May 5th, 2008

(no subject)

dear yoooooooooou:

stop being so sexy.

not handsome. I don't find you handsome.
not cute. I don't find you cute.
not hot. I don't find you hot.

It's hard to describe, but although I do not find you at all attractive, you are, to me, ridiiiiiiculously sexy. especially your arms. and your stomaaaaach. I remember this time we were a-hangin' last summer and your buddy was there and he has this totally ripped washboard chest and NO SHIRT) but pretty much all I could look at was you wearing, oh lord, a ridiculously tight t-shirt. I occasionally chanced a glance of Beefy McShinyabs (specifically, every time he got out of the pool) but fingers-crossed it was you in my line of vision nine times out of ten.

so please, just stop it. I find it difficult to take you seriously at all! start sitting up straighter or something, or wear different shirts.

Thank for for taking my request into consideration, and I hope you and me and those amazing forearms of yours can come to some rational agreement.

sincerely,
a concerned citizen.