Why's this getting to me, getting under my skin, taking up every spare second of my existence? Why do these sorts of things affect me? Just when I've done that thing called "moving on," it comes back, gets at me, slips slowly into my mind, gets nice and comfy, settles in for the long haul. And we all know this is gonna become a repeat, because how could it not? It's just how I work and I don't know how to deal withit anymore. People say first is the worst, but when it happens again, you know this will happen to you every time from now on, and you know just how bad it can all get. Second time is just worse. You know you'll never recover.