February 20th, 2006

We could live through these letters...

Brandin, it's become pretty hard to function when you aren't by my side. I've never been to emotionally attached to anyone in my life. I wish I could spend every second with you, but that can't happen right now, and it is killing me. I want to be married. I want to know I am going to spend the rest of my life with you. I know people think we are moving to fast, but I know you are "the one." You don't want me for sex. I mean it took us three months to even kiss, most guys wouldn't have waited that long! I know it has only been eight months since we started "dating," but we (and everyone that knows us) know that there was something there way before these eight months. It's been over a year and a half since the first time we talked. Although I never admitted it back then, you have always been the boy that gave me butterflies. I was just too shy, scared, and nervous to say it. The things you say to me, leave me beyond speechless. I never know what to say back to you. I love you so much...you are my everything. Love, your Jessica Mae.

So Theres this boy..

Have you ever wanted something so bad you would forget everything wrong doing? So bad, you would degrate yourself for it back? Have you ever tried to keep yourself connected becuase you can't have it competly && that is your last hope to stay connected. So bad that its sick. So bad you need to lie to you're best freind as to why you're still being nice. But have you ever noticed that that thing you want so bad is the worst possile thing for you?? Ever notice how miserable it all made you?? Ever notice how restricted you felt?? Ever notice how your mood depends on them?? Ever notice how much happier you are?? Ever notice how many more opportunities open up because you don't let their approval, or competition, or pissy mood stand in your way?

That sound pretty sad and pathetic to you?? That was me. I moved on. If that is you, I suggest you do the same.
  • Current Music
    Medicating - Boys Night Out

(no subject)

i want you so bad right now i think it's going to jump out of me and do you for me. i don't care if we're just friends and i don't care that you said 3 months ago that you're not bi, there's got to be something there that you're just scared of.
i'm almost horny enough to get together with jake again even though he's nothing on what you are and what we had. he's really not good with the art of less tongue either. it's so frustrating that every thought in my head that i want to tell you right now is inappropriate. i sound like such a pervert.
  • Current Music
    yeah yeah yeahs-y control