August 21st, 2006

(no subject)

dear nick.

god i miss you. i miss you like no other being. tonight was.. god amazing.. I dunno. For once.. you did everything I could have asked for. Like giving me the biggest warmest hug i could have ever asked for. When we hadnt even reached the part about me leaving. And kissing me becuase deep down we both knew how much we missed eachother. We both didnt want to break up. We know that. But you dont want a distant relationship. And thats okay. I probably wouldnt want to be held back. And thats okay too. It just hurts so much to see you, but not be with you. It hurts alot. To the point where I cried the whole way home..listening to "Public Affair" which didnt make alot of sense. I just want you to know.. you did find a place in my heart. I've dated a few guys. Only two made it to where you're held now. And youre one of them. I'll try my best to keep in touch. As reluctantly I feel to say this, I do indeed love you. I fell in against my will. Technically you have no right to it cuase you were cheap, ego-tistic, romantic-dumb, etc. But somehow, sitting on those swings not saying a word, i felt the happiest i ever been in a long time. Its where I wanted to be.

I hope you have fun this year. And i hope you find a pretty girl who is messy like you and rude and cheap. And I hope youre happy. I'm not trying to sound sarcastic, I want you to be happy. But dont find her too quickly haha. I'll miss you alot and I love you.

sincerely vanessa.


dear summer,
please, please, dont end so soon.
Im not ready to start school again.
i need a few more weeks of nights like these and days like these.
I need more nights with the boy and days with my girls.
please, please, come back. dont go away right now.