August 13th, 2006

(no subject)

If you're listening:

I can't stop myself anymore. I feel myself spinning out of control and I've begun to just give up. Am I worth saving? Not in my mind. The logical and emotional clashing has begun to slow, I'm forgetting why this is a problem. My heart and head are beginning to agree, and that scares me. They both are telling me to break and I'm finding that I'm much too tired to argue.

I hate the fact that in 10 years, this is what I'll have to look back on. But I don't want to get better right now, I'm falling in love with finding that my pants are too big and seeing the scars that I've left behind. And all anybody says to me is that I look good, that I'm such a great kid. I'm so scared of the moment when it all comes crashing down. What do I do then? Where do I go? I've lied to them all. I need a place to run away to, I just hope I make it there.