February 13th, 2006

some questions....

What is truth?
How can you determine if someone is lying to you.
How can you trust someone once they have lied.
How can you prove that they won't lie again?
How many times can you let them back into your life before you're just being stupid and setting yourself up for more hurt?

What is trust?
How can you explain tha I will trust you even when no-one else will understand it?
Do you even know how much I believe in you? How much I worry about you?
Is it even possible that maybe you really have changed?
What would that mean for us?
It's what I've been waiting for, but is it even possible?
If you are telling me the truth, what is going to happen?

What is love?
My love for you hasn't changed, but there's still the possibility that it could, isn't there?
Do you feel the same way?
Is two years of waiting enough?
Should I just give up?
Is all the love in the world enough to make up for everything else?

And last, but definitely not least, when is everything going to finally make sense?
need hug

(no subject)

dear community,

i'm in a really big sitch right now. and i could really use some advice.

see, my boyfriend and i broke up last week. and we're fine, still friends. which is good. however, we had both already bought eachother valentines gifts. he wants to still give me mine. but i am uncomfortable both giving my gift to him, and recieving his gift to me.

so should i just suck it up? or should i tell him that i'm uncomfortable?

thanks a bunch

(no subject)

Dear Kevin,

if I were to tell you, I don't think you would understand. I don't think it would even matter anymore. You have her now, and she loves you. Perhaps, even as much as I do; or, did, to keep on the safe side. I don't know her, so I honestly can't judge her. I can't judge you for loving her, either, if you do, in fact, love her. Sometimes, I think you and her may last where we didn't. Forever, I mean. In some ways, it scares me. You are, were, the only person who I could honestly say I could spend the rest of my life with. Albeit, she says the same thing. Out with the old, and in with the new, I suppose. For awhile there, I was actually throwing the word 'soul mates' around in my head. That has since vanished, simply because she seems to genuinely love you as well, and you've made it perfectly clear that there's nothing more between us. There's just one thing I don't understand; what happened? You never answered my question, and that was the last thing I'd asked of you. You did love me, at one point in time. All I wanted was an answer, and perhaps, if I had gotten one, I would be able to move on.


  • Current Music
    Train - If I Can't Change Your Mind

letter to you <3

I'm not quite sure where to begin this but I know the things I want to say to you, and I don't want this to sound like any old letter, or something i have just made up, because I want it to be nice and honest... I want to tell you how you make me feel when you're at my house and I'm lying in your arms. I feel like I can just lie there and you wont mind because you'll hug me and kiss me and make me feel amazing. You make me feel so amazing, that I forget everything else about that day, it's just like me and you. And it's still sometimes hard to believe that you would want to spend your time with me, and choose me over other girls and let me be lucky enough to be loved by you. Because sometimes I worry I can't give you the same amount of happiness back in return but I hope that I do. 
> "And to this day I wonder how I am the only star in your sky." <. It's soo kool that last Valentine's Day you were round my house and spending it with me and we were both like excited we'd be spending it with eachother- like our first one together. And no other Valentine's day had meant anything to me really (except for when my mom bought me this shower gel:P) until I was with you. And you have bought  new meaning to my life and showed me how you can be such a caring, loving beautiful lil person towards me. I don't think you realise how safe I feel when I'm in your arms... and how special I feel when I see you coming over to me for a hug and kiss... and how loved I feel when you say you love me, or do a tiny tiny thing that you probably wouldn't even notice you do :P like kiss me for no reason, or say hello first online :P or grab my hand or stroke my hair or something. It's the little things that show me the big things.. lol:P I hope you know what I mean. You know when I first wrote about you/ thought about you, I thought about how much of an amazing person you were and how much you care about things and other people.. and that you generally did care about me and all I ever seemed to want was to see/ be more and more with you. And after all those days, nights, emails, talks, walks... you're mine. And everything I ever thought I'd want in someone you have showed me and why. and i don't mean it cheesy. I just want you to understand me maybe. so im sorry if this is boring. I just love you so much and I love the way your smile emphasises your beautiful eyes and how you can manipulate me by doing those kute faces so you win stuff! and i love how you can pin me down with your weak strength and i love the way we have our own little world when I'm with you and I love how you make every other lad really gay because you're so perfect to me. So.. all I've been trying to do is show you how much I love you, and how grateful I am of you, all the time. you really do mean the world to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
love you soo much xxxxxxxxxxxxx