March 23rd, 2008

me

(no subject)

Mikey,
What were we thinking. Grant it, we had fun and it made spring break go so much faster but now that break is over there's a lot to figure out. I mean were we just a spring break fling. If not can you understand why I won't do what you want and I don't like being forced into things or do I have to remind you again. I feel like we can never talk seriously and I feel like on so mnay levels this should go on however realistically can it happen. I guess I got caught up in how nice you were one on one and then last night at the party to see you so drunk and hanging on some other gril. And trying to make out with me in public. Plus scott then telling me exactly how much you really told him. which by the way was a lot more details then I would have told anyone. so what do we do. Why is it I was jealuos of the other girl. how do I tell you that due to my allergy I can kiss you when you've been drinking and further more how does that get explain so that I don't look like a bitch to everyone. Why is it that though I would normally give up on anything with your already i'm stuck trying to figure out how I can make something work. It just sucks not knowing what you wantin terms of a relationship yet knowing what you want sexually. oh yeah and your joke about biting my arms has to stop. It brings up to many memories about my abuses ex not to mention leaves a ton of bruises making wearing certian clothes hard. Any how I guess I'm just trying to vent everything out and figure out what the hell we were thinking when we started this and what the hell I'm thinking trying to make it continue. GRRR I need my best friend back and I need you to understand where I'm coming from.