August 9th, 2006

Breaking Hearts

(no subject)

I'm sitting here writing this to you. Maybe I'll send you it maybe I wont either way I have to get this out.
I don't know whats the scariest part of this. Actually letting you go, ending whatever it is thats happening and having nothing to do with you. Or keep whatevers happening between us going.
Either way my heart is gonna break once more.
Just maybe the second option you'll realise that you want me again.
Maybe you'll just feel something like you used to.
Maybe something will click in you and you'll see that what we had was special.
Your my best friend and the only boy thats made me feel this way.
You gave me so much more than I ever thought I could find in a boyfriend.
Your the only one that after nearly a year still gives me them butterflies when I see you.
When I wake up next to you I get the biggest grin ever.
Your the boy that calls me beauitful and kisses me even when im sick and disgusting.
Your the only one that calls me at 4am to say hi because you know I don't sleep.
That special one that knows everything about me and never judge me once.
I wish I could stop loving you sometimes.
I really do because then I wouldnt be crying writing this to you.
But the thought of that good feeling being gone makes the tears worth while.

All you really need to know is that I love you.
Ever since the first time I met you I knew you would be special.
You danced like a geek and had the most amazing eyes I've ever seen.
Not to mention spilling drinks trying to impress me with your crazy moves.
You were a sure thing.
I miss you sweetheart, I really do.

Guess you never really get over the first person you truely fall head over heels for.


(no subject)

do you know her nervous habits? how she plays with her hair? her signature dance move? her biggest flaw? how she's a coward? her favourite book? her favourite film? her favourite cheese? who she's loved? what she looks like when she's just woken up? her thoughts on life? her hopes for the future? her favourite band? her favourite songs? how she eats? how she sits one person away from the group? and why she does it? what she knows she's doing? how she runs like a fairy? when she's happiest? her favourite film? how great she is with hands? how she kisses? her weaknesses? her strengths? 
then you don't know her and you don't love her. it's obsession you drunken fool. i truely get how much it sucks though.
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dear jt,

well, you've gone away and no one knows where you are. i'm just a little freaked out but you probably don't even remeber me so whatever...all i can say is i hope whatever happens, you end up happ. i still love you and always will and i just want you to be happy.
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dear troy

you're f***in with my emotions right now! i can't believe you sang for her. she's heard your band and you gave her your myspace info. how could you? it's like, i mean nothing to you at all...
i actually regret what we did. because now i'm broken hearted and you don't seem to care.
i still love you though. with all my heart. but what we did prolly shouldn't have been done. it doesn't seem to mean anything to you...i don't seem to mean anything to you.
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