August 16th, 2006

(no subject)

Its weird, we just talked on the phone for 3hours about everything.
When my life is falling down around me you are there like always.
Then the 'Us' talk comes up and I get my answer.
The one I've waited months for.
The one that makes me tear my hair out n cry til I fall asleep.
You dont want to get back together or have any relationship.
Not just with me but with anyone.
I kinda expected that.
Just the reality of you saying that nothings gonna change.
So what now? Just mates?
Friday night should be fun hanging out but will it be a repeat of last time.
We kiss, cuddle and talk about old times n how we miss each other.
Have  friends and mine say give it another shot.
Then the next few days ignoring each other because were embarassed about what weve said.
WOW this should be fun.
Man I wish to God I could get over you just the teeniest of bits.
I swear I would give anything right now because I still love you more than anything.
What you said tonight just made things 10xs worse than they were like an hour ago.
Im never falling inlove again because the feeling after is the shittiest.
Oh well plenty of fish in the see and all that.

  • Current Music
    Foo Fighters -- Walking After You
at peace

dear will

baby i love you...i always have and always will. i'm talkin to at least four other guys but you're the one i want to be with. because i love you...
i love how you treat me. i love the way my name sounds coming from your lips. i love your smile.
and your eyes....william lamar smith i see true love when i look in your eyes. everybody can see it. so why are you running from it. we belong together...why don't you?
  • Current Music
    365 radio station

(no subject)

i can't deal with social situations. i just got home from a party, with like 10 other people there. it felt...awkward the whole time. i couldn't deal with the awkward silences and weird pauses. then they started playing spin the bottle and i fucking invented a boyfriend to keep from playing. i'm nearly sixteen, you'd think i'd be okay with random meaningless kissing, but apparently not. i was terrified and anti-social. when it FINALLY ended (which seemed like forever and a day) and i got home i felt horrible. i was shaky and felt drained and dirty and ugh. i took about a 40 minute shower and i still don't feel right.

that can't all be normal, can it?