i admit. i owe you an apology. on my last entry in here, i told you that you && brain needed to shut up for once. but i was wrong. one of you, i haven't figured out which yet, always seems to be a step ahead of me. i perfer to think it's you, heart. cos you're the one that doesn't do all the logical thinking. you take instinct && run with it. brain has to think everything out && figure out all possible scenarios && all possible outcomes to all possible scenarios. but one of you was right this time. or perhaps both. && i thank you.
even though you're just parts inside my body, i'm glad i have this particular heart && this particular brain. even if this letter doesn't make any sense. that's the beauty of this. it doesn't have to.
you've been home for a week today! i'm so excited! you seem so happy!
&& you're right.
everytime i see you, i'm going to scream "RANDY, I LOVE YOU && I'M GLAD YOU'RE ALIVE!"
cos i fuckin' am, kidd. && i'm glad you're with your mum now, not your dad.
don't jump off that bridge like i requested in my last letter. i love how we fight, go two months without talking, then a mere comment on a xanga && suddenly, everything picks off like it never stopped. we can still talk on the phone with no silences, make each other laugh hysterically about things that no one will ever understand && make the other feel better when one makes a complete ass of themselves.
i hated the fight we had. but i'm grateful for it. because i did realize that i don't need you to live.
but i also realized that not having you in my life is more pain then i'd ever want to imagine ever again.
i always said friends til the bitter end. you always asked why it had to be bitter. it doesn't. but that's how it seems to work between us, eh?? but you wanna know a secret??
i wouldn't have it any other way.
we take the term dysfunctional && make it look cool.