December 31st, 2006

(no subject)

dear boy.

i'm sorry. so sorry i have to do this to you. i know theres a much better way, but i cant do this anymore. im pushing you away. im so sorry.

love girl.

dear man.

you sadden me so much it hurts. it makes me want to never speak to you again. but something tells me deep down i should help you. but when was the last time you helped me at all. i hate you so much. and deep down i know i still love you. jerk.

love the little girl

and lastly

dear self

be strong.

love self.

(no subject)

dear you,
i'm scared for you to know how i feel all the time. you wouldn't understand. you save my life every day, but nothing can change the way i feel. like, my feelings aside from you. you make me so happy but there will always be that part of me stuck in that black hole. sometimes i wish you could understand it all. how it hurts to smile, literally hurts. how i can never cry when i'm supposed to, i just hold it all in until those hard days when i wish i would just die. but you help me more than you could ever understand. just having someone that's always here for me makes it all so much better, and makes my life worthwhile. i want to thank you, but you won't understand how much i really am thanking you, so it's pointless. i love you.
i need you.

(no subject)

boy #1,
I know I tell you all the time that I love you but I'm not sure if you really know how much. I dont think there is anything we havent been through. I dont think there is anything you dont know about me. I feel like I can always be myself around you, that no matter what you'll always be there, to make me laugh, listen to me rant, take care of me when I'm sick, let me cry on your shoulder. I dont think you realize how much you have helped me. So, I want to say thank you. You mean absolutly everything to me, I dont tknow what I'd do without you.
Love always,

boy #2,
I am so incredibly sorry for everything. I adore you so much. I'm glad we're friends again.
Love and Friendship

boy #3,
What do I say to you? Honestly, sometimes you can be such a fucking douche bag. but for some reason I am strangly attracted to you. Not in the "omg your so hot i want to get in your pants" type of thing. You and I just get along so well and we have a lot of things in common. Its just a crush really. I know thats all yours is too. When you were complaining about not having a chance because of boy #1, and I told you that at one point you did, I'm not sure I really meant that. I mean, you dont exactly seem like the boyfriend type. You seem like the man-whore, flirt with every girl you can type. Which is basically what you told me you are but since you like me you "stepped it up a bit". I just hope that since we both confessed to eachother that we like eachother by accident that it wont screw things up with us. It doesnt really help that we're both dating different people. Heres the thing, I dont think you feel the way about your girlfriend, or that you could ever feel the way about anyone that I feel about boy #1. But really, you are a blast to be around and I wouldnt have it any other way.
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