October 18th, 2006

(no subject)

Dear Joshua,
I just was just thinking about you tonight when I read the letter I wrote for your euogly. I was just think about how much I miss you, and the great memories we had.
I hope you didn't forget me in Heaven, Josh. I hope you didn't forget me. Cause I never forgot you, anytime someone mentions the war, I get teary eyed, and defensive. Because you would have defended the reasoning for being there. No matter how unclear it became, no matter how Vietnamish it was, you never lost sight of the pride you felt in your uniform.
Josh, I hope you're okay, and your soul is at rest. I hope you got your wings. You were always an angel, just never had your wings. I pray you got them.
I was just missing you, and I wanted to say how much I love you. You were my everything.

I can't wait to see you again someday. I love you.


(no subject)

Dear Rob

I don't know if I can do this anymore.
I don't think I have anything left to give.
I really have tried to not give a damn, to not let what you say bother me.
How can I go on with this anymore?
Its been 6months and not a thing has changed.
I still am in love with you, like no way I have ever felt about a single person before.
But you keep pushing me away and I don't think I can do this now.
I think I will always love you - even just a little bit - forever but I can't keep doing this to myself.
Hoping maybe one day youll wake up, realise you need me and not want to let me go again.
Maybe your realise what we had was worth the fights and the tears and the secrets.
That it was worth the travelling and the money and the 3am drunken calls.
That you'll miss me messaging you just because. No particular reason. Just because.
That youll need me the way I need you.
Everyday theres something to remind me of how perfect I had it once.
A song or even a smell.
Letting go of you for the last time I know will break my heart all over again.
But I can't live in the false hope that you love me still.
I always knew it would end like this.
Just didnt know it would be this painful.
I could have given you everything if you let me, guess the fear just got the best of you.

Love  (forever)
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(no subject)

dear i hope you burn and die
youre so lucky. you really are. youre so lucky i am how i am. really. becuase if i was the type to be cynical and let things flare up all over again even though that it happened a while ago you'd be in so much trouble. you would. in fact i guarentee an injury. if not death. no maybe not death but there'd be a hella cat fight. but im not. and ive let it go.

but doesnt mean i dont think about letting it happen from time to time.

becuase you deserve it.


dear you

i have a secret that i wish to share.

i gave you mono. HAHA.


dear dean&perry
thank you. that goes for all around. from putting up with me to accepting me. im sorry im difficult. im sorry for making you guys worry sometimes. and im sorry for not taking your advice. i promise from this day on i'll be good and not make you guys worry anymore. pinky promise.
Love vanessa

and lastly

Dear Kevin Coffee.
You are a pimp and thank you for joining me in ripping his name to shreds. And thank you for kicking his ass on high bar. You're my favorite gymnast <3
Love vanessa.