June 1st, 2009

(no subject)

I'm sorry but I just can't help worrying myself sick over you. I'm glad you got everything off your chest on Sunday, and don't feel so burdened anymore, but your bombshells have pretty much buried me. You have to stop doing these things with her! It's not helping you at all. Don't tell her she can stay (too late). Don't let her sleep in your bed (too late). And don't say it's okay because nothing happened! Don't be such a fecking BOY and try to pull the wool over my eyes. You invited her in. It's an emotional tangle you don't need. Whether or not something happened is beside the point. Of course, you then made me feel even worse because you confessed you DID want it to happen, but you were too drunk.

It made me feel sick, that you would even think like this. I care about you too much to see you hurt again, and this is hurting you. SHE is hurting you. Let her go. I'm here for you, I promise. You're my best friend and I love you to much to leave you alone with this, but you have to try and help yourself as well. Worrying because you have me worried sick about what is making you miserable won't help either of us in the long run. Please, just be brave.

Love Jess.

STOP GOING THROUGH MY FECKING PHONE. Just because you are my boyfriend does NOT give you that right. There is NOTHING between C and I except friendship. I'm sorry you're uncomfortable, and I'm trying to balance both of you. But seriously! And if you are going to go through my messages and take things out of context, of COURSE you are going to be upset.

I HAVE NOT DONE ANYTHING WRONG. I never will, ever. I love you and only you in that way. Please trust me, I have never given you any reason not to and it's really upsetting and offending me that you feel the need to keep tabs on me this way.

I love you, always. Jess