December 16th, 2006

(no subject)

dear you,
why are you doing this to me? IT'S KILLING ME. do you understand that? how could you not understand why i want you to stop smoking? i care about you. unlike you probably, i care about people i love. this all just proves to me that you don't give a f*** about me. if you say you're not even addicted, what's the big deal about stopping? oh wait yeah, cause you're being stupid and you really are addicted. i almost forgot. even then, you can still try for someone you supposedly "love more than anything" and "would do anything for". so i guess you were lying about that, huh? great. am i really this bad of a girlfriend that you have to do this to me? maybe you don't understand how much it kills me. but how could you not? i've only explained it about ten times. every time you do it, every time you talk about doing it, it makes me hate myself, my life, everythinggg more and more. it makes me want to die over and over again. no one understands the way i feel about this. i can't talk to anyone about it. and i can't deal with that. having no one believe that i'm doing the right thing. i feel like a terrible person for doing something that proves i care. doesn't that seem at least a little wrong to you? you must really hate me.
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