September 20th, 2007

all alone ff8

Am i so unloveable?

Fuck This.

what the hell, honestly!  What is actually up with you.

You texted me all the time, which was nice. just nice banter, or a nice conversation mixed with flirting. you send me  a message "accidentaly" in Spanish when you were a wee bit drunk (she speaks it and french , and she knows i dont) that translated means "Would you like to come to my bed" 

I know i'm unloveable, you dont have to tell me. I dont have much in my life but take it, its yours.

then wouldnt tell me what it meant ( i found out using a translator / my pal that speaks it)

You invite me up to your flat, and hardly talk to me i sat talkign to cheryl ( her roommate / one of my best friends) You were so fucking hard to talk to that night and you actually asked if i was in a bad mood with you????? i made ALL the effort!!

Then we go to Rev and get a wee bit drunk, and talk endlessly for 3 whole hours, and you kiss me.

Then when you text you dont mention it at all.

you and cheryl sit  bar in the west end. and you text me for like an hour, then i get a message from you're phone saying

" hey you wanna come to vodka wodka- Cheryl"

you seem to do this all the time, you sit and text me for like 15 /20 mesages worth of convo, then the text that actually invites me anywhere is from your phone but cheryl apparently writes it???? why? is that so that i assume its her that actually wants to see me, and you just  happen to be there? I FUCKING WORK WITH HER I SEE HER ALL THE TIME . ughhhhhhh =|

after that thursday i didnt text you, i dragged Cammy all the way to that bar in the west end and you barely spoke at first. you warmed up a bit but it was probably cos you were pissed. Cheryl says to me on sunday night out of the blue,  why havnt you been texting Gemma, you always text her. are you mad at her?

You text me last night telling me your getting a nother tattoo and stuff asking how i have been and that we should hang out.

Sitting watching the Rangers match with my pals and you text me all night and then the message asking if i want to come over is again, you're phone but cheryl using it again? i ask why and cheryl says she has no credit, but then texts me from her own phone later?????

i come to your flat, which is bloody expensive and awkward to do, and you have you're friend there and just talk to her, barely acknowledge me, another night sitting talking to cheryl and feeling very out of place i left like half an hour later and went back to my pals to watch a film with them. Why invite me over,  or why allow cheryl to invite me over. cheryl knows exactly how i feel about you. so i assume you know.

you confuse the actual fuck outta me girl, everytime i decide that enoughs enough and i'll just leave it you text me asking how i am. or text me just to say hey.

and on top of everything i just had a really rubbish driving lesson, AND i'm working tonight.

over and fucking out.

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