When I went to head back upstairs, I noticed that instead of the walk-in, there was a Strange Glowing Door that was issuing holy light. A shadowy figure appeared and offered me a mighty weapon of inconceivable power. "Only you, Matthew, may weild this mighty weapon", it said, only it used thought speak, I think it was an Andalite. But anyway, I can't describe the weapon because it would destroy your feeble human mind. The closest thing you could think of would be a cruise ship pulled by flaming dolphins.

By the time I made my way back upstairs, everything had changed. People who were once happy citizens were now enslaved and mindless, under the control of some dread evil. The lands had been pillaged and blasted, and not a scrap of green or anything living peacefully remained. Fire and noxious gasses erupted from cracks in the ground, and strange skeletal horses and birds were everywhere. And at the center of all the hellish nonsense was the Dam View, which now rested on a mighty spire, facing out on all the lands. A laser of judgement was occasionally sent out to smite entire villages who were rebelling.

I could feel the aura of evil surrounding the place. But I knew whoever was in there was dazzled by my power and terrified by my tenacity and perserverance.

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So today at the Loaf, I was serving some customers soup when suddenly a rumbling was heard from the Dam View. I payed no heed to the noises issuing from the bowels of the restaurant, thinking merely that the new bar was being installed.

Andy walked over to offer the workers a cup of sugar, or some rectangles or something to cool them off. As he boldly stepped forth into the Dam View, the darkness enveloped him almost as if the darkness were a thick black mist. Peering harder I realized that no gaze could penetrate the evil darkness within the mighty evil edifice that stood next to the Loaf and Ladle.

With a sudden blast, Andy was thrown backwards from the entrance, and hit the side of a mighty volcanic spire that had risen from the earth with a mighty belch. Luckily, it was an Andy dummy, and hit the wall harmlessly with only a mere, "AaaaUaaaaUaaaaUaaaa!"

Lava was quickly issuing forth and immense amounts of steam were erupting from where the hot viscuous magma touched the waters of the majestic Squamscott River. Panicked, I ran into the basement to gather Nick who was baking Savory Deviate Delights, and Alex who was about to win Expert on Minesweeper. They had already used the teleportation device to leave, but a stray cigarette had landed on the control panel and burned away the "TELEPORT BUTTON". There was a shiny star that led to Lavos, but I am not like level 75 yet, fuck that.

When I went to head back upstairs, I noticed that instead of the walk-in, there was a Strange Glowing Door that was issuing holy light. A shadowy figure appeared and offered me a mighty weapon of inconceivable power. "Only you, Matthew, may weild this mighty weapon", it said, only it used thought speak, I think it was an Andalite. But anyway, I can't describe the weapon because it would destroy your feeble human mind. The closest thing you could think of would be a cruise ship pulled by flaming dolphins.

By the time I made my way back upstairs, everything had changed. People who were once happy citizens were now enslaved and mindless, under the control of some dread evil. The lands had been pillaged and blasted, and not a scrap of green or anything living peacefully remained. Fire and noxious gasses erupted from cracks in the ground, and strange skeletal horses and birds were everywhere. And at the center of all the hellish nonsense was the Dam View, which now rested on a mighty spire, facing out on all the lands. A laser of judgement was occasionally sent out to smite entire villages who were rebelling.

I could feel the aura of evil surrounding the place. But I knew whoever was in there was dazzled by my power and terrified by my tenacity and perserverance.

<To be continued...>

(no subject)

Oh man, I was in the walk in the other day when like, I hear some high pitched Giggles. I looked around only to find nothing. So I got a little scared and kept looking for my prep work.

So then I heard the giggleing again. This time I knew something was up. I looked again, and suddenly I was jumped by like 100 cucumbers! They were all like:

"OMFG NO JUST DIDNT!" And began shooting me with small lazor guns. And I finally knew why I could never find Cucmbers in the morning. They were alive and banded together in the little motor thing that keeps the walk in cold.

So I was all like. "Fuck you n00bs! You need to get your cuke azzes into that crate!!" So I pulled out my staf and cast a stun spell on them all and with my super speet gathered them up and put them on the lift.

So when I got to the top, they were comming to. I panicked not knowing if I would be able to keep them stunned long enough to cut. So Then Tim came along and used his super sonic voice and then they all exploded.

"I Think I used too much power." Said Tim.

So thats basicly why we never have any cucumbers.
  • Current Mood
    cold cold

(no subject)

i was peeling some potatoes with tim when matt, in child form- about 7 years old, wearing a white tank top with koolaid stains on his shirt and upper lip- came running into the room.

he tried to push tim over, but since he had sap stuck to his hands he just stuck to tim. tim tried to pull away and gouged his thumb with the peeler, blood everywhere.

i soon cast the correct spell and matt snapped out of it.
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    ben folds- bitches aint shit

Knights of Loaf and Ladle, part 1.

King Andy had just bestowed upon me Knighthood and with it, the responsibiltiy of slaying enemies of the loaf and washing its dishes. He gave me the task of slaying the (lvl 57 elite) dire rats in our kingdoms basement. I knew I would need more help before attempting this one.

[General][Mehl]: i fell in the lava from AH lag. LOLz!!!1
[General][Darel]: try going in the kitchen in Ladle Forge on AOL 3.0....*computer explodes*
Darel has gone offline.
[Looking for Group][Baruce]: LFG for Slay Rats in Basement(dungeon).
[Mehl] whispers: Invite PLZZZZZ
Mehl has joined you party.
[Convege] whispers: lvl 9 tauren druid with same questZZorzZ.
Converge has joined your party.

I thought two would be enough....

.... I thought wrong.


We all entered the dungeon as we desended the stairs. Far off in the distance we saw the instance portal. Then came a noise no one wants to hear. In a annoying gurglely voice, "MWWRR ur RRR GRRRRR DARRRRRRRR," was yelled. Translated it ment "Kill that handsome brave super swave knight named baruce and what the hell kill his firends too." But that didn't really matter. The only thing that really mattered was how we were going to get to that instance portal through the increasing mob of Murlocs now in our way....

-+- To Be Continued -+-
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    Unholy Warcry by Rhapsody