August 26th, 2006

(no subject)

dear high-being-ness,

did u change him so much because after everything else that happened we were still together? or is he right about finding himself? and if so, why did u let me love the old him for so long. i dont understand what the hell is going on right now. or where all this came from. but, im just going to move on with my life. school is coming, work is fun. and maybe i wont feel like i need him this time. if you'll let that happen. if u dont keep making me dream about him and reminding me of him. just so you know, it would be awful torturous of you to do that to me now that he says the him I loved is gone forever. BEcause its pointless. You make us want eachother, then you make it impossible. This little game u play is really pissing me off. So, please stop the madness. I'm sure everyone would really appreciate it

yours truly. 

(no subject)


Neverfuckingmind the fact that it hurt to sit there and listen to you freak the fuck out and him tell you "I love you, it's okay."
Neverfuckingmind the fact that I was just sitting there in silence. Of course, you fucking needed me. You didn't fucking care when I hung up on you to go fucking SOB into my motherfucking pillow from hearing him say one fucking thing to you. It doesn't matter because as long as we're both there and as long as YOU GET YOUR FUCKING WAY, all is well.
Neverfuckingmind the fact that once you made him talk to me, he was a complete asshole.
He had nothing to say to me aside from bitching about how I'm so much more important to you and blah fucking blah.

Fuck this.
And you don't see how or why everything I fucking do is on YOUR time.


::deep breath::

Dear world,
i enjoy embracing the morning with everything i've got.
i dont like wasting away in a pit of sadness.
i loathe to see you so hurt with stupid wars and the like.
sometimes i like to think you dont notice
spinning around
doing some dance
do you get dizzy?
or would that only be if you stopped?
dance on little diamond
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