when the winter cold comes streaming into my bedroom underneath a poorly constructed window.
and it takes me back to that time when we could lay in your bed for hours.
literally, hours upon hours.
always at night
because no one was to know.
and we would just lie down and watch dvds on your computers and talk about memories and the future.
and i would stroke the back of your hand while you talked.
and you would nuzzle into my neck.
and i used to think i was the luckiest girl in the world.
i would walk around with a smile on my face
because it didnt matter how skinnyother girls were, or how white their teeth, or how perfect their makeup and hair
i had the perfect boyfriend.
we were perfect together.
we were going to get married.
i was 15.
and now im 17.
thats still scary.
i cant fall back into that place.
but at the same time i cant stay away.
