February 10th, 2008

(no subject)


I wish you knew how in love with you I am. I wish you knew how much I wish I could move on. I try to think about other guys, talk about other guys, but you're a year and a half of my life that I'm having trouble letting go. For you to tell me that you were having a hard time letting go of me, telling me that you want to be close to me again when you're done wondering around, makes me stick so much closer. I wish I could simply walk away. Just cut my losses and leave you. You're afraid of everything... I love you so much.

I've become numb. I don't want to cry. I don't want to be sad. I just want to smile, be hapyy. You're not bringing me down. but what we had was so special, so awesome, and three hours and another girl just... ended it. I wish you could be honest with me. I wish you'd really care. I wish you'd stop doing all of this.

Next week is going to suck.

I don't want a relationship for a long, long time. you taught me that just because you're with someone, doesn't mean that you're going to be in love. i've always known that i wouldn't be in many relationships. i don't like/want to be tied down. someone special has to come around [like you] that makes me want to commit. i wish you'd stop running away. you're breaking my heart even more, and you won't give it all back to me! you need to stop. take a second to look. you've thrown me aside without a second thought.

i've stopped mentioning it, and i simply hold it all in. you're my memory... no one elses.
and everyone else says that same goddamn thing.

i just need to throw myself into working and forget what it's like to breath. you've said goodbye... and now it's my turn?
it just doesn't feel like we're done, but that's probably wishful thinking.

i hope that you're happy with her.