December 4th, 2006

(no subject)

dear 3.

I feel guilty. Becuase there are moments when youre talking and i just picture me shutting you up and kissing you. But those things cant happen. For one its just not allowed. and for two.. its just not allowed.

But recently. Ive been thinking. Whats so wrong about breaking a couple rules?

-sigh-

love 1.
connor O

(no subject)

youuuuuuu

So I have found my self falling more and more every day. My feelings got strong really fast. I know and hope that you have strong feelings for me too. Well.. we have been through a lot together thats for sure. We've also known eachother and been friends for a while too. I've always thought you were a great guy, and we have always had a little flame.. Well at leaste for a little while. The other night when you started talking about me going off to school, I got a little emotional. You were emotional too, but I cried. I felt like such a baby, but i had never thought about us that way. I just thought every thing would be normal, but its true. We might not have as much time. It just made me sad to think of us drifting. I really don't think it will happen though. If we really want things to work out, then they deffinately will. I am willing to work a little harder for this if you are. Last night, yes I was a little distant and quiet. I didn't think you would notice... You did. You thought that I was going to break up with you. I don't see that happening any time soon. Its just I am kind of worried with how much I am starting to like you. I know that, that probably sounds bad. Its not even that I'm saying I should like you less. Its just, I sometimes get scared to show all my feelings. With you I feel comfortable though, to talk to, and open up to. Which is good. Its just I have had such bad experiences in the past. I know that I shouldn't let them interfear with how I feel now about you, and believe me I'm not. I also know that you are a different person, and that you aren't like that. Its just harder for me now to trust things, I am more insicure. Ya I admit it... I am insicure with certain things, and I am insicure at certain times. I am not ashamed to admit it.. Its not an extreme insicurity though. I get over things fast, and I'm not some clingy, obsessive freak, and I don't lie/cheat to make my self look better so I feel better about my self. I also don't act or put my self on a peddistule, make up stories, or act fake to impress others, take me as I am. You get more confidence, by being accepted for who you are rather than being accepted for some one who you are not. You take me as I am, its amazing. You don't expect me to do things. You make me feel amazing. When I'm with you I feel like I'm a princess, cheezy I know but its true. Every thing is so good. You are yourself around me, you are real. Which makes every thing so much better. I love us, and every thing about us. Nothing feels fake between us, nothing is forced. Its just real. We have so much fun. No matter what we do I have fun. Even when we just chill out at your house, its fun. Going mini putting, and things like that just make it even better haha. Other than my family, you are the most thoughful person I know. You're always trying to make me happy. You've showed me new things, taught me new things, and even showed me new feelings. Lately I have been emo about a lot of things, cause its just seemed like a lot of things have been falling appart. Its part of life I know, so I just deal. You are like my escape, a distraction from reality. When I need it your there to listen. I hope that you feel the same way for me, that I take you away from your stress and make you happy the way you make me feel happy.
Overall you're great, we are great. Sorry if sometimes I worry you, and act strange. I am not the best person with emotions sometimes.
ilu..<3