May 13th, 2006

Sex

(no subject)

Remember when you were a kid and a plaster and kiss made it all better. I miss that so badly. When you grow up nothing is that fucking simple is it? When did it just stop being simple?!
I wanna be 5 again purely for the fact that you knew nothing and hadnt a care in the world. Your biggest worry is what mum was gonna make for tea and who you would play with in the playground tommorrow. Now I dont even know what im stressed about I just know its constant and horrible. I just wish things could be simple again. Every day I find something else to screw up, another person to make hate me, another problem that needs fixing. I am soo bloody sick of it all. Leaving high school your supposed to be sorted know where your going with your life. Haha. Funny stuff. Wednesday was my last day at school and you know what im still clueless. Clueless on what uni I want to go to next year. Clueless on who in my life realy cares. Clueless as to why my mother insists on making things so difficult. Clueless on why everyone in my life insists on making promises they cant keep. Im a teenager and these are supposed to be the best years of my life. 1.) My mother hates me. 2.) Im gonna screw up my exams so bad. 3.) Uni stuff is all up in the air. 4.) I dont know who my realy friends are anymore and I think ive lost some of the best ones just through being me. Ugh. I want to punch something and kick and scream till I collapse in a heap to tired to move.

Im just so sick of it all. Mabye I should just leave. Run away from it all and start a new life. I mean Aberdeen is okay I suppose? or Edinburgh? I could just accept the place and leave. Start the whole thing over. No baggage, new Laura. Mabye I wont fuck that one up.

Just wish there was someone around to kiss it better and say that everything will be okay...and make me believe it...

x