March 26th, 2006

(no subject)

dear brain,

stop thinking about him. stop reading old notes. stop reading through old diaries. stop dwelling on the past. stop trying to pinpoint exactly where things went wrong, stop writting him letters on this, stop writting him letters in your head, stop writting songs about it, stop watching all the movies you two used to watch together, stop. stop. stop. stop.

you decided to forget. so forget it already. it's just that simple.

or maybe this should have been a letter to you, heart. you who betrays me, you who never listens, who you convinces me it's best to just run wild with my feelings, to trust you, to trust my instinct. maybe you should just shut up for a little bit to.


dear mmy,

jump off a bridge.

don't swim for the edge.

let your body sink.

&& never resurface.

at least then you're really dead. not only dead to me. at least then i can cry at your funeral, mourn you, then be finished with it all. at least then this'll stop hurting so badly.


dear ben,



dear boy with the funeral for a friend hat,

i'm definatly going to scare up the courage to talk to you next weekend. so you'd better be there with your friend playing hackey sack. please??

or maybe i wont.

i dunno.

i'm such a coward.

dear radiostation,

play freebird more.

it was nice singing with mom in the car that day.

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I rock.

(no subject)

dear you,

so, i'm sitting in my living room, and all of a sudden, i remembered that one time in art a few weeks ago.
when mikey asked you if you were depressed.
i know she said it as a joke because of the pictures you drew me.
but, when i looked at your face, i could tell your answer wasn't a joke.

"jeez, are you depressed?"
"..i don't know."

i know you are.

i love you.
♥ me.