okay, you know what? fuck this. im not going to fucking wait around for you any longer. it's not like you're even going to fucking come back, everyone you need, everyone you love is with you now. or will be, anyway. what the fuck am i? dirt? probably worse. to think, i actually cried over you? cut myself over you? spent days in misery knowing that i can't see you? even if you were to come back, nothing would've changed. JUST FUCKING ADMIT IT, YOU STILL LOVE HER. deny it? fucking BULLSHIT. you have her carved on you forever, until the day you die. no matter how many times and how hard she'll trample over you, you'll still love her. entry after entry.. ALL YOU EVER DO IS FUCKING TALK ABOUT HER!!!!!! why the fuck did you even try to move on? it's very fucking noticeable that you're not over her. i'd be so happy to see you; all i did during class was write your name over and over with cute little hearts in fucking pink and red pens. was i even the first one you gave a hug to? why the hell did you even bother to talk to me when clearly you just came for her? i admit, i should've tried harder to make at least something out of the nothing we had. but you didn't really try either. hug, kiss, okay. FUCKING SAY SOMETHING. we don't even fucking talk anymore. you don't even know when you'll be back. most likely you wont though. fine. fuck you. atleast have the god damn balls to tell me that you're not, and im just some ugly ass bitch who wasted your time. you've done SO much self-mutilation over her.. the least you can do is take your anger out on me. atleast then i'll know that i'm not fucking invisible to you.
i don't care if you even find out about this, i don't fucking know what to think or say to anyone anymore. i sound so fucking cliche there, like any other teenage girl confused about her love life. BUT I REALLY FUCKING DON'T. i still fucking like you a shitload, hell, i could even say i love you and not be fucking disturbed by it. but fuck, not like you care. see you in hell, bitch.