January 3rd, 2007

(no subject)

On New Years I guess I got too drunk.
I guess I started to remember last New Years & how happy I was to start the year with you.
I guess I just found a phone and decided to spill everything to you.
I guess you were too drunk too.
I guess it wasnt what you wanted to hear.

Then last night you threw it back at me.
Then you call me 5 times and txt me because im ignoring you.

I took it all back.

Today you txted me again saying I was your best friend and loved me.
Before when you said you loved me I guess I got it mixed up.
Being your ex and still loving you I read it wrong.

Now were pretending like nothing happened.
Not 1 word been said since that message.
Back to normal now.

I cant take it anymore.
  • darklas

(no subject)

I am a horrible person.

I mean really. I am so fucking selfish. I am so sorry for doing all this. Can you ever forgive me?

I need to get a grip. Stop being such a slut. I am still young. I am making mistakes. But...I never meant to hurt you like I am. I wish I could take it all away. I really do. But...it's gonna kill one of us isn't it? Depending on what I do.
I wish it was easier.
I wish you could stop loving me. I am a bad person. What do I have to do to make you see this? Everyone else gets it. Why don't you?
Will I ever stop crying over you?

(no subject)

dear kainalu,
sometimes i imagine us in a friends with benefits situation. if we can't go back to the way we were. wouldn't that be nice? maybe not. i just keep thinking about the beginning, the sweet, tender, gentle way you spoke and looked at me and held me, and kissed me, and touched me, and just. everything. when did you change, i change. we change. i know we wouldn't work out now. but it could've been so much more. i wanted to change your life. i think about it, and you're not even that cute, hot, attractive. but i like you nalu. i did anyway. i haven't even talked to you in three weeks, why do i keep coming back.

dear kyle,
what the fuck was that on the phone? it'd be wonderful if you'd stop confusing me. it'd be wonderful if i still had power over you. please don't let it get to your head. you don't control me, and i'd slit my wrists again before i'd give in to you.. easily. no. you're not worth it. i just have to keep telling myself that you're into hooooobags. and i don't want to be another one of yours. ope, gotta go.