June 3rd, 2006

connor O


I never knew that I could ever feel so many different emotions at one time. One second I am excited for prom, the next i am dreading it, I am exhausted from working way too much, I have WAY too much homework, and a thousand ISU's due that by the way I have NO time for. I am sad, for many reasons. I feel lonely, I don't even know why i have good friends,a great family, and a boyfriend. I feel confused, about every thing..I don't know exacty how I feel about certain things. The other day i got into a fight with some one... For the dumbest fucking reason EVER. Nothing makes any sence, I have no time to waiste right now, but i seem to be really really good at wasting the spare time i have. I have finally found an amazing guy, who treats me like a goddess... He is the sweetest boy ever.. but sometimes i wonder if he is actually right for me? Its hard to see him alot because i work, and i am busy with homework. I think I should have waited until the summer to start a relationship. I just didnt want to lead or drag any thing on any longer. My marks are dropping... I am freaking out about college/university. I want to go, but at the same time i am scared and still feel to young. My mind keeps changing about that situation. I never see my family any more. I miss just sitting around my house and relaxing. I can not wait until summer. The day after prom i am resting then going to cuba the next day! Oh and that brings another thing that i am stressing over... MONEY.. I hate money.. but at the same time i love it.

From now on, I am putting all of my spare time(which is next to nothing) Into my homework and projects.. My friends have been gettin pissed off at me cause i can never hang out any more, I cant really help that tho. I have other friends too, and i have a life. Its very hecktic right now, so just wait one more month and we can go crazy together! ok.. deal.
Who ever is readin this probably thinks I am completely insane.. i just had to write random things and blab on and on cause it gets it all off my chest.. I just hate stress!
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