March 7th, 2006


Without you.

Without you, the ground thaws, the rain falls, the grass grows.
Without you, the seeds root, the flowers bloom,
The children play. The stars gleam, the poets dream, the eagles fly, without you.
The earth turns, the sun burns, but I die, without you.
Without you, the breeze warms, the girl smiles, the cloud moves.
Without you, the tides change, the boys run, the oceans crash.
The crowds roar, the days soar, the babies cry, without you.
The moon glows, the river flows, but I die, without you.

But I know blue, only blue, lonely blue, within me blue. . .

I hope you're having fun out doing community service in West Virginia. I'm missing you terribly here, and without you here I've been thinking more about our future together. What are we going to do when we get married? I want to observe the Jewish traditions I've been dreaming about since I was little, and I know that can't happen unless you convert. Which is out of the question. I respect that you've been raised a Catholic from day 1, and to ask you to change your religious life around is not something I could ever do. You'd have to want to change. And what about the kids? Mom told me the other day that she couldn't really handle seeing a Christmas tree in our home, which actually came as a shock to me. I was thinking we could have both. Ugh it's so confusing! Yes, we could have a dual-officiated service, and the children could be raised with both religious influences and then decide for themselves when they're older. But that means I can't see them Bar/Bat Mitzvahed.

See, this is what happens when you leave me to my own thoughts for a week baby. I go nuts. We're so young, but I wish we were older so that you couldn't shrug these issues off. One day we won't be able to ignore them, and I'm so worried we won't find a solution.

That's another thing. Is it me, or are you becoming distant? You're not as expressive as you once were. Then again, that might just be the overly romantic side of me not being satisfied. I shouldn't be complaining at all - our relationship of 3 years has been nearly trouble-free. But I just wish you'd be more romantic like we were. Perhaps it's just a mark of the times, and we've both been under heavy amounts of stress. You comfort me (which for the most part has been much more vital to my sanity than romance), and I can only hope I do the same for you when you need it.

I can't bear the thought of finding someone else who completes me the way you do. Breaking off our relationship just because we couldn't find a solution to our religious quandry would be utterly stupid, and I doubt you'd go without putting up one hell of a fight. And I'd be no match for you, because you could run verbal circles around me without breaking a sweat. A passion like yours is not to be trifled with, and it would take a lot, to say the least, for me to even think about it.

God I miss you. I know I'll regret wishing my Spring Break would hurry up and end just to hear your voice again as soon as classes start, but at this point I'm going nuts. I miss your hugs, smile, simple and intimate touch, and kisses (eskimo kisses too!).

Please come back to me (or at least manage to give me a call so I know you're okay) soon,
your one and only
  • Current Music
    Inside - Moby

APPARENTLY, were not on the same wavelenght of affection

So I know everything about you.
And I can stare at you for hours.
But not in a stalkerish kinda way.
Promise. Its just you're so you.Grr.
I am glad to know you'll miss me.

SummerLoverBoy -
I dont know why I have been thinking about you so much lately. it escapes me as to why. I just still sorta have a thing for you I guess. Nothing ever really ended between us. And it wasnt summer ending either, and u know it. Otherwise you wouldnt hit on me every time we see each other, and we never would have layed on my trampoline for 2 hours that night. (Ps - for you sick minded people, nothing happned).And we are going to be seeing alot more of each other soon. So I wonder how you feel. Maybe we'll have some more fun over the summer. And next year, when your playing football and I'm on the sidelines. Who knows. =]
  • Current Music
    Going to Pasalacqua - GD
wonka candy vs liquor

(no subject)


I miss you tonight, more than I've missed you in a long time. And I'm not sure why. I wish I knew. But I don't.
I keep thinking about it, and I want to say goodbye. I want to tell you everything being housed in my heart. I want to know if you're proud of me. I want to know what you think about everything.
I miss hearing your voice. I miss seeing your face. I miss everything about you. I miss the way kids would steal your kite/toy when we went to the park.
I miss everything about you.
And I wish I could see you one last time, like you were. You were the biggest kid I've ever known. And I loved that.
I used to be a fish, that you'd reel in.
You were so fun to be around. And I miss that.

The bottom line is, I MISS you. And I miss you MORE with every passing month, week, day, hour minute.
I miss him...Collapse )
  • Current Music
    none, but if I had some it would be depressing