July 20th, 2007

(no subject)

Eric,

You don't deserve a 'dear' to prefix your name. You are pathetic. I've been thinking about it for a few days, and this is the last time I will ever soil my thoughts with you. You came along, preaching to me how true love exists and how you would show it to me. How you would give me a reason to trust again. How you would show me that the world isn't such a bad place afterall. Do you know what you did? Really, do you? You furthered my disgust for this world. You showed me that true love is just a joke. And you showed me that I can never trust anyone, ever, again. You were the first person I was honest with, and what did I get in return for it? Lies. When we met again, I was somewhat sorry I even bothered because I realized why we broke up in the first place years ago - because your empty romantic words fell on deaf ears. I never saw myself with you. I don't even consider relationships if I can't see myself with the person. But, I wanted to do something different for once. Take a chance. I wanted to start over, so I deleted my past. You had me believing you wanted the same, and had done the same. Oh, how silly of me. All her little *<3's!* did mean something, as I had said. You reassured me it was over, and that she had made that abundantly clear. Two days later, she says she made a mistake, so you drop everything and run to her with open arms? That's really funny. Because do you know who made the mistake? You did. I can guarantee she will do it all over again. So while you are sitting there writing in your journal how wonderful you two are together, how you are actor and actress on a stage being watched by everyone...you may be right. But the play we are watching is not a romance. It is a tragedy. And you will be left very alone, Eric. Very alone and very miserable. And don't expect me to have open arms for you, because I will simply laugh and close the door.
oz, glittery, shoes

(no subject)

Dear You (for I will never be able to type out your name for shame),
So. You called.
And we talked.
And it sounds like you had great fun. Well, I'm glad somebody is, right?
But I don't want to sound bitter.
Or be a burden.
And I know I'm being one, which just makes me want to hop off a cliff altogether.
But then you say stuff like, you'd hate that.
So what am I supposed to do? I just want you to be happy.
And you seem happiest when I'm not around. So it's my duty as your friend to keep you happy.

I think you know where I'm going with this. Stay happy, okay?

- Shaz

Dear Sophie,
Instead of typing this out on my computer, I really should be handwriting it and sending it to you at this moment.
But because I'm a horrible friend, I'm not. And you won't see me until school's open again.
I bet you'll be really pissed if I don't write, but what am I supposed to say?
I'm working on the whole not complaining/being whiny campaign I started. It seems to NOT be working thus far.
I just miss you a lot. Is that what I'm supposed to write? But won't that make you homesick?
That's not good when you're at camp. It's really not.
So I'll just tell you about all the dreams I've been having.
Yeah. I'll get right on that. Talk to you soon. love.

- Shaz
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