April 2nd, 2006

(no subject)

Thanks. For making me laugh. And shit like that. You've introduced me to a lot of great people and great musical artists. And they should totally make a Luca&Amy the Musical. Let's make it, okay? Thanks for listening and understanding, nukkaaaa. I can't wait until you make the Nelson family lunch again. Yum. No matter who I'm dating, you're my boyfriend. lol. I heart you mucho galore.
Love, me.

What would I do without you? We talk about anything and everything. We understand eachother more than anyone else. And yes, you've corrupted me, but I wouldn't have it any other way because you're the sister I never had. So w/e peace out home skillet. I love you. You know the ideals of friendship.
Love, me.

Hallie Leelatte:
Yo. I'm very glad we became close. You understand everything. I heart you. Girl nights are a blast. And your boy box[es] amaze me. Thanks for everything and for being there.
Love, me.

Worlds best dad. You are, lykeee, so funny. I don't want you to go to college. But I know you'll visit me lots. I loooooooove you!
Love, me.

You're amazing. I love bitching about the world with you. I want you back in my classes, like, right now. < 3
Love, me.

(no subject)


Thanks, mate. You know, when there's no one else around, you're still a good friend. I'll ask her the next time I see her. And to think, all week I've been disgusted with your self-promotion and grandstanding. I was so irritated. And now? Now I'm glad I know you. Thanks.


P.S. I was really surprised you didn't make some stupid joke.
  • Current Music
    "White Palms" by Black Rebel Motorcycle Club

(no subject)

Dear self.

get the fuck over it. so you didn't get into the colleges you wanted to go to. so they screwed you over. this is the story of your life. you work ten times harder than anyone else and every challenge is harder for you. you need to go to Hofstra University, kick major ass, and transfer yourself out of there to a good school that will make you set higher standards.

get good grades. get straight A's. become one of the top flute players in the studio in the first three months.

you always challenge yourself, no matter what it is. it could be something as simple as picking out a new piece to learn but you always do it to yourself. it's made you a better person, believe it or not.

suck it up. you're stuck here on this island for another year while all your freinds are off beginning a new chapter in their lives. prove to them all that you kick ass. prove to your brother and parents that you can do it. prove to all the high school teachers who were especially hard on you because you were in advanced classes with extremely smart people but you were just 'average.'

and especially to that honors chemistry teacher who called you dumb and made you cry.

show everyone you're not just 'average.'


businessly your,

P.S. give that boy a chance. he's your senior prom date for christ's sake. & YOU asked him!

beautiful boy..

oh well, you've got me under your spell,
and i don't think that i'm kidding around,
i don't think i can forget you now.

i'm so fucking scared.

i hate that it seems like there hasn't been a minute passed. i hate that i dream about being in your arms. i hate that i cried in the middle of Walgreens, because you said pretty things about me to my best friend.

you're miserable without me. you have been for months. i hate seeing you sad.
i'm miserable without you. i tried to get over you. he failed, because he wasn't you.

logic says, jump in, go for it.
but i'm so fucking scared you're gonna hurt me again, despite all of the pretty things you tell me. you can spend hours telling me how beautiful i am, how much you care... but... alksjef;lasjke;alksj what if the same thing happens again? i was never happier then when i was with you (in your arms, in your car, on the satellite, kissing, holding hands, talking over dinner, anything&everything with you). and i was never more miserable then the night you left me.

comfort me? make me ok? 'cuz i can't say no to you.

you begged me. you told me you'd follow me anywhere. here i am, this plain, average girl, with an italian god on his knees, begging for me. i don't know how to describe it. what did i do to deserve you? why are you going to make me love you again?

some of the little things are different. like.. i'll never run my fingers through your long locks again, and my blonde (/pink/blue) short hair is different for you to play with. you don't know this.. but i cut off all my hair and bleached it because.. there was nothing i could change, on the inside, so i had to change something on the inside. i hurt so badly. the loss of my hair was my way of dealing, of coping without you. if i cut off the locks you loved, then, in a way, it was me leaving you.

but i don't wanna leave you.
i want you right here, right now.
i want you to come over after work, and leave me a cute note on my car, and kiss me on my lips.
i want to kiss your neck, i want to hold your hand, i want to hear you speak to me, i want to be with you. a lot.

stop making me care.

please don't make these worries come true. i loved you four months ago. i will fall in love with you again, i promise. (i don't think i'm out of love yet. don't make me think of it.) don't hurt me, antonio.
i care too much for you for my own good.

shlove your face, beautiful ♥