July 7th, 2006

cute

(no subject)

dear chris,

holy fuck girl, wow, am i ever happy that we talked about that stuff that went on. i know i wasn't the most sober thing (as you could probably tell by my nudity) but what i said, i meant it. i want to be your friend. and i'm sorry that i messed up our chance at being in love. but thats okay, right...? i did notice how upset you seemed. and i told you the truth. i told you that i felt horrible because you're someone i want in my life. and i'm glad that you appriciated that, and that we can get past being awkward. and i'm glad we started playfighting because i think we could be best friends, and i want that to happen because to me, you're a safe person. you're someone who i can trust with my life. you've taught me alot.

love,
amber

dear jordan,

i'm sorry for kissing your best friend. i don't know how that makes you feel, but you seemed kind of angry. we need to talk. you need to talk to me, and i need to talk to you. i need to talk to you because i miss when we did talk and i told you everything, and i need to tell you everything else because we haven't had a talk like that for a while and i'm filling up, and spilling over. lets go for slurpees, k?

love,
amber
cute

(no subject)

dear insomnia,

you only come to be my friend a few times a month, but when it happens it hits hard and at the wrong times, too. my mind becomes crazy and it wraps around every tangible thing and destroys it when i can't sleep. i can focus on anything - everything is sharp and it seems to all be coming at me, fast. i try to distract myself with things that are soft around the edges and then my mind starts to take control again and it doesn't let me go until i finally close my eyes without opening them. please go away.

love,
amber.

dear nick,

so i know i've only met you a couple times. and i know you're my best friends best friend. and i know we kissed and i know you said you were "just drunk." and i know you have a long-distance relationship. and i really like you all of a sudden, and fuck. i don't know why. you're so cute. i seriously think so. i hope when we held hands and we were cute and you gave me a hug you were sober..ish. when we kissed i was sober. when we held hands i wasn't but when we hugged when you went home i was. and i liked that hug, and i kind of want to have alot of those hugs. please dont fall for bethany.

love,
amber.