September 5th, 2007


I am trying really hard to make our friendship work.
Really fucking hard.
Because I love you so much.
I cannot have a relationship with you.
You dont realise how much I hate that I have hurt you.
It pains me to no end.

The other day I cried on you and you held me and it was so nice.
Because I felt you were still there for me even though we aren't a couple anymore.
If I  went out with you  I would just  be using you as a security blanket. My heart wouldn't be in it.
I couldn't kiss you like I used too.
You would  notice.

I am sorry I never made love to you.
You were so great and you never asked for anything.
It would have been a wonderful thing for you.
Alas no. You ex is still a virgin.
But I cannot do it. I am just too screwy in the head,
I dont think I will ever have sex with anyone to be brutally honest.

Please stop.
I am talking to you right now..
Why cant it be like before we went out?
I know,
we have been through to much.

Near broke my heart when you gave me the ultimatum the other day.
Thats why I cried too.
I dont want to lose you,
Your one of the most unique people I have met and your special.
We share things no one knows.

We were besties once and it was so good.
I am sorry I tore out your heart and stepped on it twice,
That sounds horrible but thats how you said it.
I really am.

I care about you.
You went and saw a counsellor the other day.
If I hadnt have broken up with you then u would be ok.
Still kind of ignoring your problems but still.
I dont like it when your unhappy.

You helped me so much and taught me so much.

I wont give this friendship up without a fight.

Passive aggressive net convo's or not.

Your worth fucking more than that.

I will ALWAYS be here for you.

(no subject)


you remind me so much of my exboyfriend, and your even from his hometown. that scares me. i really like you, and your a totally rad guy, but i'm scared that i'm going to end up making the same mistakes as i did with him.

i don't want to take things fast. hell, i don't know if i want you to ever be my boyfriend. maybe we should stick to friends with benefits.

just don't fall in love with me like he did. please.

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