Ok, I really want a b slash f. However, I don't wanna go through the get-to-know-you process. The get close process. You know? I wanna pick up where Patrick and I left off, minus the fighting. That boy Daniel was super cute. Juli said that because he came over and talked to me and looked at me some he was interest. I don't think so though. And Brian gave me his digits and said we should see a movie. Now, I'm not being conceited, I don't even think either of these guys like me really. But it would be nice. I just, I don't wanna go through the beginning of a relationship. Since my relationship with Pat, I know what I want though. I know what not to do. Like, I don't wanna see the guy everyday like I did Pat. I just want a chill relationship. I want someone to kiss and cuddle with. To be comfortable with. To tell my secrets. To sit in a room together and not feel the need to talk. Not have awkward silences. One underestimates these things. They have to be built and I'm not really up for that. I don't wanna have the clingy-ness of a relationship but I want someone to be there. I don't like admitting it but I am really lonely. It sucks. I want it to change. But I don't wanna make the same mistakes I did with Pat. And I'm not going to. I'll be driving soon, and my first priority other than school and work will be my friends. Gosh, I want someone who knows how things are in my life, not someone who I have to tell them to. I want no awkwardness. Among these things I want something else I won't mention but can't have. Psha. I just, I want someone there who I can have a deeper relationship with. But not have the see the person all the time, because I'll be playing FOUR sports, I don't have time. I need someone who understands things. I want a boyfriend again.