August 15th, 2006

kissing billie joe

(no subject)

dear you,
i am not really sure what to say to you anymore. it's kinda weird seeing all that we've been through and how you still don't seem to acknowledge any of it.
i meant it when i said "i honestly can't bear to look at him anymore". i meant it when i looked you in the eye and told you how i felt. i can't take the silence that delves between us and threatens to tear you apart from me.
every damned song we ever talked about have now become the ones i cry myself to sleep over.
what's going to happen when we go back and see each other again? i don't know if i'll be able to take whatever it is we say to each other in polite conversation.
and the worst part about this is you don't even know. i can lie and pretend that everything is fine and you wouldn't know the difference. that's what kills me. that i have to fake myself around you. that i have to lie to the one guy i used to trust the most. i'm sick of you and your attitude towards me. i'm sick of everything i ever dreamt of us having. and i'm sick of my sorry ass attitude for being so fucking optomistic and actually believing that i had a chance.
fuck you.
love,
me
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