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Lie To Me

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[19 Jun 2005|06:15pm]

I quietly take hold of Willow's hand and squeeze it slightly, trying to comfort her in some way. As she turns her head to look at me I start to speak.

"Maybe we should go and see how Buffy is."

Willow just nods and then stands up as we walk towards Buffy's room. I'm not even sure if the others are following us as I'm that lost in Willow. The rest of the world just seems to disappear whenever I'm around her.

As we reach the room I slowly open the door to see Buffy awake and talking to her Mom. They both look towards us and smile, almost in relief.

{{Open to Buffy, Cordy, Giles, Joyce, Xander, Wesley and Willow}}
8 Lies| Lie To Me

[04 Jun 2005|03:55pm]

[ mood | scared ]

Everything was black, but I heard this weird beeping sound. Beep Beep Beep, over and over again in perfect rhythm. I opened my eyes and squinted at the brightness of the room and I moaned. I felt achy and stiff all over, like I'd been sleeping for years.

I tried to move my arm, but there was something attached to it restricting my movement. I opened my eyes completely now and lifted my head. There were tubes with blood in them and machines all around me.

"Hospital...hospital," I muttered as I was quickly becoming fully conscious now. I sat up and cringed at the excruciating pain, but ripped the tubes out despite that. The machines got louder, alerting the doctors that I suddenly had no pulse. I didn't care. I just had to get out of there.

(open to Joyce)

6 Lies| Lie To Me

[24 May 2005|11:36am]

[ mood | worried ]

I sighed and removed my glasses to clean the lenses..it was the one thing I was certain I couldn't do wrong.

"If you would like I shall go hunt down a doctor."

I suggested, though I didn't wait for an answer. I went in search of a doctor of some sort to tell me something other than a doctor will be out to speak to us later.

I finally found one after about 20 minutes and talking to about 6 different nurses. I led him back to Mrs Summers where he began to explain the extent of her injuries.

The Doctor explained that Buffy was on transfusions and they stiched where the stake was. They also had many questions about how this happened. I told a quick she must have been mugged lie. I couldn't allow Joyce to tell the doctor the truth. She seemed as if she already had an idea, but I was not about to be the one that told her if she didn't.

"How long will she need to stay?" I finally asked. The doctor said she wasn't sure, that she would do some tests once Buffy had rested. I suppose that is a good plan, it only served to worry Joyce all the more though.

"Should one of us call Xander or Cordelia?" I suggested just as Xander came running in Cordelia in tow. "Or not"

"What happened? Did dead boy do this?" Xander exclaimed as he rushed in. "Where is he, I will go kill him myself."

[[open for Cordelia, Xander, Willow, Oz, Joyce, Wesley]]

48 Lies| Lie To Me

[21 May 2005|07:27pm]

[ mood | worried ]

"We have to go. Sunnydale Memorial."

On hearing those words my mind goes into automatic. I check my pocket to make sure I have my keys, open the front door, and head to the van. Willow follows quickly, not saying another word but I can tell it's bad and not just the normal Sunnydale Memorial bad.

The squeal of my tyres far behind us now I drive as fast as I think I can get away with if I get stopped by the police. I don't see anything around me, just the road ahead. I'm not even sure if Willow speaks to me or not, not sure if I'd even want to.

Arriving at our destination, we both hurry in, with me still not sure what we're walking into, but the look on Willow's face tells me everything I need to know, and everything that I don't want to.

[[Open for Willow, Giles, Joyce and Wesley]]

18 Lies| Lie To Me

[16 May 2005|07:01pm]

[ mood | anxious ]

"Don't worry, Cor, I will never take you there again."

I said as I kissed her passionatly. I wanted so much more, but I also just wanted to spend time with her. I may be turning into a woman as I say this, but I like just holding her. I wasn't about to say that to her, well atleast not right now, mostly because little Xander was at full salute. All I could think about right now was how much I wanted to make love to her again.


I said softly as I leaned in and kissed her passionatly my tongue parting her lips and sliding into her mouth swirling around tasting and feeling her warm, sensual mouth. I couldn't get over how amazing this woman tasted, how amazing she felt against me. I wanted nothing more than to feel her skin against mine, her warmth around my rock hard erection. I needed her more now than ever before.

The only thing that put a damper on this was the thought that when her parents came home I had to go back to my parents house. I didn't want to go back into what we saw tonight, I didn't want to lose the feeling of having her in my arms, that was when something came to me. I pulled back from the kiss and looked her in the eyes.

"I am going to get a place of my own..which means I need to get a job. I can't go back to that house, I can't go back there knowing I can't invite you over, knowing that they may call you names that clearly aren't true. You are the first good thing to happen in my life and I refuse to let you go."

I declared this as I still held her and caressed her sexy body.

[[open to my amazing Cordelia]]

63 Lies| Lie To Me

[15 May 2005|04:20pm]

[ mood | scared ]

I was still fuming from the incident with Wesley when I received a note that I was to meet with Snyder in the morning. I knew that this was most likely going to be yet one more of his meetings where he tells me the importance on keeping tabs on the children and how they are evil and God only knows what else. I decided that if I was to be in his office early in the morning I should now leave the library to get some rest.

I didn't get much rest though, I spent the whole night wishing that Jenny was by my side and in my arms. Instead she was at home and probably working on that blasted curse that had brought us to the place we currently were. I decided to do some research of my own most of the night, longing to find a better way to curse Angelus, one that won't allow him to lose said soul. I don't wish to be in this posistion again.

I didn't realize what time it was until my alarm clock sounded. It was 5 am and I needed to begin to prepare for the meeting with Snyder so I pushed the books away and made myself as ready as I could be for such a meeting. When I arrived to the school finally at 7 am Snyder was waiting standing at his office door.

As I had expected he wanted to give me the daily speech on how I am coddling the students and that Buffy Summers was a hoodlum, and who knows what else. I managed to tune him out about half an hour into the meeting. When he was finally finished the bell for the 8 am classes sounded. He was about to further lecture me when he noticed a student that he needed to 'talk' to so I quietly excused myself and made my way back to the library.

I found myself momentarily distracted as I stood outside Jenny's classroom door and watched her teach. She is simply elegant when she lectures to the children, though I detest computers she almost makes me wish to know more, that is a talented woman indeed.

I finally made it back to the library about 9:15 am and to my horror I opened the book cage to find Buffy bleeing to death. I was in a state of shock and could not will myself to move. Finally I find my strength and get her untied attempting to ascertain whether she was even alive.

"Oh Dear Lord"

I said as I moved to call 911. I couldn't do this on my own. The stake in her chest was almost enough to send me over the deep end. I was not losing her, I couldn't lose her, I refuse to lose this amazing young woman.

[[open to Wesley and Buffy]]

21 Lies| Lie To Me

[15 May 2005|03:37pm]

[ mood | contemplative ]

For the first time ever I missed school not that I wanted to, not that I had any other choice. I didn't think that it would be of the good to miss class, but when we got back to the house and I got comfortable with Oz, it all worked out. What happened next was..well it was amazing. Oz and I made love...and you know what...it felt amazing. I worried it would hurt, that it would be a big mistake, yet it felt amazing. I am just happy that I don't feel like I am Angelus' anymore. I allowed myself to relax with Oz and even rest the rest of the day and all night. I found myself actually looking forward to tomorrow, to living life and that is when I realized that Oz was the big reason for that.

I slowly allowed myself to wake up, my eyes fluttering open finding Oz still holding me tight. A smile played across my face as I watched him for a moment, then I managed to wiggle my way out of his grip. I placed a small kiss on his cheek and whispered softly that I would be back. Quietly making my way out of the room I slowly and somewhat awkwardly walked to the bathroom where I took a nice long hot shower which felt amazing.

Once I was clean I climbed out and wrapped a soft towel around me to head back to the bedroom where Oz was still sleeping soundly. I couldn't help but smile at that, he seemed so at peace, and like he felt comfortable where he was. I didn't want to disturb that so carefully and quietly I got dressed and sat down to do my hair. This was a new day, a new day where I didn't feel so horrible and dirty. I didn't know if it would last, but I wasn't going to question it right now.

I was contemplating this as I slowly braided my hair in pigtail french braids when I heard someone stir behind me. I smiled and didn't move, I knew who it was so I continued with what I was doing, but I did speak quietly. "Morning" I said softly yet somewhat happily. I was ready to face the day, and I wanted him at my side.

[[open for Oz]]

26 Lies| Lie To Me

[15 May 2005|12:52pm]

I waited for Darla to change, then I tied up Buffy, stake still by her heart, and we brought her through the tunnels since it was daylight. We had drank so much of her, she was losing a whole lot of blood. That's good, my clothes were staying cleaner.

This was so much fun. I couldn't wait to put her in that book cage, and just the looks on everyone's face when they see her, when they find out what I did to her. If only I could be invisible so I could watch. If only sunlight weren't one of my fatal enemies.

We finally got to the school, and it was early still, the school quiet as everyone was in class and probably sleeping because of boring lectures. I so hate teachers. Maybe we could check the teacher's lounge before we left and drain one, that would be fun.

We snuck up through the basement, and then into the library, quick as the night. No one saw us, of course. And no one was in the library at the moment, shocker upon shocker. But this is good. Gives us more time to set her up just right.

I sniffed the air. "Smell those dusty old books. None of which will help them defeat us. This is what victory tastes like Darla. Don't you just love it, baby?" I said, then waited for her to open the cage. I tossed Buffy in, not going to start being gentle now. How pathetic she looked. If she died, she deserved it.

Oh well. So much for the slayer getting Darla or me. She failed grandly, and everyone was going to know it shortly. I grabbed Darla and kissed her. "Come on, we have others to terrorize, unless you want to stay around and watch the discovery."

With that, we left the same way we came. It's too pretty of a day to just wait in the shadows for Buffy to be discovered. There's other scoobies out there to get to, maybe even a certain slayer's mother. That might be fun.

[open to Darla]
33 Lies| Lie To Me

[11 May 2005|11:13pm]

[ mood | worried ]

"That was-wow", I said to Xander, still out of breath.

This was my first sexual experience and the best.

I turned to my side and caressed his face. "I love you Xander."

"Next time, I think it would be a good idea to use a condom. I mean, I'm on the pill, but we've got to be careful", I said seriously. "Besides, this body is not ready for baking any cupcakes!", I said laughing.

I didn't want to put a damper on the moment, but we both need to be hit with the reality of risks.

"Hey", I said softly. "It's ok. It was perfect."

We are so doing this again. Oh yeah.

[[open to my Xander]]

52 Lies| Lie To Me

[09 May 2005|10:11am]

My black goddess always had something wicked planned. All those stars dancing round in that lovely little head of hers. Crazy bint she was but she was all mine. We were forever and not even Angelus would get in the way. If he tired I would get rid of him, wouldn’t bother me much if I had to. ‘sides he knew nothing ‘bout the way Dru and I were now. Sure back in the day he came all up in there trying to sweep Dru from me every chance he had. Said something ‘bout us vampires being able to do whatever we pleased and it didn’t work the way I wanted it to. Please, like he knew now. Dru and I have been going strong while he was playing nice with the little slayer and her friends. Of course now he wanted it all back, all that he had before. But I wouldn’t forget where he was and what he had been doing couldn’t even kill the damn slayer. Instead he would just play games with her and taunt her. Dru and I would get rid of her, already got rid of two slayers myself.

“Don’t worry luv” I said tightening my grip around her waist and pull her closer against me. My lips lightly trailed over her face as I spoke “I’ll make sure you have your fun with her” I slide my tongue along her cheek and it reaches her ear.

“Her world made dark, such a beautiful ending to her tail.” I whispered into her ear “Of course she’ll scream for it to be dark before we’re done.” I smirked then jerked Dru’s body so her face meets up with mine and collide my lips with hers. My tongue darted out between my lips and parted it’s way inside her deadly mouth. I could just taste the darkness we shared and the passion we shared. Nothing would take us apart.

[tag Dru]
5 Lies| Lie To Me

[04 May 2005|03:07pm]

[ mood | creative ]

I was so happy to be here with her. Cordelia knew everything about me, knew what my family was like and she was still by my side, I have to say that I am quite the lucky guy. I think Willow wouldn't agree, hell none of them understand why I love Cordelia so much. I don't think they will ever understand how wonderful she is, and why I refuse to choose.

I thought about all of this as I cooked our dinner. I hoped that she liked what I was making, I couldn't remember, but I had one meal that I was best at making. Steak, salad, baked potatos and for desert I cheated and bought a chocolate cake like thing. I think that I had all my bases covered, all I had to do was set it out.

Rosa had been a big help setting everything up and telling me that Cordy didn't like her meat rare. I knew that I had to have this just perfect. I wanted her to remember this night, as well as know that this wasn't a complex effort to get laid. I mean don't get me wrong, I do want her, I want to make love to her all night long, but I know she isn't ready so I won't push. For now I just focus on dinner and the gorgeous woman I love more than anything.

[[My amazing gorgeous Cordy]]

60 Lies| Lie To Me

[27 Apr 2005|11:15pm]

[ mood | happy ]

All morning, all I thought about was Xander. No thoughts of Angelus and my nightmare. Xander came through for me. It took me by suprise. I wanted him so bad last night. We both came so close, to actually having sex. I just wasn't ready last night. I love him. I know that for sure. I smile myself, looking at the clock. It's almost 12. I'm leaving school early, with Xander. We have a lot of things to talk about. Plus, he's making me dinner tonight! Xander Harris. Cooking. I've got to see this, with my own eyes.

My thoughts were so caught up, I realized the bell rang. Well, time to go meet my boyfriend out by my car. We haven't seen each other all morning. I was excited to see him. I'm really turning into a new person! This is new to me.

I see him leaning on my car. I couldn't help but smile at him.

"Hey, sexy. Waiting for someone special?", I say laughing.

[[open for my lovely Xander]]

26 Lies| Lie To Me

Ahh the pleasure [24 Apr 2005|12:27am]

[ mood | pleased ]

Location - Cordelia Chase's room. Time - last night.

This whole night was beyond amazing. I couldn't believe that this all was happening. Cordelia and I had never gone past kissing and caressing, you know the heavy making out that can be done in a broom closet here and there. Tonight she let me do things that I had only dreamed of. I could tell that she had some worry that I had done this with someone else, but I have never wanted a woman as much as I have wanted Cordelia.

Semi Graphic.Collapse )
I wished that I was doing this for real, but this was as real as it was going to get because I refused to push her into anything sooner than she was ready. My body was still humming in pleasure I slowly allowed the water to now rush over me and clense me of all evidance that I had just done what I had done. I know she didn't want me to, but I had no choice, I didn't want her to hear my moans of pain later if I hadn't, she doesn't deserve that either.

When I was finally clean I turned the shower off and dried off slowly sliding my boxers back on my now clean and pleased body and walked out to find her laying comfortably on the bed waiting for me. I loved the way she looked comfortable on the bed, like an angel, a perfect angel who needed my arms around her.

"Sorry that took me so long."

I said softly as I walked over to her and laid down taking her into my arms kissing and carresing her body once again. I prayed she had no clue what I had done, I didn't want her offended by what I had done.

[[open for my amazingly gorgeous Cordy]]

22 Lies| Lie To Me

The Night Before [19 Apr 2005|12:22am]

[ mood | scared ]

After Xander dropped me off, I said my goodnights to mom and dad and headed straight to my bedroom. I knew I was safe here. I took a shower and put on my silk red mid-thigh nightgown. I laid down in bed and tried my hardest to sleep.


Angelus snuck up behind me at The Bronze flirting with me and whispering in my ear. He made me shiver as his cold breath hit my ear.

"You know I'm right. You know you're the expendable one of the group. After all, when Xander finds out what I did to his precious Willow...the last thing on his mind will be you." God, he was so right. He knew! How? "I don't have to get you now, Cordelia, I can get you anytime, anywhere. I'm not afraid of Buffy or any of her gang. I will pick you off one by one until she's the only left and then I'll torture and kill her. And you won't know if I'll get you next, or if you'll be the last."

"I'm not expendable", I snap at Angelus.

"I don't have to get you now, Cordelia, I can get you anytime, anywhere. I'm not afraid of Buffy or any of her gang. I will pick you off one by one until she's the only left and then I'll torture and kill her. And you won't know if I'll get you next, or if you'll be the last."

I'm sacred and alone. No one's here to help me.

"Get out of here, Cordelia, run for your life. And tell Xander, when you see him, that I got there first with Willow, and she was so very ripe and tight, it felt good ripping her cherry open. Maybe I'll pop yours next, if you still have one."

I start running. I'm not going anywhere. Wherever I ran, however I run, I turn and Angelus is always there. I can't get away from him. I keep running. Running as fast as I can. Just when I think I'm out of his reach, he appears in front of me, throws me up against the hard cold wall of the building, and sinks his fangs into my neck

---end dream

I wake up in a cold sweat. I look around frantically. It was just a dream, Cordy. I'm breathing heavily now. I look over at the clock. It's only 11pm. I've only been asleep for a half and hour?

There is no way, I'll be able to get any sleep tonight. I want to call him. I want him to be here with me. Holding me. Protecting me.

I reach over and pick up my phone.

I hope Xander's up right now.

[[open for Xander]]

46 Lies| Lie To Me

[11 Apr 2005|08:38pm]

[ mood | calm ]

He was kissing along my bra line and it actually felt good. His kiss, his touch was calming. "Oh Oz" I moan out as his hands caress my body. I just wanted this moment to last to make the bad melt away, as it already was.

I reached down and began to undo his pants I want him to do the same, but I don't know what he is going to do. I can't have all the answers up front, I need to let this happen moment by moment. I felt better already just by his soft touch and not having chains involved. This was so much better, in so many ways.

35 Lies| Lie To Me

[10 Apr 2005|10:04pm]

I turn back towards Willow on hearing her speak. I want to speak, but can't find my voice so walk back across to the bed and hug her letting her know that I want to stay with her. I know that she'll never be the same after what Angelus did to her, but she's still Willow.

"I love you Willow. I ... I'm sorry." I whisper to her softly, wanting to tell her so much more, but hoping she realises the depth of my feelings for her.

I lay back down beside her, still not speaking, just holding her close to me. Wondering if she truly believes that she can never get back anything of who she was before.
58 Lies| Lie To Me

[07 Apr 2005|12:43pm]

[ mood | dirty ]

I laid in Oz's arms, he wanted me to rest, but I couldn't seem to get any. Oz finally took the lead and called Jenny asking for some help from her. She didn't know what else to do, but give me more of the sleeping pills that she slipped me the night before so she brought a small handfull over telling Oz just how many to give me and how often.

I didn't want to take them, I don't like things like that in me, but its worse not sleeping, so I took two and laid back down in Oz's arms. I was shocked at how quickly they kicked in, I was out cold the minute my head rested on his shoulder. I just wanted the peace, the pain to go away, and this was the only way to get it.

I don't know how long I was asleep, but it seemed like a long time. When I woke up Oz was sound asleep his arms firmly around me. It almost felt good, then something in me panicked. I wriggled my way out of his arms and crawled out of bed quickly making my way to the bathroom grabbing what I needed for yet another shower. I couldn't get this dirty feeling off of me, out of me, I just needed peace.

[[open for Oz]]

56 Lies| Lie To Me

The Next Morning [03 Apr 2005|07:53pm]

I woke up next to my Spike that night. The stars where singing to me again. Oh how I loved to hear the sounds of their singing.

I Should be sad because Grandmommy and Daddy Left the other night. But the stars are singing to me. This must mean something special is coming. The Death of the Slayer?

I leaned over to Spike and whispered into his ear. "Spike, the stars are talking to me. Something good might be happening tonight. Let's go out."

I waited for him to respond back as I gathered up Miss Edith.

((Open to Spike and then others later when they go out Or if they go out))
10 Lies| Lie To Me

Pain [03 Apr 2005|06:07pm]

[ mood | calm ]

I lay there in Oz's arms cuddling close to him holding this kiss as long as I could. I needed to feel something good. I needed to feel that he wanted me. I hated the way I had become so clingy, so needy, this wasn't me at all. I was the quiet book nerd who could hack into fort knox given the right amount of time. Now I was a shell of my former being. I didn't like this at all.

Finally pulling away from the kiss I looked at Oz with pain still in my eyes. "Sorry, I shouldn't have." I said softly as I moved out of his arms. I let out a cry of pain, my body still in deep pain from what Angelus had done to me. I more than anything just wanted the pain to go away, not just the emotional, but the physical pain.

[[open for Oz]]

53 Lies| Lie To Me

Horrible Timing.. [03 Apr 2005|03:04am]

[ mood | annoyed ]

I sighed as I watched Willow and Oz exit the library. I wondered would we ever get the Willow that we loved back? I don't know if that is a possibility anymore. I do know that one thing is for certain, we had to make her feel as cared for as possible. I just wished that was all I had to be concerned about now.

I received a call, as if this was the proper time for it, that the new watcher was arriving in town last night and would be making his way to the school today. I didn't understand the need for him, but I didn't dare question Quentin, for that would only result in my job being lost and possible deportation and with the current situation, Buffy needed all the help she could get.

I prepared for the any possible thing that could come up with his arrival, including rereading what I wrote in my diaries, making certain that nothing that could hurt Buffy was inside each of my diaries. I still don't grasp why it is I have to allow this, or any of the councils antics. It wasn't as if this was the worst of what they had planned.

This was only the tip, I know I stated that I didn't dare question the council, however in certain matters I do. For instance the matter of the test they perform on slayers on their eighteenth birthday, they lock them in a house, powerless, and weaponless to fight a vampire. To see if they have been trained properly, the plan was that Buffy would also endure this, however Quentin wanted to allow this to be done sooner than her eighteenth birthday.

I told him that I would participate in nothing of the sort citing it as an archaic ritual of cruelty to lock an innocent defenseless girl in with a vampire twice her strength. He told me that if this test was not performed than there would be dire consequences. I don't believe that they will deport me, for they would have an angry slayer on their hands who would be unwilling to adhere to any of the councils declarations. I just pray that I am correct in this belief.

[[open to Wesley]]

39 Lies| Lie To Me

[30 Mar 2005|08:23pm]

[ mood | scared ]

"Cor, you know what you mean to me, he said the things to you because he knew that would hurt you more than death. I am lost without you and wish you would please just let me show you that."

I hear his muffled voice say those words, outside the bathroom door. I wanted to open the door so bad but, something was stopping me. Angelus's words echoed in my head as I looked at my watered down face in the mirror. "You know I'm right. You know you're the expendable one of the group. After all, when Xander finds out what I did to his precious Willow...the last thing on his mind will be you." God, he was so right. He knew! How? "I don't have to get you now, Cordelia, I can get you anytime, anywhere. I'm not afraid of Buffy or any of her gang. I will pick you off one by one until she's the only left and then I'll torture and kill her. And you won't know if I'll get you next, or if you'll be the last." I don't know if I can take this. It doesn't matter, whether I stay or go. Angel can get me anywhere. The reminder of his voice whispering these words in my ear, sent shivers down my spine.

Right now, I am his prey. He got Willow. Willow will be tramatized for a long time. I feel for her. But, she's ok. That's all that matters. The selfish side inside thinks I didn't deserve to be ignored. Although, Willow was hurt, I felt I should have been comforted, too! Angel threatened my damn life, and no one cares. Not even my boyfriend. Maybe, I should let him kill me. It wouldn't make a difference right? "No. No", I whispered to myself. "Xander cares, Cordy", I say to myself looking in the mirror. Did he really care? Or was his just saying it, to get out easy. My mind is so fucked right now.

I turn and look at the closed and locked door, in front of me. I walk towards the door. I lean my forehead on the door, and place my hand on the door, as if I can feel Xander right on the other side. I know he's still there. I close my eyes, and try to feel him. He's waiting for an answer. I don't know if I'm ready to look at him, just now. I care about him so much, it hurts.

"Xander", I say, my head still on the door looking down, in a whisper as my voice chokes up and my tears begin to fall.

{open for Xander and anyone else who wants to join in trying to calm Cordy}

15 Lies| Lie To Me

[30 Mar 2005|09:01pm]

I catch Willow as she faints, then take her across to the couch and lay her out. Quickly I run to the kitchen and pour a glass of water, then take it back to her.

"Willow, here. Drink this." I place the glass in her hand, and make sure that she takes a few slow sips.

"Don't gulp, just drink it slowly." My face must be a picture of worry now, but I can't help but show her how worried I am.

"What just happened?"
58 Lies| Lie To Me

Happiness is staking a vampire dead. And I want to be happy. [28 Mar 2005|04:53pm]

I'm ready.

The thing is you can only push a girl so far before she pushes back. Angelus knows this, in theory. But I don't think he was counting on a visit from Buffy, at well, 7 AM. I'm told he's not really a morning person. Bummer for him.

Anyway, after a well deserved rest alone I prepared to take down my greatest enemy yet. The one that wore the face of the man I once loved.

And after arriving at the fanged four's humble abode I decided, hey, how about a little action?

"Let's see now, which are you more afraid of, the sun, me or the matches I brought to make this more interesting?" I paused as I began to take a look around. "Angelus? Darla, Spike,... maybe Dru's home? Maybe? Wanna come out and play?"

I had a sword, axe, stakes, holy water, crossbow, matches, lighters, and a little back ache from carrying my supply bag around.

"Oh, come on. You mean after all that trouble you went through to get me here, you don't even want to fight? Well that's just pathetic..."

(Open to Angelus, Darla, possibly Spike)
17 Lies| Lie To Me

[28 Mar 2005|02:05am]

[ mood | anxious ]

Eventually I cried myself to sleep in Jenny's lap. I didn't understand the mix of emotions I was feeling and I didn't understand why this had happened to me, but as much as they told me it wasn't my fault, I felt it was. I felt like somehow I made Angel come into my room, or maybe if I had done the deinviting spell right, or any number of other ways I could blame myself...thats what I thought. Some parts of me told me it wasn't right, that no one blamed me, but until I had proof otherwise..I couldn't believe that.

Jenny had made sure I was comfortable that night, well that is what I guessed by waking up in a comfortable bed covered in warm blankets. I still woke up crying, but I did get some sleep so that is something. I had school so I pulled myself out of bed and tried to find something, anything to change into.

I didn't have my clothes here not that I would feel comfortable in anything, but i definatly wouldn't feel comfy in what Jenny wore. I asked her to take me by my parents house, as per usual they were out of town so all I needed to do was grab clothes take another of 30 showers and head to school. Which is what I did.

The thing I hated most about Sunnydale was how quick things got around. There were already all sorts of rumors, why I was walking funny, why I was late to school, why I was wearing clothes three times the size of what I usually wear...all sorts of rumors. I was just happy to finally walk into the library where it was quiet and oddly my safe place, but nothing felt safe anymore.

"A--Any--Anyone here?"

{{open to Oz...}}

58 Lies| Lie To Me

Revenge is a dish ... [01 Mar 2005|09:15pm]

Can we kill him? Willow’s question was honest and direct. The tips of my fingers carefully stroked her beautiful red tresses as she cuddled close. A small smile danced across my lips, this was her first and only attempt at comfort that I’d seen. I felt special that she had reached out to me. I closed my eyes to burn the memory of this on my soul, and I knew I’d give my life for this girl if I had too, just as I would for Rupert.

It was then I knew. I had a deep bond with the child whose head was now in my lap, I wasn’t sure that a child was what she was anymore. I suspected she had been violated by a monster, much as I had.

My monster was real, was the man my parents had entrusted my care and safety to, a man who should be by now my husband, who couldn’t wait for the sweetness that should have been his.

Even now, Willow had the distinct smell of strawberries an innocence that she still carried in so many ways. I felt that regardless of what happened to her, she’d keep it until – until she lost all faith in humanity, and even this close to the edge she held on, and I didn’t understand how. Her monster was real, the things they don’t warn you about.

“Yes,” I answered quickly. “But is that really what you want? Death true death is finality and what is in that?” I sighed heavily and began to slowly weave my own story. Not the story of my history, but that of the Kalderash clan, and what the word revenge, that it isn’t just a word, that it for some people is a way of life.

As my fingers continued to caresses her head, I told her about my life in Budapest, about what being a gypsy meant, hoping she would in turn share with me when she felt she could.

“Death isn’t good enough for him,” I said emotionlessly. “I want him to suffer, to hurt, to burn; I want him to die a million times a breath, or lack of breath, sometimes you have to let go and sometimes you have to hold on – and I think we should make him hold on to this and die over and over again everyday. But my sweet girl, the decision is yours, and I’m sure Buffy and Rupert will support you in whatever you feel you should do.”
5 Lies| Lie To Me

I'll Take Door Number Three [01 Mar 2005|07:17pm]

[ mood | high ]

Watchin’ him walk, at times hell he was almost prissy. I wasn’t gonna have a prissy watcher, after all I had well a rep and I was gonna meet the great B’ one of these days.

Saunterin’ down along Main Street, I got a few killer looks, my tongue moved slowly over my lips in delight. Man the pickin’s here were pretty damn awesome, I was gonna enjoy this … so color me horny.

I tried not to roll my eyes as my watcher would go on about things. He was a rules kinda guy, while I well, I was a fly by the seat of my pants type gal, and I love it. He was gonna get old fast, so I’d better use him while I could.

Slayer senses kickin in, I turned, winked and put my finger to my pursed lips and mouthed a shhhhh.

Leanin’ back against the cold dark bricked ally way, I could almost smell the fear. The girl was fifteen tops, had to give her props on her choice of leather.

Strechin’ my neck to the left and then the right, feelin’ the relief as my back neck popped, I saw it move at my sound, behind me Princess Margaret stepped on something, and I turned to shoot back a glare.

“Yeah so, is this a private party or can anybody dance?” I grinned as the vamp in front of me moved from his failin’ victim.

My nostrils flared, as the smell of fresh dirt hit my nose. He was a newbie.

“Yeah, they told me about you while I slept.” He snarled lunging. Had to love the newbies they always made the same mistake.

“Yeah, well don’t believe everything you hear,” as he lunged, I moved to the side, stakin’ him from behind.

The girl took one look at us and ran off screamin’.

“I think I’m ready for some Chinese,” I purred to my watcher. I was ready for him to make some comment about my form so I gave him this keep your mouth shut look, but wondered if they understood that in Britian.

9 Lies| Lie To Me

[13 Feb 2005|01:52am]

[ mood | blank ]

I hated this, Willow was pulling away from us and Buffy was angry. I wanted to help her kill the bastard that did this to Willow, but I couldn't bring myself to go after him. Not when Joyce needs protecting also.

I looked to Cordy and to Oz they looked as confused as I was when Jenny came in and stated that she was taking Willow to her house. Was that really safe? I mean Giles took Jenny's car so how would they get there? Again part of me wanted to be all white knight and drive them, but I didn't have a car and Cordy wasn't about to go back out in the dark.

I thought maybe Oz could take them, but he didn't look thrilled that Willow was leaving in the first place. All the time I spent worrying about who would take them to Jenny's I failed to notice they were already gone. I sighed when I noticed that and looked to Joyce who looked exhausted. I finally spoke up..

"Is there anything we can do?"

She assured me that we coudln't do anything for her so I looked to Oz and tried to comfort him a bit...in a manly way of course.

"Hey, Oz man, she will be ok. She just needs space..."

I didn't know if she would be ok, but Oz needed to believe that.

[[open to Oz, Cordy, and Joyce.]]

24 Lies| Lie To Me

Regrets .... [07 Feb 2005|01:38am]

[ mood | anxious ]

My lips brushed his stubbly cheek, I smiled as he left. He was worried, he wasn’t as fastidious as he normally was with his body, but he was distracted.

I couldn’t blame him, before he left; I caught his eye and winked.

I leaned back thinking of how much my life had changed since I came here to watch Angelus. My heart ached, as I somehow felt responsible for all of this. If I’d just done something sooner, made some action … done anything.

Revenge that was more than a word to the Kalderash clan it was in many instances a way of life. Angel had lived that vengeance until this.

We’d all known what he was capable of and what had we been deluded?

I grabbed the cold cup of coffee I’d been drinking, quietly took my leave and took it into the kitchen, and started another one brewing. Closing my eyes, I stood there allowing the smell of the coffee to fill my nostrils like water slowing filling a tub. Somehow it soothed me, made me feel better as if the smell were fortifying me much as the caffeine jumped started me every morning.

My thoughts drifted back to Rupert, and his distinctive tweed smell. He might be a fuddy-duddy but he was my fuddy-duddy.

Looking at the dishes in the sink, I stopped, in my mind I knew Joyce needed all the help she could get, but I was procrastinating at what I knew I should do.

The hot water burned my hands but I didn’t care, it was nothing to what Angelus must have done to Willow. Hot salty tears streamed down my cheeks as I wiped them away with the back of my hand. “All my fault,” rumbled around in my head.

I’d deal with my guilt later; right now Joyce was walking in to help out. The woman was amazing and I hoped that we would become good friends.

We chatted about things, gathering some sugared reinforcements to accompany the coffee. If one had looked in, you’d think we’d been life-long friends. I had to smile, I’d lost one family for these people, but these people were becoming my new family and by all accounts, even though my life was constantly in danger, I was better off.

Joyce leading the way we headed back in, as she pushed her way through the door, I pushed the thoughts out of my head. I had to deal with my guilt later. Willow was the important one.

As we walked in, I saw her for the first time. It took everything in me to keep from crying, but I wore a smile. Putting down the coffee, I walked past Willow, my hand gently and quickly patting her arm, feeling her shudder at my touch, I resisted the urge to embrace her and untypically, I sat down without saying a word.

11 Lies| Lie To Me

It can't get worse! Can it? [06 Feb 2005|11:06pm]

[ mood | anxious ]

Things couldn't get worse...atleast that is what I keep telling myself as I sit here wondering why we never killed Angelus before this. I couldn't believe what Joyce was telling me, she was telling me that she thinks Angelus did more than just torture Willow. This can't be happening...

The only explination I have is that I failed in some way shape or form, that is all that will work out in my brain. I had these amazing girls in my charge, one a slayer and one a brilliant girl with the talent to be an amazing witch and I have allowed their lives to be threatened. There must be something in my books that can help me change the way things are going, I can't allow them to be in any more danger.

I sighed as I stood up, thinking about all of these horrid things that I had no power to stop, unsure of what else to do I pace the room. My glasses in my right hand my left hands forefinger and thumb pinching at the bridge of my nose, there has to be some way I can make all of this better.

As I pondered all of this Buffy followed by Willow, Cordelia and Xander came down the stairs, Buffy simply stated that she needed to talk to me and not here. I nodded giving Jenny an apologetic look she knew right away that I needed to head back to the library. She simply handed me her car keys and told me to be careful followed by an amazing kiss. I had to admit, I was quite lucky to have her in my life.

[[open to Buffy]]

11 Lies| Lie To Me

Bloody Sunnydale! [29 Jan 2005|02:18pm]

[ mood | cranky ]

I watched as Angel and Darla walked away. The temptation was to follow them, because I knew that precious little Darla wanted to get away from me, from us, so that she could spend time with her precious Angelus, and it was almost worth it to just follow them and start a fight.

Angelus was a ponce, still filled with that vile do-gooder in him, but it was fun to see him get riled up and by my sodding riling him up, I was sure that I could draw out he killer in him once more so that we could stop playing these bleeding cat and mouse games with the slayer and her band of groupies and just get with the killing already.

Also, I never liked missing out on chances to get under Darla's skin. Yeah, yeah, she may have been here, one of the master's original disciples at this hellmouth, but she still had no bleeding clue. This wasn't Europe, this was America, this was the hellmouth, replete with a slayer to guard over it. Things had to be waged differently. Not the way that Angel was handling them either, but not the way that Darla liked to kill, all manipulations and then the attack.

This was about war. We knew who the enemies were and some of us stiull had the right idea about how to fight that war.

I looked at my pet, my sweet, dark goddess, and wondered if she was with me, or if she wanted to play family and side with 'daddy and 'grandmum'.

"Baby, what do you have in mind for the night's entertainment. It seems as though hair gel and wench want to go off on their own. What does my wicked plum want to do?"

((Open for Drusilla))

12 Lies| Lie To Me

[25 Jan 2005|11:53pm]

What I thought was going to be a celebration with the family was going downhill. I did not like to see Darla upset like that, and Spike was not helping. He could such a pain in the ass all the time. I was now wondering why I bothered to keep him around. Oh yeah, for Dru. She was a sweet thrill, crazy as a loon but good in bed. And when she "saw the stars" that was helpful too. Stupid Spike. I should off him and keep Dru for myself.

I watched Darla go and made a decision. "You and Dru go and have fun. Stay out as long as you want." I wanted to say get staked to Spike, but no. Not yet. His time would come soon enough, oh yes it would.

I then hurried after Darla, slipping into the darkness and easily finding her, it wasn't hard with that special scent of hers. I love that scent. I got to her, sliding up in front of her out of the darkness, even though by the look on her face she already knew I had been coming after her.

"Now, now, now. Let's not walk off in a huff, my darling. I sent the annoying ones away. It's just us now." I cupped her face and kissed her lusicous lips, God how I love those lips. I pulled her to me, caressing that body I couldn't get enough of.

"Let's go have a celebration of our own, hmm?"

(Open to Darla, and Spike or Dru if they want to, but mostly Darla)
9 Lies| Lie To Me

[17 Jan 2005|10:42am]

[ mood | angry ]

I was furious. I was not thinking clearly anymore. Cordelia had just informed me that Angelus, the soulless beast that Buffy unleashed just after the two got their happy on, had possibly raped my best friend. I wanted to go kill the bastard myself, but I knew that I didn't stand a chance against him.

If I had my way though I would be there for the day he died, the day that Buffy finally up and killed him like a dog in the street...though the dog wouldn't deserve it as much as he does.

I could hear Cordy muttering about something or other and the name Buffy was mentioned, but to be honest my rage was blocking out anything of substance in her words. I just wanted to park the car where we were and go hunt Angelus down, though a two ton piece of machinery would help in the not getting killed part of my plan. I would have done this, parked the car and hunted him down, but Cordy wouldn't hear of it and to be honest, I don't want to do anything that might hurt her. Wow I can't believe I just had that thought.

I finally focussed in on what Cordy was saying, since she was now yelling it at me since she could tell I wasn't paying attention and I nodded. "Yes, I hope she is home and Willow better be alright, or I myself will introduce Angelus to the pointy end of something!" As I said that I pulled into Buffy's driveway and noticed there was another car there. It looked like Miss Calender's I looked to Cordy and back to the car. "Looks like news travells fast." I didn't say another word I just got out of the car and waited for Cordy to follow.

[[open for Cordy then for everyone at the house]]

29 Lies| Lie To Me

Bloody Buffy and Angelus, this town is too sodding crowded. [17 Jan 2005|09:01am]

[ mood | aggravated ]

The whole Buffy walking away from me thing was like a big slap in the face.

The slayer was so worried about her lover, hep puppy dog eyes still there, that Angelus had become the real danger in town and now the big bad had been relegated to someone that she wouldn't even fight anymore.

I couldn't bloody stand this any longer. I knew Angelus had this plan, but he was all about torturing the slayer mentally, about breaking her down. We were vampires, we killed slayers. All of these sodding games were a waste of time in my book and the way that I saw it, we shouldn't be giving those bloody white hats any time to think and plan and regroup. We should just get with the killing and talk about planning after we had the run over the sodding hellmouth.

Unfortunately, I seemed to be the minority in this pursuit, but I had to talk to Drusilla and Darla and see if they felt the same way about all of this. I wa sfairly confident that Darla would call me an idiot and say that Angelus was wise and that he knew what he was doing, I just hoped that Drusilla, my dark goddess was coming around to my way of thinking.

I searched the graveyard. I knew they were close. I could sense both of them, and they too, could probably sense me. I wondered if they were torturing some bird, or snapping the neck of some little wanker.

That's what Angelus needed to do with the slayer and her little firends, and if he bloody didn't that I would.

((Open to Darla and Drusilla))

16 Lies| Lie To Me

Running till tomorrow.... [16 Jan 2005|11:24pm]

As soon as he was out of view I darted for it. I quickly ran up out of door not taking one glimpse behind me. I knew he would follow, there was no way he wouldn't. I grabbed my neck where he had his teeth. I felt them as the caressed my neck lightly. I quivered, it was all alittle too much even for me.

My legs were starting to cramp up a little, but I was a few feet away from my car. I couldn't help but think that any minute now he would grab me. I let out a sigh as I reached for the door, I hopped in quickly and locked the door. I searched for my keys in my purse. I was panicking and I couldn't exactly find them right away.

My eyes were starting to swell up with tears the more frustrated I got. I kept on looking both in my purse and at the window...Where was he? I heard the clanging of the keys as they dropped to the floor board. I reached for them and grabbed the drivers key. As I sat up I looked at the window, my eyes open wide and I let out a scream. He was standing right at my car..

I quickly inserted the key into the car, turned it on and pushed the gas peddle. I didn't move and I didn't know why at first until I looked at the gear shift, and put it in drive.

"Let's get the hell out of here!"

My tires squealed and I left nothing but smoke flying in his face. I got about a couple blocks away when I realized I was going no where. All I could think about was Xander and where he might be. Angel could being trying to find him at this very minute just in spite of me.

I reached for my cell phone and dialed his number. After he picked up I let out a sigh and told him to meet me at his house. I told him several times to stay inside and I'll knock. He wanted to know what was up with me but I didn't tell him anything and I won't until I see him.

I finally got on his street and creped up to his house. I looked around to see if 'tall dark and scary' was around. After about a couple a minutes I figured the coast was clear. I grabbed the cross and jumped out the door. I ran through his front lawn right to his front door. I rang the doorbell for what seemed like eternity..

"Come on..come one.."

[open to the Xandman]
12 Lies| Lie To Me

[16 Jan 2005|09:11pm]

[ mood | worried ]

Jenny is the most amazing woman I have ever met. I just can't say that enough as I look at this amazing woman in my office. I wanted to show her how I felt, but something in me said not to. I wanted that to be a night to remember, not on a desk in a highschool library.

I watched her as she assisted with the research as she had on many occasions before and I couldn't help but be mesmerized. She could take the most mundane thing in the world and make it the most miraculous thing. She also was the only one among the two of us that had the slightest knowledge about that infernal contraption she calls a laptop computer.

I was just about to ask her for more assistance when my phone rang. I sighed and answered it reluctantly.

"Hello? Joyce? What is it? Oh dear Lord we are on our way."

I quickly hung up the phone and looked to Jenny.

"there has been an attack. We need to get to Buffy's now"

I didn't say another word as I gathered my belongings and took Jenny's hand leading her to my car she insisted however we take hers. I can't see why no one likes my car, it is perfectly servicable...That really is not the point at this moment. The attack on Willow was the most important matter at the moment.

It didn't take long to get to Buffy's house where Joyce was apperently waiting by the door. I saw the pained look on her face and it nearly killed me. I took a deep breath and headed in with my books and Jenny's infernal computer.

"Joyce, what the bloody hell happened?"

I could see the shock in her eyes I softened a bit.

"so sorry, I didn't mean to just attack the moment I saw you. What happened? Is she...is she..."

I couldn't bring myself to say the words.

[[open to Joyce, Oz, Jenny]]

4 Lies| Lie To Me

Going to Suunydale to be Faith's watcher. [10 Jan 2005|07:56am]

[ mood | chipper ]

The council had seen fit to bestow me to the position that was rightfully mine at this point. That of watcher.

I would be heading to Sunnydale, California, and the hellmouth to help out with Buffy Summers and her watcher, Rupert Giles, whom I knew quite well by reputation.

The way that Quentin Travers had put it made me feel more honored than I already was, really. He said, "There is great evil there, Mr. Wyndham-Pryce. One slayer has already been killed and the new slayer there will need a new watcher. Lord only knows that Rupert Giles has his hands full as it is with Buffy Summers. You will act not only as Faith Lehane's Watcher, but you will also observe and be corrective of Rupert Giles' methods. We feel that he has become to American because of the influence of his slayer."

That left me beaming with pride as the plane taxied down the runway at Logan airport in Boston, where I was to meet miss Lehane, after her watcher, Edna Bates, had been killed by a vile creature, a vampire with cloved feet named Kakistos. What I found interesting, was that this just happened, and the council in England knew, as they prepared for their retreat, but it seemed that Rupert Giles abd Buffy Summers did not.

I guess it would be my job to inform them when Faith and I arrived. The flight had been a joyous one. The approval of my father and my feeling that this is what I deserved only added to my sheer delight at being told that I would be watching over a watcher senior to me.

I waited for my bags and found myself almost humming, I was so joyous. I just knew that Faith was going to be the prototype in the slayer manual of how a slayer should be under my influence and with my tutelage.

I couldn't wait to meet her and to get to Sunnydale.

((Open for Faith))

14 Lies| Lie To Me

[07 Jan 2005|04:44am]

[ mood | scared ]

"He bit you?"

I nod but don't make eye contact with him. The pain in his eyes was becoming too much to bear. I know he was only worried because he cares for me, I just don't like to see anyone else in pain because of me. I finally started to doze off, my body relaxed against the one person I trusted more than anything right now.

I couldn't explain how I was feeling to anyone who had never had this happen to them before. The feelings of just wanting to die, just to make the pain and thoughts of what happened end and the feelings of fear of the people that I used to trust with my life. I know that they couldn't and wouldn't hurt me, but something in me still feared them.

I was finally almost asleep when I heard a door slam and I jumped about a mile and let out a yelp. Oz held me firmly to him trying to calm me, but the shaking that had finally subsided once again returned. That was not all that returned, the tears that once burned my eyes and glistened my cheeks also returned and in full force. This was not a feeling I wanted to get used to or just deal with, I wanted these feelings to leave, to head for the hills and never return.

Oz was desperatly trying to calm me, letting me know that it was most likely Buffy coming home from patrol, but I still shuddered in fear. I finally looked up into Oz's eyes and could see that he was not just trying to calm me down with lies. What he said had no ulterior motive behind it, it wasn't to shut me up...he really did want to see me happy again. I just wish I knew what that was anymore.

"What was that"

I finally asked looking to Oz to tell me what had just happened.

[[open for Oz and Buffy when Buffy is done with Spike]]

19 Lies| Lie To Me

Bored at the bronze big shocker..... [05 Jan 2005|08:52pm]

Xander left and I was all alone to do nothing but homework. After attempting to get it all done in about a half hour I gave up. I didn't know about anyone else but I knew that I didn't need to know where a frogs heart was. I let out a sigh as I decided to go to the bronze the only problem was I needed to find a better outfit. Xander had spilled his coke on it earlier when we were talking.

After a few minutes, well maybe about a half an hour I headed on my way. I picked out the new Valentino dress I had just got the other day. It was blue and very revealing in some places but I loved it. I wondered if maybe Xander would be there, then I could show it off to him. I was a little excited of course but I did have a few worries, mainly Mr. Big Dark and I'll kill all of you friends.

I prepared for anything that could possibly happen though. Stakes, holy water, mace and even some handcuffs just in case. I wasn't exactly sure why I needed hand cuffs but they so could come in handy if put in the right situation. I finally arrived and I put my grandmothers car in park. After a couple deep breaths I was prepared to run the hell out of there.

Luckily I made it in without any trouble, which is always a good sign. I made my way to the crowd when I saw Harmony. I nodded to her then hurried my way away for an empty table. The waiter came by a I ordered a drink. I sat there looking through the crowd, no one was here that was remotely interesting and Xander of course was no where in sight

It was mainly filled with a bunch of idiots from the school but there were a couple cute college guys. I smiled at one as he checked me out but then I looked down at his shoes and they were Reebok. I let out a sigh of disgust then reached over for my drink as the waiter handed it to me.

[open to anyone nightly visitors]
9 Lies| Lie To Me

[05 Jan 2005|08:26am]

[ mood | apathetic ]

Keeping the slayer on the bleeding run so that Angelus could do his thing. This was not my idea of a bleeding party.

If Angelus had any bloody stones, he would just off the bird, the slayer himself, instad of devising all of these little mental tortures for her.

We were vampires. Was it not our ultimate goal to off the slayer anyway, well that, and to bloody feed upon all of the little people that the slayer was trying to protect. He could have it his bloody way. I was the one face to bloody face with the slayer now, and I din't care a bleeding dime for his plan. This may have been a distraction, but this slayer had bloody kicked my ass too many times at this sodding point, and this diversion was going to become a fulfillment of Angelus' goals if I had my way.

I looked her in the eye.

"Buffy, are you bloody okay? I have to be honest, pet, you don't look like you've been sleeping too well. What's the matter? Having wet nightmares about your undead lover? Leaving you a little bloody weepy in the middle of the night?"

I got into fighting position, knowing that by talking about Angel becoming Angelus because of her, that I would make her want to stake me, which bloody gave me the chance to do exactly what I wanted to do, which was drain another bloody slayer, and have a really good day.

((Open to Buffy and possibly Drusilla))

4 Lies| Lie To Me

[02 Jan 2005|05:04pm]

[ mood | anxious ]

"It's important. You're important. Why are you sore? Willow, did hurt you?"

I knew that no matter how mnay showers I took or how much perfume I wore he would know. Darn wolf sense of smell. I took a deep breath in and gathered myself together ready to tell him, then I thought about it. Why would I tell him something this big on the phone? That is insane, also not a thing you tell someone you love on the phone...Oh yeah...you want to know what he did to me well he raped and tortured me...oh and bit me too. I don't see that going over well.

"Oz, can you come to Buffy's...I think we need to talk"

I could sense the anger for Angelus in his voice, but he agreed to come and talk to me. I still wasn't sure if I could be alone with him in the same room, but I had to tell him....atleast the partial truth. I hung up the phone and prayed that he wouldn't go postal when he got here and I told him this.

I laid on Buffy's bed praying that this would all be over soon. That's when I heard a knock on the door. I sighed and got up heading downstairs telling Joyce it was Oz and I would get it. She nodded and told me to make sure it was him before I opened the door. I did just that, made sure it was Oz and let me tell you he looked pissed off at this whole situation.

I opened the door, but dind't look at him. I was attempting to hide the bruise on my face and also I suck at lying to his face. If I am not looking at him I can maybe pull off the half truth of what hapned.


I said simply, trying to keep from crying. He tried to take me into his arms and I backed off. I wasn't ready for all of that. I did notice that he caught the scent. It was over now I had to tell him what really happened. Great...dang wolf sense of smell.

"I need to sit down...or lay down. Come upstairs...I guess."

I said that and Joyce nodded just asking that we leave the door open. which I understand though trust me, nothing was going to happen.

[[open for Oz]]

59 Lies| Lie To Me

[31 Dec 2004|12:56pm]

Star Log -- 1998 naw...too geeky

Dear Diary naw..too girly

Dear Journal me? a journal?? eh...no.

yea...thats better

Things around here have been pretty...well...normal. And when I say normal, I mean everyone is still picking on me at school, Tucker still hates me, and I'm still not getting the hang of this summoning thing.

Summoning, as in bringing forth a creature from another plain. Well, Tucker showed me how to do it one night. I think he was high then, because he NEVER asked me to hang out with him before...but he did, and he taught me how to summon, he said this sort of incantation and this thing jumped out of a portal, and growled...I hid behind the couch being the wimp that I was. Tucker laughed and made it disappear and gave me this book and told me to try it.

I tried it.

It did'nt work.

Stupid Tucker...

So now i'm sitting here, trying to get the hang of this summoning thing...and it's just not working.

And school's not any better, no one likes me...everyone had their own little group the hang out with and I'm sick of it. No one pays attention to me, they act like I don't even exist. Well except for the Johnathan guy. He's kinda cool. err...He's sorta cool He's alright. I see him in the halls sometimes, he shuffles along, while dropping his books...well more like people throwing his books down and laughing at him while he picks them up.

He's a nice guy...sort of..




Err...sorry about that...stupid brother...wanted to borrow my dolls figurenes to experiment bringing them alive...i'm sorry, but NO ONe touches my dollies er..figurines...anyway, where was I???


Oh yea...Johnathan..hea he's alright, I bet he knows how I'm feeling, no-one liking you, everyone ignoring you, hell, I'm sick and tired of it...i've gotta do something about it.

Hey...the school play is coming up...maybe somehow I can get their attention and then they'd notice me!



Andrew the great

~ Andrew Wells -- popular! ~

hehe popular!!
I'm gonna be popular!

Oh great...now i have that song from Wicked stuck in my head.
Lie To Me

Music... [23 Dec 2004|11:14am]

[ mood | artistic ]

I'd been reluctant to leave Willow alone, but she understands how much my music means to me and that means even more. Nothing is as important to me as she is, but I'd been neglecting the band lately in favor of spending plenty of quality time with Willow. Her letting me know it was all right for me to go is the only reason I was able to let myself.

Devon pretty much turned the full power of his anger on me. Not that he has the ability to hold too much anger at once. I think he forgot what he was yelling at me about in the middle of 'Dude, you shouldn't forget... Yeah.' He knows I won't leave the band in a bind and he also knows better than to try to get between me and Will.

I'm not thrilled with this particular gig though. To Devon, a Frat party is the perfect opportunity to play to college girls in the hopes of impressing them. From the looks of that particular audience, I'd say they were far more interested in their beers and the guys they were already making out with. But one look from one girl and Devon is convinced every female in the place wants him. I leave him to his delusions. It makes him happy.

Music is the reason I go to these things. I enjoy playing, but more than that, I love the way music feels. It gets into the heart of matters. It's cool. You can express feelings without using words if you want. You can also evoke feelings from others if you get the right tune going. Something happens when I play. I start to lose myself, to feel a certain peace that I can't find anywhere else. Sure, when I'm with Willow, I'm at peace, but usually I'm so filled with feelings for her that deeper levels of peace and calm are rarely reached. Which I like, I won't deny. But it's good to get in touch with that deeper calm sometimes.

This kind of party usually lasts all night though. I don't want Willow to worry and I want her to know where I am. I called her house, but got the machine. It bothers me when that happens. I always think the worse. But I forced myself to realize she's gotta be all right. It was late when I called so she was probably asleep. I left her a brief message letting her know where I was and my plans so she could get in touch with me if she needs me.

After playing for the party, I need to stop by my house. My mother is fairly laid back and doesn't mind not knowing where I am at all times. But if she doesn't see or hear from me in a few days time, she tends to get concerned. So, I thought I should swing by and show her I'm still alive before possibly heading back over to Willow's. I'm trying to ignore the gut feeling I'm having about something not being right. I'm sure it's just a feeling.

Lie To Me

[21 Dec 2004|06:05pm]

Mmm... The dogs outside as I walk howl a symphony to the moon filling my head with wonderful pictures. My little sweet is playing with the slayer and I heard the wonderful music outside that I didn't want to miss. I wonder if the stars are enjoying the music too. The night twirls around me like a big velvet cape shining with such pretty colors.

The girl with eyes like burning fires digs her nails into my mind making me want to put out those nasty fires she has. I wonder if she'll scream like that last girl so I can dance and dance and dance the whole night away. That would be lovely...

Shhh... Someone is here, that is what the air whispers.

[[open for vampires]]
3 Lies| Lie To Me

Cant Tell [18 Dec 2004|03:31pm]

[ mood | blank ]

It was a horrible nightmare...it had to be. There was no way that this really happened to me. The man that used to be so kind and caring, raped me. He made me do things with him that I had hoped that would only happen with Oz. Well once Xander, but that was a dream that wasn't going to be fulfilled.

I had no clue what was going on now, I remember waking up at one point cold and sore seeing that I was tied up somewhere, but I couldn't tell where and the darkness took me back over and I passed out again. I just wanted to die or live I was sick of this inbetween where I driftted in and out of conciousness.

I do know that I am not telling everyone what happened, well not all of it. I don't want them to know and then turn around and kill Angelus. I would rather find another way to kill him, in a manner of speaking that is. Reinsouling him is far more painful than death and I know that Angel is not the man that Angelus is. I just have to wake up and make sure that no one finds out that he took me...made me his.

It was going to be a pain doing that with Oz who has that nifty sense of smell, but I would do what it takes...I have to. Right now though I have to wake up...I have to wake up and make sure that no one finds out..no one sees what he did to me...

[[open for Buffy and Joyce when Buffy is done with Spike]]

35 Lies| Lie To Me

On patrol [17 Dec 2004|03:43pm]

Graveyard shift. In the the Graveyard. Great. Remind me next time to throw myself at Will and Xander's feet and use the 'Free brownies if you tag along' line. Seriously. Where have all the bads gone? The silence is totally giving me the wiggins, cause, well, It's never this quiet unless...

I heard a noise.

"Here vampire, vampire, vampire? Be a good little un-dead person and let Buffy stick this stake through you and turn you into a pile of dust."

Didn't think that would work but you never know. But I did hear a noise.

(Open to Spike)
4 Lies| Lie To Me

[17 Dec 2004|02:24am]

[ mood | hungry ]

The night air was crisp...perfect for a kidnapping and torture...hmmm...so many ways I could torture a sweet strawberry plucked fresh from her patch, er, bedroom. I couldn't wait to see the look of terror on her pale, porcelain face...her green eyes wide, her mouth quivering...almost makes me tremble with excitement.

I make my way to her house, sleek as a shadow passing through the night. I neared it, and saw wolf boy's van out front. Well...it wouldn't be there for long...I chuckled. Hope I'm not interrupting anything...I so wanted to be her first.

I made my way to the back of the house, peeking thorugh her window...awww, how sweet. Watching movies, the two lovebirds holding onto each other...Willow's face has such joy on it, so in love she is. When I got through with her, she'd be lucky if she could recognize him without screaming. That smile would be a faded memory.

I started to get impatient, where the hell was Darla? Where the hell is my distraction? I wanted her now, I could already taste her sweetness in my mouth...oh look...they're kissing...just wait, little red one...you'll like my kiss much more than his.

I continued to watch and then the phone rang. Willow answered it, then handed it to Oz. This had better be my distraction. I was torturing someone tonight, and if it wasn't Willow...

She stared so adoringly at him, I could tell they hadn't done it yet. She was still waiting, just like she had for Xander, the dumbbell. He wouldn't notice her if she bit him on his ass. But now she has wolf boy, who does notice her and makes her feel all warm and gooey insdie, all tight and wet in her nether regions...I bet she can't wait for him to pop her cherry....of course, I was going to get there first. I couldn't wait to hear her scream as I deflowered her. Mmmmmm....the scream of a virgin is such beautiful music to my ears...

(open for Willow)

22 Lies| Lie To Me

He said he wanted a distraction... [10 Dec 2004|05:01pm]

After Angelus left I turned toward the others.

"Spike, you do distraction well. I'll help if I can, but I don't want the spotlight. There are things happening that we don't yet know about. I'll stay back with Dru."

I wanted to say more, do more but I wasn't feeling myself. I pulled Spike aside.

"I think you know as well as I, there's more to Angelus's obsession, than the slayer. It isn't the slayer at all. It's the girl. And if it isn't handled properly we could lose our lives. She killed the master. But for now it's probably best to just go with it. Distraction. No more, no less."

Suddenly I had a thought.

"Dru, listen carefully to grandmummy. Okay. Can you tell me if the stars say if the girl is alone? Is someone with her? Dru it's important

The short of it was there was someone with Willow. Dru's words and my logic helped me figure that it probably wasn't Buffy. And it wasn't just parents. That we could get by. Probably the boyfriend. I wasn't feeling like showing my face tonight, but, looks like I'll have to. But hmm, at least I can minimize it.

"Willow's with the werewolf, Oz. And he is in a band. With a boy named Devon, who likes pretty girls. And he'd probably really like some that want to hire him on the spot to play a gig at their place. Dru my dear. It seems as if you and I are distraction #2."

I paused.

"Dru dear, how would you like to go for a little walk? We are going to go play with a boy. Probably practicing at that place, trying to impress girls. I've seen him practice before.. But you must let me handle the talking until after we get a phone call out of him... Everybody understand."

I didn't wait for a reply.

"Looks like I'll be getting my school clothes out again."

I walked toward the door, took Dru's hand, and I left.

(Open to Spike, Dru, and I guess if we want to finish the distractions in here Oz and Buffy)
3 Lies| Lie To Me

Music makes the anxiety (and fear of awful death) go away [10 Dec 2004|04:54pm]

I was in my room packing slay supplies for a night on patrol. And I was singing.

"Buffy, she's the slayer, she's the slayer, slayer, Buffy she's the slayer, and she slays things, yes she slays things, slays them dead like" I stopped singing.

Dead or deader?

"She slays them more dead than they were... If they were dead. And makes them dust like. Oh so dusty. Fun With the dust. And the slayage. cause she's : Buffy! She's the slayer"

I stopped singing and looked at the stuffed piggie lying on my bed.

" You laughing at me Mr. Gordo?"

I eyed Mr. Gordo and gave him a sly look.

"You're lucky you're a pig and not a vampire. Or-"

I heard my mom.


I quick and hid my bag under the bed.

"What mom?"

'Did I here singing?'

She entered my room.

"Um, yeah,caught me. You know me. Always getting jingles in my head. Remember Toys R Us"

'Yes, I do.'

She looked at me , then Mr. Gordo. I could see mommy nostalgia in her I eyes, so I quick and made with the hug.

"Love you mom"

'I love you too. Goodnight Buffy.'

She left, and out came the weapons. I opened the window and jumped out. Taking the remnants of my childhood with me.
Lie To Me

[08 Dec 2004|06:21pm]

[ mood | worried ]

The talk with Buffy had helped my mood a bit. I was terribly worried what Angelus or the others might do to her if she is not able to maintain her control, if thats what I should even call it. I know it is hard for her to kill him, he is the first man she loved and it has to be hard to see the face of that man on a killer. I just need her to focus on the mission.

I would remain locked up in my office until I came across a weakness for the four. I had not even seen Jenny in days, wondering how she was and at times unable to focus on anything other than her was making my research hard. I even found myself laying on my couch dreaming about her, or wishing she was here is more like it.

I forced myself to a state of caffeine induced conciousness to last a few more hours until I found some weakness I had possibly overlooked before. I just wished I had some help. Willow was worn out, Xander was useless, and Buffy was patroling. I found myself wishing she wasn't patroling, fearing that she would be off by even a moment and she would die. I know that I can't think such things, but I do. I just needed a break and soon.

[[open for Jenny...Save Giles from his musty books]]

26 Lies| Lie To Me

[08 Dec 2004|05:02am]

[ mood | calm ]

I could see the exasperation in Cordy's eyes when I told her she had to finish the test before we went to make out...well she calls it studying, I call it making out. I know that everyone knows what we run off to the janitors closet to do, they arent as clueless as some people make then out to be, but I just go along with her cover.

I wonder sometimes if she doesn't really like me though. I mean she has this thing about not telling anyone about us, because she will be embarassed. You know I am a pretty good guy and she is embarassed of me. If there is anyone who shoudl be embarassed of who they dated it should be Buffy.

I mean seriously look at what she has to be proud of. Dead boy was all broody then they sleep together and he is now killing everyone we love. I just don't get why she can't just stake him and move on. I should have staked him when I had the chance, not that I really ever had one. I guess it really isn't my place to worry about this being as I am just the snack getting screw up who makes out with Cordy in a closet.

I was just glad when school finally ended for the day. Cordy insisted that she was tired of making out in her car and that we should go back to her house. Her parents never checked the guest house so we could go and have all the fun we wanted. I was just happy to avoid an of my parents drunken fights.

[[open for Cordy]]

9 Lies| Lie To Me

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