March 16th, 2006

(no subject)

Dear you,
We started becoming better friends back in december. You started to fall for me, and I was starting to fall for you, even though you were dating my best friend. I never tried anything, you never cheated on her. It was complicated but we worked through it, you eventually broke up with her; not for me, but for other reasons. You told me you liked me, you told me you wanted to be with me, you said we would be together when you moved a bit closer and you weren't 2 hours away. I saw you every weekend, I kept praying something would happen between us. I introduced you to my friend shanna, and my friend britni. Shanna thought you were cute, everything was still good between us. You and shanna became closer, shanna wanted to be with you and started to say suggestive things to you. THat hurt me so bad, I wanted to die when you read me some of those things. I hated shanna. I hate her still. Shanna fucked everything up, you started to become more distant to me in that way. You started saying "we're too good of friends, i don't wanna fuck up our relationship as friends". YOU REALIZE IF IT WASN'T FOR SHANNA WE WOULD BE DATING RIGHT NOW, WE WOULD HAVE AN AMAZING RELATIONSHIP, AND I WOULDNT HAVE TO GET UPSET ABOUT YOU EVERY FUCKING DAY OF MY LIFE. YOU PISS ME OFF SO MUCH. All i ever wanted to do was be with you, i just wanted to have a relationship with you, hold you, kiss you. I miss kissing your lips and touching your face. I love you so much that I hate you. I hate you so much that I love you. I want to take out all my anger on shanna. I want to kickher ass and show her the pain i go through every day because of her bullshit. Im depressed im so fucking depressed. Ive been trying to win the hearts of other boys, only so i can leave them after they start saying "I love you". Because when it comes down to it, even though I hate you, I would be with you in a heartbeat.
Base

(no subject)

I wanted to post that thing where you write 5 things you would never say to people, but I think that is immature. So I just wrote it, and I'm and gonna let 2 special people read them tomorrow, and probably burn them. I like being the bigger person. Feels pretty cool. I would suggest it to anyone.