August 20th, 2006

(no subject)

Dear Rob

Like I thought another weekend and another mindfuck.
The other night you said you didnt want a relationship.
So I got the message we would only be friends.
That hurt like hell but at least I knew where I stood with you.
Yesterday we went into town and hung out as mates.
It was a good laugh and I thought that yeah maybe this friends thing could work.
So we go back to yours cos it was raining and there was nothing else to do.
We play video games act like idiots and then you kiss me.
So then we spend all night just hugging and talking and you say you still cant get over me.
What does that even friggin mean?
I go home finally like 4am then you call me just to make sure I got home okay and to say goodnight.
Today I wake up and theres a txt from you saying how good it was to hang out n you wish I stayed over.
Listen matey, I adore you and you know this.
Your either like to mess with me head and love playing these games with me or you are actually just a confused boy too scared of being hurt again.
I Love You plain and simple.
1 more shot is all im asking for. It would make this heartache worth while ad bring back my smile.
  • Current Mood
    confused confused

(no subject)

I spent time with him today. Like yesterday, but four and a half hours shorter. We talked and talked. He told me he was totally taking the lion to school. And then, the last three minutes on the way to my house were completely silent. We were both thinking about how much we were going to miss each other. I told myself I would not cry. That was the biggest lie I have ever told in my entire life. I broke down as soon as we turned into my driveway. He reached over and pulled me close, telling me that he loved me and he would miss me. He kissed the top of my head and repeated himself, while prubbing my back. Comforting me. He promised that I would be okay. He promised. He told me he would call me every chance he got, and that he'd call me when he got there and settled a little bit.

And do you any of you understand why I'll eventually be ok?

Because he said so.
  • Current Mood
    depressed depressed