April 23rd, 2006

connor O

(no subject)

To you

yes we are best friends, and i love being with you. We always have amazing times together. The truth is i need space. Its okay if there are some days where I am busy with homework or have to work. Also its ok if i hang out with other friends, I don't mind you coming along, but I do have a right to be with other friends by my self. I don't want to cause a fight, but I just want to say I am one person, and so are you we aren't one joined person. Also, you haven't really been yourself lately. I don't know what it is, its just not the same old you. I don't want to say this to you cause I know you will think I am saying that i dont want to hang out with you any more, but it is not that at ALL when we hang out its too fun, i wouldnt throw it away. I just need some more space then what i have been having lately. Thats it.

best friends forever
just be

(no subject)

Dear Monkey,

At first I was glad that I was able to get back in touch with you, and even more so when you seemed happy for me when I had found someone else. You wished me well, and hoped I was happy.
But now, it's getting kind of creepy. I'm bordering on regretting that I contacted you again after this long. Calling me several time this morning (what was it, 7?), trying to get ahold of me so you could bring me coffee. That was very sweet of you, but I won't deny that it was bordering on obsessive.
Not to mention to fact that you've called my dorm at 3 in the morning the last couple of nights. I wasn't here either time, and you're lucky that my roommate is out of town, or else you would have disturbed her (and that's really not okay in my mind).
I'm "seeing" someone else, you know this. I'm happy with him, and whatever it is that we are at the moment.
I just kind of wish that you would move on. And I know that you misinterpret my niceness towards you as flirting, everyone does.
You said that you miss "us". I'm sorry, but I never really considered us an "us", if that makes sense. We never got really serious on a relationship level. Sure, we went places physically, but not without discomfort on my part.
I was just really good at hiding that, which is probably just another source of problems.
And, as always, I look back on things and imagine that they were better than they actually were. I did that with the time I spent with you. I "conveniently" forgot the fact that I often felt uncomfortable around you.
Well, I still do.
And I just don't know how to tell you.

I want to be your friend, but I need it to stop there. I can't handle anything more involved with you.
-A
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