lead_heart (lead_heart) wrote in _letterstoyou_,

it seems like the same thing bothers both of us. It's like we expect a certain kind of upper level conversation that's just not happening in life. I don't know if you get that from anyone, but I'm positive that I don't.

I blame myself for spreading cultural knowledge much too thin to be useful, for not having any one passionate cause, for not being able to focus on the topic at hand without wandering into generalizations. I waste my time in life wallowing in self-centered thoughts, especially when I've settled into patterns of like I have lately-class, work, social, study, and sleep-with hardly enough actually random things interjecting throughout the day. It's pathetic that to have a change I sat on the upper bunk and looked at the fan from a different angle. I'm boxing myself in and I think that might be one of the reasons why I keep wanting to go home, because there I don't do that to myself. I'm craving to go out and meet people, to go out and wander around whatever gallery seems intriguing, to see the plays and movies that might actually have something to say, to go see that Disney music hall that is supposed to be so amazing, to read the other religion books so that I don't just have to listen to you or someone else explain them every time the subject comes up. Ideas and conversations don't happen when all someone does is sit around her dorm room.

It's been on my mind. I don't doubt something similar has been on yours. Talk to me.

- kiddo
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