August 17th, 2006

(no subject)

dear laura,
you are a fucking hypocrite.
what is up with you lately?? i realize we all change but you've gone too far.
i understand you changing your taste in music. but to criticize me about mine? yeah, you're "so over" green day. fine. but now the latest fad is panic! and you've fallen for it?? oh, and dashboard confessional is your absolute favorite to die for now. yeah, like you didn't just hear about dashboard last week.
"it's so hard to be goth in the summer" hello if you were committed the heat wouldn't kill you. and you renounced pink? where did those sequins come in?? what happened to the girl who used to ask me if her shirt matched her jeans? they're denim. they match with anything.
oh, and i'm "goth" now?? i wear too much eyeliner? i distinctly remember someone who used to smear 4cm. of eyeliner down her face cos it made her look "cool". i didn't say a word when you looked like an idiot. your fashion is your thing. you've changed. you turned into ROSIE. okay???? now do you understand how serious this is?????????
yes, i actually know zeppelin songs. i know a lot of them. i don't just wear the t-shirt like you accuse me of. i bet you couldn't name one song. i dare you, just one.
i've put up with you and your shit longer than i should have. i never should have picked up the phone the summer of 5th grade and called you. i never should have told you about my dad, and my cutting, and my entire g0d damned life.
seriously fuck you.
*gasp* what happened to the quiet girl who never used to curse or say a negative word to anyone?? where did she go? you didn't think i'd have the guts to tell you to your face everything that i feel right now. well guess what? that girl you used to know? that sweet little pushover? she's grown up. she's seen the shattered bottles and the sharp blades and the writing on the wall. just cos you had your boyfriend first doesn't make you any more desireable than me. the one thing you used to lord over my head was the fact that you're a "bad girl" now and it's okay to go behind their backs and make out. fuck you and your attitude towards me.
you can take that invitation to sleep over that my mom got out of you and shove it. i'll find somewhere else to stay while they're at the concert. I DON'T NEED YOU.
take your memories of "margarine potatohead" and jamie "hitting on you" (he thought you liked him so he was playing along with you till you realized that a man 35 years old is NOT interested in a 15 year old girl.) and everything we once loved and share them with someone else cos i'm sick of you.
have a great sweet 16 WITHOUT me to light your fucking candles. i'll get a real pyro and make all the smoke i want.
so i guess this is goodbye.
well, it's been fun, but in the end you were about as great a friend as liz was. and we all know how much you like her...
oh yeah, and i'm sending you a copy of this letter so you can save it and look at it and cry about it forever.
have fun.
  • Current Music
    everything is alright --motion city soundtrack

(no subject)

dear you,
i know this might sound crazy,
but i really think your myspace song is about me.
on the other hand my hopes are really high right now.
it might just be that.. but i want it to be about me.
-me

(no subject)


Dear Me,

Darling, live up this weekend. Who knows when you'll get another one. Have fun, but be safe. Make sure everyone else is safe, too. Take away keys, if you have to. Live it up, hun.

Love, Me
one day

(no subject)

You know, I sent that letter after I edited it... I took out some things. Some of them meant a lot to me, but I didn't want you to think ... honestly, I'm not sure why I took them out. I didn't know at the time how you felt about me. I thought you just, I don't know. I thought you just said cute things to me because we were so close and you're just naturally cute and charming. Which you are. But now that I know how you feel, it has honestly changed my view on everything. I always thought that I was just going to have amazingly overpowering feelings for you, and there was nothing I could do about it. But now that I know, everything has changed. For the past three consecutive nights, we have talked for hours and hours. Some of it is dirty comments (you will accept all comments that suggest me getting into your pants, huh? :-p), some of it is random things, i.e. I need my Ocarina of Time game back, and some of it is the normal things from any of our conversations (how are you and her, how are he and I, how was your day, etc.). And yet, after every conversation, we say the same thing to each other. Does this ring a bell? "I love you." It must, because you've said it to me every night for the past year and a half AT LEAST. But now... now those words means something totally different than they did before. I mean, they still mean that you care for me and that you always will, but now they mean it in a different way. "I don't know, all I know is that I care about you immensely." That text is from two nights ago. Yeah, you remember- the night we stayed up until 6:30am just chatting with eachother. That has got to be my favorite night of all time, wolfie. You made me feel like a different person. You made me feel like I was loved and cared for, and I knew for certain that you were always going to be there for me. You make me wish I could fly . . . I've only been gone for eighteen days, and already I'm wasting away. What am I going to do when I can only see you three times a year plus summer? I think I might die. But you know what? This Saturday and Sunday are going to be the best days that I will have until Thanksgiving. I cannot wait to spend time with you. You really do make my life a wonderful thing. Thank you for everything. I love you so fucking much.
  • Current Mood
    loved in love