January 9th, 2007

(no subject)

So your seeing someone.
You couldnt tell me, yet you call me a friend.
I thought I would feel hurt.
But now I just dont think I care anymore.
I just want to move on from what we ever had.
For once I can get angry at you and not feel guilty.
And I dont answer the calls and messages.
And I dont call back straight away.
We dont mean anything to each other anymore and thats the honest truth of it all.
Which is mad cos a month ago I woulda fell at your feet.
Guess I seen you for what you really are and it wasnt all I thought.
Your really half the person I fell in love with a year and whatever ago.

Now I got another boy, who yes is away for a month but messages me day and night to just see how im doing.
For the first time in months I got a smile on my face.
I havent been upset because your a stranger now.
I think I might just be happy again.

Me xx

(no subject)

spring will come bearing sunlight
i have to give myself a few more days.
i will survive and i will refuse the help i am offered.
ive just discovered loss, real loss. the kind that leaves you feeling empty, you feel it right under your breast bone; and your breast bone itself suddenly doesnt feel so strong. it purges your sinus glands and reaps your under eyes and wrecks your stomach lining. 
"youre nothing but a baby kara, you put that back in the trash, god doesnt like little girls who have pacifiers"
"but i have pretty curls and pretty toes and im nice. he still wouldnt like me?"
"god doesnt like little girls who dig in the trash"