November 13th, 2006

My TeaRS

(no subject)

why is it that the moment im ready to move on and be happy,
you have to walk back into my life and make everything so complicated?
we both know we dont work well together but why cant we let each other go?
i love you. if you love me, let me go.

  • darklas

(no subject)

Dear you.
Get over yourself hunni. You're not that pretty. You're a fucking waste of space. You think guys like you? You're nothing but sex. Fucking slut.
You gotta start doing something with your life. Stop wasting time. Stop messing about.

From you.

letter to my "father"

dear clive,

                      i want you to know that i don't care about you. i don't hate you. anymore. i've finally given up on you and i hope you know that. i want you to know that that morning in the airport will be the last time you see or hear from me ever again.

                     i want you to know that my coming over this summer was actually a favour to you; since turning 18 i had no obligation to see you, i didn't have to keep up the obligation for the sake of you actually bothering to send any financial support.

                   i want you to know that i know, that i remember, all those disgusting things you did to my mother and i, the abuse, the games, the lying, cheating, and stealing. the manipulation. the broken promises and broken hearts.

                i want you to know that my failure to trust anybody completely is in part, if not entirely due to you. that i can't trust men and am constantly suspicious of their motives. that i don't stay around long enough because i always assume that there's a trainwreck waiting to happen. the way they did with you and my mother.

               i want you to know that my low self-esteem is hugely because of you; i'm always doubting myself, always questioning my self-worth. i'm never good enough, i never give enough, i'm never strong enough, i'm never smart enough, i'm never anything enough. nothing i do is ever good enough.

             the manic depression, bipolar disorder, addictions, emotional withdrawness, and suicidal tendencies are a big contribution from you. and don't ever think for one moment again that my accomplishments are at all because of you, they're in spite of you. you have no bragging rights, and you have no right to call yourself a father or me your daughter. i owe you nothing.

              i want you to know that despite the problems you've left me with, i'm going to rise above it.

              i want you to know that i am cutting myself off completely from you. i want you to know that there are no more chances. it's finally too late.

i'm done.

and most of all, i want you to know that i will never think of you again after this day.