May 17th, 2006

connor O

sick of it...

I am sick and tired of worrying about you and what you think... YOU hurt me, ya I am the one that left you... but YOU were the one that cheated on me, so stop making me feel bad for it. The whole prom thing was complete BULL SHIT. I can't even believe that I did say yes to you after every thing you have put me through. WTF was all that, you made me feel like complete shit and then I say yes, and then you start ignoring me again. Threatening me that if I don't go to prom with you, you aren't going to go to prom at all or stay friends with me. WOW I am such a dumb ass.. Why did i say yes? I dont even know. What ever. Im sick of all your shit, and feeling like shit. You see me at school standing with another guy and you glare at me.... Fuck off. Seriously. I'm sick of your bullshit. Prom is going to suck, and be completely awkward. I'm not even looking forward to it any more. What has happened to you, you used to be so nice and sweet.... Where the hell did you go? Now all you care about is getting drunk and high, who are u? I hate the fact that you have had so much control over how I feel, and to be honest I dont think i have any impact on how you feel. I hate it. I should control my own feelings. Starting now when i see you, Im walking by if you want to say hi you can. I have chased you around long enough. Not any more. If you want to stay friends then fine, but thats up to you. I give up, if you walk by me and dont say hi, im not going to feel bad about it. If you walk by me and glare, ill pretend it dindt happen. I am sick of feeling so shitty... and sick of all this bull.. I have said this many times, and im sick of falling back into square one.

I wish every thing could go back to normal.

(no subject)

Dear girls who cried endlessly in their pillow,

I'm sorry I laughed. I didn't realise how much it hurt. How one guy can completely tear the outside of you because they were bored.

I'm sorry I thought you were stupid. I was stupid.
"mirror mirror on the wall, who's the biggest fool of all? It must be the girl who can't stop crying or maybe it's the girl who kept on trying"

I'm sorry I didn't help. I didn't think it hurt so much.

I'm sorry I pretended it didn't matter. It did. I walked by when you were heart broken and didn't try and comfort you. I will from now on.

I'm sorry for taking so long to figure out how you felt.
Do you forgive me? Please?

Love, the girl who cried endlessly in her pillow
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