Dear mon cher
You're quite cruel. You haven't openly hurt me, but you've been doing it psychologically for months. I was quite fine and dandy back in year 11, hardly knowing you. Then i started to talk to you over the summer. Then we got close in the autumn. Then we went out in the Winter...well for a month.You got me to open up not just to you, but to everyone in the fact i wasn't embarassed of liking you. The you told me you were straight. AFTER telling Dave a few days before hand, and telling me 3 days before that we were ok. Why make it difficult like that? So i got over all that to an extent. BUT THEN you went and fucking said you don't think you're actually straight, you're just going with that for now because it is more of a challenge. OPEN FUCKING PANDORA'S BOX WHY DON'T YOU!? So ever since then it's like...is anything happening here or am i imagining it. The reason i'm so sad right now is because I'm trying to deal with my false hope of you still liking me. and it's not going well. i had a moment at work where i knew for certain who the person you are just lusting over was. and it was such a long moment but at the same time so quick. Please, i beg you don't do anything with him. It would break my heart, not just because you are you, but because he is one of my best friends. It would be so conflicting for me.
I half want to get fucked off my face at yours so i can tell you this. But i know i won't. I'm too cowardly to even do it drunk.
May 15th, 2006
Dear mon cher