I'm living in your letters.. Breathe deeply from this envelope

Dear Ef,
Please dont be nice to me I really dont deserve it.
Ive treated you like crap and you still want to be with me.
I really dont get it.
If someone was being the way im being with you Id want to smack them.
But you, you just are too nice.
Hung out like 2days pretty much solid.
Took me home even though you live the other side of the city.
I know I should love you more than a friend but I dont know if I can.
Your the nicest boy in the world but I dont know if I should be with someone right now.
You are an amazing boy n you deserve something better than this.

Me
xx

Dear stupid valentines day,
Bugger off.
Loving couples rubbing every single person in the worlds face in it that there alone.
Well fuck you.
I got my 2 best friends in the world, 2 bottles of vodka and karaoke madness.
No boy can beat it.

i'm a wee bit scared now.
i am going into surgery tomorrow morning for an operation on my chest. wasnt all that worried but now that its only a few hours away its kinda getting to me. :[ hardly anyone knows about it and my friends that do havnt even said like good luck or anything, well one of the guys in uni did. so aye...wee bit nervous. on the plus side i bought a new lcd tv so i can play my 360 in style :] while recovering.

happy valentines day
xx